Can the Groom's family to offer to have a home reception after a desination wedding?

walkerbluex · February 2014

My Brother in law is Marrying a lovely Lady who is from out of the country. They have decided to have the wedding with her family across seas. Most of his family cannot afford to travel. Is it ok to offer to have a reception in his hometown at one of our homes when they have returned?

HisGirlFriday13 · February 2014

walkerbluex said:

My Brother in law is Marrying a lovely Lady who is from out of the country. They have decided to have the wedding with her family across seas. Most of his family cannot afford to travel. Is it ok to offer to have a reception in his hometown at one of our homes when they have returned?

Yes, absolutely. This is called an at-home reception, and can be styled as such. Your brother and FSIL should dress nicely, but not in their wedding attire. There should be no trappings of a wedding -- no bridal clothes, no bridal attendants, no vow reciting, no first dance, no cake-cutting, etc.

It should just be a party in honour of the newlyweds.

CMGragain · February 2014

It should not be a "wedding reception". It would be a party to celebrate their marriage. No wedding related traditions. If you want to give a dinner or an afternoon tea in honor of the couple, that is perfectly fine.

mysticl · February 2014

I get all the other stuff but is the cake cutting really that bad? I assume it's ok to serve cake. I'm used to the guest of honor cutting the cake. For example at birthday parties the birthday person always makes at least the first cut (unless he/she is too little) and often does all the cutting and serving. So by that token since the newly weds are the guests of honor wouldn't it be acceptable, even expected, that they cut the cake but leave out the whole feeding each other thing.

HisGirlFriday13 · February 2014

mysticl said:
I get all the other stuff but is the cake cutting really that bad? I assume it's ok to serve cake. I'm used to the guest of honor cutting the cake. For example at birthday parties the birthday person always makes at least the first cut (unless he/she is too little) and often does all the cutting and serving. So by that token since the newly weds are the guests of honor wouldn't it be acceptable, even expected, that they cut the cake but leave out the whole feeding each other thing.

This is one of those grey areas. In my family, the guest of honour always cuts the cake, unless age or infirmity prevent it. But for a husband and wife to cut and feed each other the cake would be too wedding-y.

So one of the guests of honour could cut the cake, they just shouldn't do the joint cutting/feeding thing.

phira · February 2014

Yeah, no cake-cutting like you see at weddings where the newlyweds feed each other (it always creeped me out and I'm glad we're skipping it at our wedding).

But there had better be cake because a party without cake is just a meeting.

s-aries8990 · February 2014

Ditto the majority of what everyone else said, BUT:

I think that the B&G can totally cut the cake (but leave out the feeding part)

and

I think that the B&G can have A dance to open the dance floor (should there be dancing)

AddieCake · February 2014

I would not side eye them cutting a cake.

walkerbluex · February 2014

Thank you everyone, I think if we are going to have a celebration of the wedding and not a wedding reception, then I, as the host will cut and serve the cake. I really appropriate everyone's feedback.

photokitty · February 2014

PS - I would not side eye you wearing your wedding dress. I like seeing it - this is another area people are divided on. I'm Team Wedding Dress, but that's just MHO

But you never have to wear it.

Can the Groom's family to offer to have a home reception after a desination wedding?

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