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You would think I would know this by now, but I don't

themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
edited February 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I am trying to make a guest list for the rehearsal dinner.  Do SOs of the wedding party come to the rehearsal dinner? Or is it more like a business dinner?  Like you wouldn't want SOs waiting around through the wedding rehearsal so it is only members of the wedding paty. I would be bored at a rehearsal if I weren't in the wedding party, but my wedding party's SOs might be slighted if they are not invited to dinner.  What does etiquette suggest?  should I invite SOs of wedding party, or is it just the wedding party and parents, and the pastor?  Should I give the pastor an SO, or no?  I just want to do the right thing.
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Re: You would think I would know this by now, but I don't

  • FizzySipsFizzySips member
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    Yes, invite all SOs and your pastor. Anyone who rehearses should be invited to the dinner, along with their SO.
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  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
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    I knew I was inviting the pastor, just not sure if I should give her a plus one.  I think she s divorced, but she maybe she would like to bring her child
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  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 2014
    Just updated my guest list, thanks! Also.  Is it necessary to invite siblings that aren't in the wedding party to the rehearsal dinner?  My brother never calls me... ever. Not for birthdays, christmas, news of engagement.  Nothing.  I am crazy about his mom (my step-mom).  I think she might be offended if he weren't invited.  Should I just say it is for wedding party? Or should I consider inviting him to not create any waves? WWYD?
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  • missmo14missmo14 member
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    I would invite the brother

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  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
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    Okay, thanks ;)
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  • missnc77missnc77 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    We're not inviting my FI's step-brother to the rehearsal (or wedding). They aren't close and didn't grow up together, so it would be like inviting a stranger. However, if they did actually live together at some point and it was a matter of just not liking each other, we probably would have invited. I also don't think his step-mom cares though - his dad and stepmom married after my FI left home for college. She gets it. I think it really depends on the situation. I'd definitely invite your step brother to the wedding, but it would really depend on how well you actually know the step brother for the rehearsal dinner or how much you want to avoid an offended step mother.
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    You should invite SOs, but do not have to invite plus ones for truly single folks. You do not have to invite anyone who is not in the wedding. I would show dad and step mom the list and see if she mentions her son is missing.if she doesn't i would not invite him. GL!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I did not invite any of my step siblings to the RD. They did not have a role in my wedding and my family did not host the RD.

     







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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    edited February 2014
    I would probably invite your brother if he's invited to the wedding.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • mysticlmysticl member
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    Our Best Man's wife just met us at the restaurant rather than sitting around through the rehearsal dinner.  She was also local and knew the area.  Everyone else's "date" just hung out and chatted at the back of the chapel.  
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    For every wedding rehearsal/ rehearsal dinner I have been a part of. SOs met us at the dinner, so they didnt have to stand around and watch people practice walking.

    And another vote for inviting your brother.

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  • melbensomelbenso member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited February 2014
    We're inviting our officiant's wife.  But both our officiant (UU minister) and his wife are friends of my FI.  She is traveling with him from out of state, so even if FI didn't know her, we would still invite her. Our guest list for the rehearsal dinner is:
    Wedding party, their SOs and children
    Readers and their SOs (neither has kids)
    Officiant and his SO
    Family members, including SOs and children

    My FMIL is hosting the dinner and she specifically requested that we include all family members, rather than just immediate family.
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  • singinchick13singinchick13 member
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    We are inviting our immediate families, wedding party, their SO's, our officiant and his wife. This includes step-siblings who are not part of the wedding party.
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  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    He is my half brother, not my step-brother.  i will invite him.  It just is weird to invite him to close events when I have not received a call from him in two years and before that was five years.  And those phone calls were to only help him out with a situation he has gotten himself into.  I always help him, because it seems like the right thing to do, and I always thought that some day he would come around, but it doesn't seem to be the case. I stopped putting myself out there all the time, and calling him, when it seemed apparent that he did not want to talk to me. Naturally, he always makes sure he is around for any gift receiving occasion, but that is it. I will be a gracious host and invite him, it's just frustrating
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
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    I wouldn't invite your brother. An accident of DNA doesn't mean he gets invited to the RD. If he's not in your life and not really 'family,' then why invite him?
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    mysticl said:
    Our Best Man's wife just met us at the restaurant rather than sitting around through the rehearsal dinner.  She was also local and knew the area.  Everyone else's "date" just hung out and chatted at the back of the chapel.  


    This is what happened at mine too. Plus we had some OOT guests who were staying with my parents, they came along & just hung out at the church & came with us for dinner. My MIL insisted on inviting all OOT guests to reheresal, she was paying & half of the OOT were here family (we had maybe 10 OOT total).

    In regards to Brother, invite him, it will make mom happy, but my guess is he probably won't show unless you're having an open bar.

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  • penelope4612penelope4612 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    Are people inviting their officiant to the rehearsal dinner and the reception?  We were not planning on inviting our officiant to the reception (we have no relationship with her other than hiring her for our wedding).  We would be fine with inviting her to the rehearsal dinner but it might seem odd to extend that invitation and not the formal invitation to the wedding.  She charges a separate fee for both the rehearsal and the wedding.
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  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Most people do invite the officiant to the rehearsal dinner as a thank you for performing their marriage.
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