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How to accommodate BMs of different builds (bride needs advice)

ksn1989ksn1989 member
in Moms and Maids
Hello Everyone! 
I've been trying to get some help on how to support and encourage one of my bridesmaids who is plus size. I chose all of my bridesmaids based on how much I love them and now my great friend is getting cold feet because she doesn't want to be the "fat bridesmaid" as she puts it. She has recently sent me articles/blogs posted by plus size women about their woes of being the bigger bridesmaid. She and I met at fitness camp and she has been the one friend who has really stuck with me while I lost 100 lbs... we both know what it is like to be self conscious about our weight and therefore I really want to make sure I find a dress that suits her body that she feels comfortable in. Many people have said that I should pick out a dress with her depending on what she feels comfortable with and then my other 3 bridesmaids can just go along.... I have also considered getting 4 different dresses (made of the same fabric and same color- yellow) that suit each of my ladies' needs. She is comfortable discussing this all with me but I don't want to put her on the spot with other people around. I know she would want something with a bit more coverage around the arms. I have been searching and searching for a store (or dress company) that has a wide range of options for different body types and haven't been that successful. 
I know it's my day but I want my ladies to be up there standing proud and comfortable with me (I know if the tables were turned and I had to wear a dress I didn't feel comfortable in, my night would be ruined).

Does anyone have any words of wisdom, store recommendations... anything?! 
Perhaps another bride (or groom) has done this successfully and would like to share their secrets?
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Re: How to accommodate BMs of different builds (bride needs advice)

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    jacsquaredjacsquared member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    I would go with the 4 different dresses option, letting each BM pick their own dress.  Regardless of size, you're always going to have the issue of what that flatters one person might not flatter another.  If you pick a dress that she likes, there's a good chance that one of the other BMs isn't going to feel comfortable in it.

    I noticed that Alfred Angelo and David's Bridal both carry many of their BM dresses in plus size, and a lot of their dresses are available in the full range of sizes, but I don't recall either store having dresses with much coverage around the arms.  Maybe your ladies could wear a bolero over one of the AA or DB dresses?  My local Dress Barn tends to have a good selection of dresses available in both regular and plus sizes, but very little in yellow.
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    Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Give them a fabric and color, and let them shop on their own.
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    MamaAlly89MamaAlly89 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper

    I have a very wide range of body types with my bridesmaids as well. When it was time to decide what they wanted to wear I brought my sister with me would is the most self conscious out of all my girls. We went to davids bridal simply because that is where I purchased my dress. They had a really great selection for plus size women! All of their dresses come in a wide range of sizes so the plus sizes girls get to have great dresses too. I also liked that you could pretty much just pick a color and they would show you all the dresses available in that color. That way if you want all different dresses it would be easy to do. Going into dress shopping I thought we would all go with different dresses but once my sister tried on this one dress I fell in love and it looked Amazing on everyone!!! So shop around you might be surprised what you discover.

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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2014
    Alfred Angelos and David's can order plus size dresses, but you should call before you go there to make sure they will have dresses in the store for her to try on. Then visit the store with her, alone, the first time. I would pick a color and length and let each bm choose the style of her dress. 

    There's a plus size forum on TK. The brides over there may have some suggestions for you. http://forums.theknot.com/categories/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized
                       
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    sockmisersockmiser member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    I wanted my ladies to feel just as beautiful in their dresses as I do in mine. Plus, do to a range of body types and financial status, I gave my girls a range of colors off of paint chips color some basic rules, (about knee length and the girls can't hang out.) them let them go from there. I have to say that they pick some beautiful dresses. Of course, this means giving up most of your control over bridesmaid dresses. But if you trust your girls and are really concerned about their comfort it is an option. 
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    melbensomelbenso member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    One of my bridesmaids is plus sized, and had gastric sleeve surgery a little over a year ago, so she also has loose skin from her drastic weight loss that she is self conscious about.  Rather than pick one dress for all of my bridesmaids, I picked a color and let them each pick whatever dress they wanted in that color. 

    I would avoid picking a short dress, if you are picking a length as well as a color.  There is a good chance that she won't be comfortable in it.  My friend tried on a tea length dress and was ok with it, but was incredibly uncomfortable in the shorter dresses and really preferred the long ones.  Also, encourage her to try on different fabrics and styles.  Originally, my friend gravitated towards the flowey chiffon dresses because she felt they covered her up.  But once she tried on a few more structured, satin dresses she decided she liked them better because they defined her shape rather than making her look like "a lumpy column" as she called it.  If you want all the dresses in the same fabric, let her pick her dress (or at least the fabric style she feels most comfortable in) first and then have all the other bridesmaids match that fabric.

    I'm not sure where you are dress shopping, but this is the dress my friend decided on: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Satin-Pleated-Bodice-Ball-Gown-F15554_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-All-Bridesmaid-Dresses  The structure around the waist/bodice is really flattering and made her waist look really tiny.  Another one of my bridesmaids (not plus sized, but definitely on the curvier side) is also getting it because "it made her look and feel thin."

    My friend and I also met with the head of the alterations department at the bridal store when we went shopping.  The alterations lady was able to answer her questions about adding straps, etc. to a dress if she wanted and it made her feel more comfortable about ordering.  She also got a timeline for the latest she could order and get the alterations she wanted done, which was important to her because her weight is still changing pretty quickly because of the surgery.


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    vmj23vmj23 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I would let them pick their own dresses within a certain color. 
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    Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I agree with all the PP that said 4 different dresses. That is the best way to go to make everyone feel beautiful and comfortable! Tell them the color, material and length and let them have at it!

    DB has a few coverage options -shrugs in both satin and chiffon- that one or all the BMs can purchase for some extra coverage! 

    I would assume other companies also have wraps and shrugs with colors that match their dresses.
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    MadHops21MadHops21 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I have tall and thin, average and big-boobed, short and round, and sizes just all over the board. I'm picking a color and fabric, then letting them go nuts.

    It's better when they each choose their own because what might look cute on one BM may not compliment another's body. 
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    CLoGreenEyesCLoGreenEyes member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper

    I agree with everyone above; pick a color and a fabric, and let them choose the rest. Even just give your bridesmaids a color scheme to stick to (my friend did turquoise, taupe, and dark yellow), and just go shopping one day as normal and let them choose. You're an awesome friend for making sure consider your friend's comfort in this. :)

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    lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In my personal experience, yellow is a very difficult color for a lot of people to wear. If you're open to it I would suggest having each woman choose a black dress from any department store. Black tends to be flattering on everyone.
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