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What the Hell?!?!?

LDay2014LDay2014 member
500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Okay, so I've recently made the foray into another set of forums...and I'm mortified. 
Everyone's a princess, everyone is special...

AND NO ONE HAS A F*#KING BRAIN

That is all...
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Re: What the Hell?!?!?

  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Welcome to the wedding world!  Did you go to WW or WB?
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  • LDay2014LDay2014 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    WW - so far in today's posts I've seen 
    • Standing ceremony
    • tiered reception
    • 8 week in advance rsvp
    • b lists
    • forced 'even sides'
    MY GOD....
    Report Reply
  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    That lack of a brain (or common sense or common courtesy or common decency or respect) is what the wedding industry counts on to over-sell things and encourage rudeness from brides in the name of 'but it's MY DAY!'
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    WW really scares me although I ventured over there a few days ago and a few brides were actually giving spot on etiquette advice and taking on the princess bride.

    WB has some princesses and a couple of self professed etiquette police who go more off of opinion than Miss Manners.  
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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I frequent WW, and it's much better than it was only a month or two ago. But it's still very different from TK. Part of it is that a lot of brides who try both sites do NOT like the advice they get here (because we're telling them that, "It's my day!" isn't a good reason to be rude to your guests) and go to WW, where "It's my day!" is more commonly accepted.

    My partner knows I frequent both forums, and so often when I tell him a forum story, he can tell which forum I'm talking about. Usually WW stories are like, "You HAVE to come see what this bride wants to do!"
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
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  • lalalorelailalalorelai member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I frequent both sites, though I'm more of a lurker on both. Sometimes when I post my opinions on WW, I get vilified for being an "etiquette snob." Whatever, so I hate PPD's, making bridesmaids your slaves, and tiered receptions. Come at me, bro. 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited March 2014
    I have been accused of being "stuck up" and "snobbish"  snobbish by some family members and casual acquaintances.  I find it interesting that the most snobbish and prejudiced people I have known come from lower or working class backgrounds.  (My Dad was a truck driver.)
    When I was 12, I received a full scholarship to a southern private prep school.  Most of the other students were from wealthy or socially prominent families.  They were very familiar with traditional etiquette, and it was taught right along with deportment and academics.  I had to learn to fit in.  Those girls were the nicest people ever.  No one ever made me feel "different" or uneasy.  That is what good manners is all about.

    Later in life, I taught in a public school near Washington DC.  Half the students were from a public housing project, and were on welfare.  Those kids were snobbish to the extreme.  They would ostracize someone if they didn't have the "right" shoes, jacket, etc.  They were horribly rude to each other.  Most of them had never been taught anything about good manners.  It was a revelation to me.

    Our brides come from all over the spectrum.  Some already know about etiquette.  Others only know what their peers have done.  I do blame the media.  TV shows like SYTTD only serve to make brides think that they are entitled to more, more, more!  It is all about the money. 
    Anyone can have good manners.  If you weren't raised with them, you can learn them.  Some Brides are doing just this, and hooray for them!  Others just stumble along in their deluded dream of the pretty princess wedding that is "their day".  They don't last long here, on the Knot.

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • missnc77missnc77 member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    Why are you snarking on others? Do you see the irony here?

    http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1012505/gap-update/p1

    "LDay2014 said: @OliveOilsMom @TheGrimReaper clearly you don't know what a TOP is...and again ladies, I'm not justifying myself to a bunch of internet strangers.  

    This is the path that we have chosen for our wedding.  If you don't like it, I really don't care.  I am having a hosted gap, and for the ideas you provided on that, I am thankful.

    So, for all intents and purposes, I will now let this drop to the 2nd page"
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  • LDay2014LDay2014 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited March 2014
    @missnc77, while I appreciate you bringing up another post - you will also note I did in fact heed the advice of the other women (without name calling, berating, or otherwise putting them down) and was able to modify my plans with the help of the article.  I am grateful for the tool that was provided by another poster and apologized for being a stick in the mud because I was frustrated and feeling stuck between what FI wanted and what was right.

    I have always been thankful for the advice on the etiquette boards in the end - even if sometimes it takes a little while to come around to.


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  • kns1988kns1988 member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Here's what The Knot checklist has to say about sending invitations:

    • Mail your invites!

      check this out 
      Get them out by the three-month mark. If you don't want the post office to add a giant stamp across the front of the envelope, you can ask to have them hand-canceled.

    Ugh. From reading the boards, I know it's 6-8 weeks in advance, not 3 months. I seriously have to cross reference everything they say with the forums to make sure I'm following the right etiquette rules. It's exhausting.
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  • missnc77missnc77 member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    Oh, so you decided to not leave your guests to themselves for 2 hours with cheese and crackers while to go take photos at a distant location? Awesome! Sorry for bringing it back up again.
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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    missnc77 said:
    Oh, so you decided to not leave your guests to themselves for 2 hours with cheese and crackers while to go take photos at a distant location? Awesome! Sorry for bringing it back up again.
    We already get an unnecessary rap over at WW for being assholes. She listened and changed her plans. I was one of her more vocal critics before she changed her plans; if I can be an adult about it, so can you.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
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  • missnc77missnc77 member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    ?? I just said sorry for bringing it back up again.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    phira said:
    missnc77 said:
    Oh, so you decided to not leave your guests to themselves for 2 hours with cheese and crackers while to go take photos at a distant location? Awesome! Sorry for bringing it back up again.
    We already get an unnecessary rap over at WW for being assholes. She listened and changed her plans. I was one of her more vocal critics before she changed her plans; if I can be an adult about it, so can you.

    I agree. That last comment wasn't necessary. We have had plenty of brides come here, get ripped, and then change their tune and go on to be well-liked and valuable contributors to the community. Bringing up her past mistakes and berating her about them after she has changed her plans isn't necessary. If she continued to be a special snowflake or treat people like shit, that'd be different.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • APDSS22APDSS22 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    missnc77 said:
    ?? I just said sorry for bringing it back up again.
    With that first question added on and no tonal inflection (internet) it didn't look sincere, it looked snarky.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Yep. it looked snarky. If it was sincere, then I apologize.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • JennyColadaJennyColada member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    When I first got engaged and asked married friends for site planning suggestions, one suggested WW (I came to TK first since my friend's gf works for the back end of the site).

    After seeing TK, WW's site looks like it's stuck in the 90s. I just think TK's layout is much for visually appealing.

    All that's to say that I spent about 5 seconds on the WW forums and could not be happier.
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