honeymoon registry

thomasd8 · October 2013

hello,

I'm just wondering if anyone has used a honeymoon registry website and your thoughts on it?

BNJ810 · October 2013

Senecaf · October 2013

I've seen them but I'm not a fan. I can see why they are popular, I just don't feel it's polite.

ohoymate · October 2013

AprilH81 · October 2013

When I first heard about them I was excited, but then I started doing some research and quickly changed my mind.

I'm not a fan since it deceives the gift givers. They don't actually "buy" you the beach dinner or parasailing excursion they think they are. You get a check, minus the website's fees, and you have to book the excursion yourself.

It really is just a glorified way of asking for money (which is rude) and everyone knows that cash is always welcome as a gift.

I would suggest doing some more research (yes, the etiquette and registry boards have long threads on this that might be helpful) before you make your final decision.

photokitty · October 2013

My thoughts are I would never use a honeymoon registry, as a bride or as a guest. Everyone knows that cash is always useful and appreciated. If you want cash, set up a small registry or none at all. Sone people will want to buy you physical gifts regardless, so having a snsll registry will reduce the likelihood of randomly chosen gifts. Honeymoon registries suck bc of the hidden fees. I would be super ticked if i bought a couples massage only to find out the bride and groom got a credit on their bill that was less than what i actually paid. Just tell people wgen they ask, we are saving for _______ (house, car, big screen, honeymoon), that's perfectly acceptable. but i can't recommend the use of honeymoon registries, they are tacky. Sorry. GL!

ninamethew83 · October 2013

I like the concept of honeymoon registry. If a person has all the things related to house , kitchen and other, then he/she can register for it. A honeymoon registry is getting so much popularity nowadays. People register for honeymoon funds, hotel packages, cosmetics, robes, spa offers and many things. It is the best way if you want to ask for money gifts. Here is the list of things which you can include in the honeymoon registry.

photokitty · October 2013

Sorry. There is no polite way to register for money or gift cards. Popular things are not the same as polite ones. The fees alone should deter you from using them. if you don't need household goods~ don't register! and then when people ask where you are registered, tell them you are saving up for a house or the honeymoon Or whatever you are saving up for. Honeymoon registries are tacky, just say no to them

GL!

ellif · November 2013

We had created a honeymoon registry with our wishing well at the time of wedding . and really had a great experience with this. DH and I were living together and had everything in home my friend had suggested me to have a honeymoon registry. I think it is a great concept.

livinlavida123 · January 2014

If you have a travel agent, see if they will do one for you. We set up a really small registry at a store, but we're going for the honeymoon registry. Our travel agent is doing it for no service fee, so my mom and his mom will direct people to call her if they ask for ideas. We've picked out some things we'd like to experience while there so she can help them "shop" for the contribution, and she'll actually book it for us and give them a certificate to include with their card that will tell us their contribution and also that it has already been booked!

cbusbride92714 · March 2014

We will definitely be using the honeymoon registry! I think it's a fabulous idea! I think as a guest I would love to buy my friends a couple's massage or an awesome excursion to enjoy on their honeymoon! For us, we are only putting a few things on there and we are picking the things that we actually DO want to do, so whatever the guests choose to get us---we will definitely us the money for it!

These days with weddings, really anything goes. You know your guests--so just do what YOU think is right and don't stress about what people try to tell you is right or wrong

misspuppychow · March 2014

I'm torn on the concept. I did find a website that does a honeymoon registry and does not charge you fees, which is nice. He's been married before and we both had our own places for quite a while and we already own a home so we really don't need anything.

I know some people don't like to just give cash because they want to feel like they're giving you something and the honeymoon registry allows you to get cash while allowing your guests to think they're buying you something. But again, they aren't actually buying you anything and they really are just giving you cash... and asking for cash is tacky...

I just have a lot of guests who I know are just going to pick me something out themselves if I don't do a registry and then I'll end up with a bunch of stuff I don't want....

photokitty · March 2014

Everyone knows cash is always appropriate, appreciated and often preferred - literally everyone on earth knows this!

Some people will want to get you a physical gift - these are not the people who use HM registries. The people who use HM registries are people who would give you a check, but instead think that you will receive the FULL amount they gift you. You you will ACTUALLY receive that massage, not a credit on your bill and if you decide you can get the massage or take the excursion.

For our wedding the gifts broke down like this: 75% cash or check, 20% gift cards and 5% physical gifts.

If you want money or don't need anything don't register. This is the best way to politely suggest folks give you money. I'm telling you from experience.

