IS it me?????

Re: IS it me?????

• Blue_Bird member

  

  March 2014

  I don't remember having that particular issue. What are your friends starting arguments about?
  

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• Inkdancer member

  

  March 2014

  My friends never did that.
  
  It might not be you. You might just have crappy friends.
  

  

  

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• mmarie287 member

  

  March 2014

  absolutely anything. The smallest and biggest things. One friend all of a sudden started having anxiety issues 2 weeks after i got engaged and any little thing i try to talk to her about makes her flip. I have literally tried talking to her about horses and some how end up in an argument with her. Another made is extremely clear that she wanted to be made of honor when i got engaged but when i got engaged, she was the first to know and all she could managed was a smile when i told her. after that shes been completely distant and lives in a different country so she told me this weekend that shes basically only making it to the wedding. and nothing else. my little sister is in a terrbile relationship and completely took it out on me last week. I am usually there to support my friends and family but this is just ridiculous.
  

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• mmarie287 member

  

  March 2014

  You might be right.
  

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• LDay2014 member

  

  March 2014

  @mmarie287 I know I had to make a conscious decision to not talk wedding with pretty much everyone. Very simply put, no one cares nearly as much about it as I do and I would drive them all mental if I did. It may be you, it may be that there is something else going on with your friends that they are dealing with and don't want to share. But if you're finding it's a large portion of your friends, you are the common denominator...just be aware of how much you are talking wedding and how you're treating your friends. When I'm super-sensitive, I blow everything out of proportion!

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• mmarie287 member

  

  March 2014

  I barely bring up anything on the wedding with anyone unless they ask but you  might be right on the super sensitive part. Maybe it's the stress of planning and spending on top of normal life things. And I may be taking offense on things i shouldn't but there are def things that anyone would take offense to wedding planning or not. I am also the first of my friends to get engaged so so one really knows what the heck to do hah
  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  March 2014

  I definitely didn't have any issues like that. How old are your friends? This all just sounds immature. 

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• mmarie287 member

  

  March 2014

  mid 20's
  

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• APDSS22 member

  

  March 2014

  I'm not going to say it's an age thing but my friends around the same age started having major drama with each other while I was engaged. About non-wedding related things. Then bringing it to me. I remember thinking "I'm getting married, not gaining superpowers of conflict resolution."

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• mmarie287 member

  

  March 2014

  that's exactly how i feel. I am getting the brunt of everyone's problems whether or not it has anything to do with me. And a lot of it is about them not being able to handle regular adult life. I'm not saying i got all my shit together but i had to grow up pretty fast and was able to handle a lot of responsibility at an early age. But having to handle everyone's emotions all at once. That I am not prepared for. ::sigh:: it could very well be an age thing. And the stress of not being in college anymore and realzing life is stressful is making them go nuts.
  

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• delujm0 member

  

  March 2014

  It sucks that your frieds are being this way...but if your MOH lives out of the country, you shouldn't be mad that she can only make it to the wedding. In fact, that's the only thing that a MOH has to do - make it to the wedding in the proper dress. It's not required for her to come to showers or bachelorette parties or anything like that, and if you expect her to take multiple international trips in your honor, you are being crazy.

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• MollyandD member

  

  March 2014

  I'm in the same age group (25), and I haven't had that issue at all. I can't even remember the last time I argued with anyone. It might be your friends...

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• mmarie287 member

  

  March 2014

  Yeah I dont expect anything from her at all which is why I have 2 MOH and one here in NYC with me I just feel bad for my other MOH that has done such an amazing job. And i totally understood when she said she can only make it to the wedding. I guess a big part of it is being as flexible as I possible can which makes me even more upset when they come out with weird little rants to me. BC the sane ones are always telling me how much of a laid back bride i am being. which is what i want to be and striving to be but some are taking advantage. . .
  

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• Vivandiere8 member

  

  March 2014

  I haven't had this problem at all, but at the same time I've had other friends who told me about all the family and friend drama that seemed to come out of no where when they got engaged.
  
  My one friend seemed to figure out that in the end there were a lot of jealousy issues. It really is a case by case thing and I don't know your situation, but in our culture there is always this dream that the period of engagement, marriage, and months right after are some of the very best, and happiest moments of a person's life. I think because of this some times single friends feel some resentment, and perhaps panic thinking they may never have that, or feeling they shouldn't be still waiting for it. And then some people who have been married for years but either didn't get the "wedding of their dreams", or are unhappily married feel like they have to ruin yours. That's where comments like "Why are you bothering with a fancy wedding? You will get divorced in a few years anyway" come from.
  
  The only thing you can really do is ignore the trouble makers. Some times big events like weddings just being to light who is drifting out of your life, and who is here for the long run.
  

  
  

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• Marzipan13 member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  I know one of my friends is going wedding-crazy (she went to school for event planning & is the last girl in our circle to not be engaged = bad combo), and another friend has started to look at her relationship with her boyfriend more seriously & consider if it's long-term or not.  Other than that, everyone's been really supportive and cool about it... sadly, I think it's just your friends being nasty  I hope things get better!
  
  Edited: spacing

  

  
  

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