A HM is not polite, sorry. There is nothing wrong with saying, when asked where you are registered, we are saving up for the honeymoon (or house or big screen TV or whatever it is you'd like to purchase). GL!

cbusbride92714 said:

We will definitely be using the honeymoon registry! I think it's a fabulous idea! I think as a guest I would love to buy my friends a couple's massage or an awesome excursion to enjoy on their honeymoon! For us, we are only putting a few things on there and we are picking the things that we actually DO want to do, so whatever the guests choose to get us---we will definitely us the money for it!

These days with weddings, really anything goes. You know your guests--so just do what YOU think is right and don't stress about what people try to tell you is right or wrong

The problem with HMRs is that you guests don't actually buy you a massage or excursion. The resort or travel agent cuts you a check MINUS a fee and then you decide if you actually get that massage or excursion. It is deceitful. The giver unknowingly pays a fee and thinks you will actually get a certificate for the "item" they bought - this is not how it works. Perhaps you will actually do those things, but your guest still ends up paying a 5-10% fee. I have never seen a site that didn't charge a fee and would be concerned it was scam. There are several thread about cash and HM registries on the "registering & gifts" forum that have frantic brides trying to get their money from a company months later, some never get it.

"Theses days anything goes" - so being rude is now acceptable in 2014?? Good to know. You will have guests who are offended by a HMR - they just probably aren't rude enough to tell you - bc not everyone thinks anything goes and they have to throw manners out the window and therefore will not tell you how rude they find it that you are begging for money. If you want a HM pay for one you can afford.

You should take in to account ("stress") that we are a bunch of strangers who will tell your the truth bc your friends and family don't want to tell you to your face that what you are doing is not polite. You are feel to ignore proper etiquette, but you might want to look up the threads stating how poster's moms and grandmas actually reduce the amount of their gift when there is a HMR bc they find it offensive. This is not something a few people are making up to rain on your parade.

saacjw · March 2014

photokitty said:

Everyone knows cash is always appropriate, appreciated and often preferred - literally everyone on earth knows this!
Some people will want to get you a physical gift - these are not the people who use HM registries. The people who use HM registries are people who would give you a check, but instead think that you will receive the FULL amount they gift you. You you will ACTUALLY receive that massage, not a credit on your bill and if you decide you can get the massage or take the excursion.

For our wedding the gifts broke down like this: 75% cash or check, 20% gift cards and 5% physical gifts.
If you want money or don't need anything don't register. This is the best way to politely suggest folks give you money. I'm telling you from experience.

A HM is not polite, sorry. There is nothing wrong with saying, when asked where you are registered, we are saving up for the honeymoon (or house or big screen TV or whatever it is you'd like to purchase). GL!

cbusbride92714 said:

We will definitely be using the honeymoon registry! I think it's a fabulous idea! I think as a guest I would love to buy my friends a couple's massage or an awesome excursion to enjoy on their honeymoon! For us, we are only putting a few things on there and we are picking the things that we actually DO want to do, so whatever the guests choose to get us---we will definitely us the money for it!

These days with weddings, really anything goes. You know your guests--so just do what YOU think is right and don't stress about what people try to tell you is right or wrong

The problem with HMRs is that you guests don't actually buy you a massage or excursion. The resort or travel agent cuts you a check MINUS a fee and then you decide if you actually get that massage or excursion. It is deceitful. The giver unknowingly pays a fee and thinks you will actually get a certificate for the "item" they bought - this is not how it works. Perhaps you will actually do those things, but your guest still ends up paying a 5-10% fee. I have never seen a site that didn't charge a fee and would be concerned it was scam. There are several thread about cash and HM registries on the "registering & gifts" forum that have frantic brides trying to get their money from a company months later, some never get it.

"Theses days anything goes" - so being rude is now acceptable in 2014?? Good to know. You will have guests who are offended by a HMR - they just probably aren't rude enough to tell you - bc not everyone thinks anything goes and they have to throw manners out the window and therefore will not tell you how rude they find it that you are begging for money. If you want a HM pay for one you can afford.

You should take in to account ("stress") that we are a bunch of strangers who will tell your the truth bc your friends and family don't want to tell you to your face that what you are doing is not polite. You are feel to ignore proper etiquette, but you might want to look up the threads stating how poster's moms and grandmas actually reduce the amount of their gift when there is a HMR bc they find it offensive. This is not something a few people are making up to rain on your parade.

So very much this. I had a friend who did a HMR and I found out later that they didn't get the entire present. I was really disappointed because I would have just given them cash instead, but literally thought that they would go to the hotel and get a gift certificate saying "your dinner at this restaurant has been booked." Aside from all of the etiquette things @photokitty brought up, which I agree with, I think they're a rip off and as a guest have been really disappointed with them and so was my friend who used it.

cbusbride92714 · March 2014

Thanks Photokitty, but I wasn't asking for your commentary on my decision to use a Honeymoon Registry. I was offering my opinion to Thomasd8 who originally posted and asked for feedback.

Also, I find the tone of your post to be pretty rude and condescending. I didn't ask for your approval, and the intent of this forum isn't to cut down other brides for the choices they have made and then berate them until you feel like you have proven your point and "won" the battle. Taking everything you said into account- I am still going forward with a Honeymoon registry.

My travel Agent set this up for me, at no fee---and no money will be taken out as a fee ( I have read the contract several times, as well as my fiance who is an attorney). Also, we are only registering for two excursions and one dinner, which we were planning to book in the first place and will definitely be using whether or not someone chooses to buy it for us. So if my sister goes on-line and buys us an excursion, we will most definitely be doing that excursion on our trip. You can pick and choose how much or little you register for. Example: We probably wouldn't do a couples massage, so I took it off of the registry.

Again, for all the brides posting on here--it is their wedding and it's their choice to make on what they would like to do. These forums are great for providing a sounding board for those who ASK for help, but if a bride simply states her opinion to the poster who again is ASKING for feedback--it really shouldn't open them up to another bride specifically trying to call them out and make them feel wrong for a choice they already made.

Thanks.

AprilH81 · March 2014

cbusbride92714 said:

Thanks Photokitty, but I wasn't asking for your commentary on my decision to use a Honeymoon Registry. I was offering my opinion to Thomasd8 who originally posted and asked for feedback.

Also, I find the tone of your post to be pretty rude and condescending. I didn't ask for your approval, and the intent of this forum isn't to cut down other brides for the choices they have made and then berate them until you feel like you have proven your point and "won" the battle. Taking everything you said into account- I am still going forward with a Honeymoon registry.

My travel Agent set this up for me, at no fee---and no money will be taken out as a fee ( I have read the contract several times, as well as my fiance who is an attorney). Also, we are only registering for two excursions and one dinner, which we were planning to book in the first place and will definitely be using whether or not someone chooses to buy it for us. So if my sister goes on-line and buys us an excursion, we will most definitely be doing that excursion on our trip. You can pick and choose how much or little you register for. Example: We probably wouldn't do a couples massage, so I took it off of the registry.

Again, for all the brides posting on here--it is their wedding and it's their choice to make on what they would like to do. These forums are great for providing a sounding board for those who ASK for help, but if a bride simply states her opinion to the poster who again is ASKING for feedback--it really shouldn't open them up to another bride specifically trying to call them out and make them feel wrong for a choice they already made.

Thanks.

No most of us are here to keep brides from being poor hosts/hostesses by treating their guests rudely. We aren't here to "support" each other with bad decisions.

photokitty · March 2014

cbusbride92714 Welcome to the world of internet forums where people are free to post and comment on whatever they please.

The point of this forum is to share information, and that is exactly what I did. If you don't want feedback (aka aren't ASKING for feedback) don't post your opinions and actions.

I will continue to point out why HMR are in poor form so that lurkers and other posters understand that they run a high risk of insulting and offending their guests. Registering for cash is rude.

I'm not trying to berate you or win anything, I'm just trying to counter act your bad advice so that people don't assume that HMR are polite.

As I said before - we are strangers on the internet, it's no skin off my nose if you have a HMR. But I along with countless others find them offensive. If you choose to risk offending your guests, that's your call. But I'm not going to validate choices that go against etiquette. I was merely pointing this out to others who will come upon this thread.

You are free to ignore proper etiquette. However, once you invite others to YOUR day, it ceases to be YOUR day. I find your tone to be a few things as well, but it would be rude of me to point them out. If you don't want comments or feedback on your choices - don't post them. It's that simple.

GL!

HAMO · March 2014

We used honeyfund.com and loved it.. got many compliments!!! I just did the free options.. then maybe paid $15 to upgrade with some pics eventually.... many guests commented on how cool it was to have that.. all they did was go to our registry and print a certificate and give the cash or check in the card with the certificate.. no money was passed or paid to honeyfund... it was very simple

.. and made it nice to write the thank yous... my husband and I thought about each person when we ordered/bought the items the people had technically bought for us... you could even take a pic to go with it... lol.... happy planning!

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