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Chit Chat

Wedding preview

pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
edited March 2014 in Chit Chat
I had a nice preview of what it will be like when our invites go out. So my mom called me a little while ago to tell me that she and my dad were invited to my cousins wedding, and she wanted to know if I wanted to go, or if FI and I would be going. I told her that I was pretty sure I wasn't invited. So my mom said "Yea, but we were. So you can come." Oh for the love of.... I explained to my mom that unless my name was explicitly on the invitation I was not, in fact invited. Plus, my name should not have even been on their invitation, I should have received my own, and I was 98% sure I did not get one being that my cousin texted me to ask for their address and did not ask for mine. So my mom said that my cousin probably thinks I still live at home with them. Again. I told her that I was pretty sure my cousin knew I no longer lived at home being that it has been over 5 years since I lived at home, and even if she thought such a thing, I still should have received my own invitation addressed to my FI and I. My mom then said,  "Well the invitation was addressed to [Dad's name] and family. In the Latino culture, that means the whole household is invited." No.... just no.

I then spent the next few minutes telling my mom how invitations should be sent and worded. I told her that if my cousin did intend for me to be there I should have received my own invitation, and that I would not be attending unless I received an invitation. Mind you, the wedding is at the end of the month. I went to her younger sister's wedding like 5 or 6 years ago, and I remember it had a cash bar which ended up running out early. Fun! My mom said she thinks it is at the same place, so I am not exactly upset that I was not invited.

This is exactly what I am worried about with our wedding, that our families may have this same mentality. My mom was just going to write in our names on the RSVP. Sigh. Oh the fun....
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Re: Wedding preview

  • That sounds like it's going to be tough.  I imagine writing how many seats have been reserved on your RSVPs might save you a few headaches, although your cousin really contributed to the confusion by putting "and family" if she just wanted to invite your parents (Or do you have younger siblings that live with them?)  
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  • I'm not Latino but I read "and family" to mean the children are invited. Husband and wife is not a family. However, if she wrote "the so and so family" on the outer envelope, then it sounds like she didn't address the invitations properly so who knows if you are invited or not.
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  • Oh god... FMIL pushed for me to address invites as "Mr. And Mrs. and Family" or "The Blank Family". When I told her no, that it would be confusing and that's just wrong, she got really angry. My invitations girl (making my invitations) agreed with me that it's more polite and formal to list exactly who is invited and not do "the blank family" when only Mr and Mrs are really invited. I mentioned this and FMIL went on a huge streak about how addressing things has not changed over the years, she's always done it that way, I am crazy and being extremely rude to her guests... Blah blah.

    Good luck with all of YOUR invites, and keep that phone close for extra RSVPers!

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  • Yea it is definitely gonna be tough. I could understand addressing the invites "and family" if I still lived with my parents. But it just makes it more confusing now. Does that include me? And if so, does it include my FI? And @haileydancingbear, I don't have any siblings. @sbmini good point, I didn't ask how the putter envelope was addressed. My mom said she was going to call my aunt to clarify. Although I'm pretty sure I was not invited being that my cousin only asked for my parents address. But who knows, maybe they assumed they invited me. Yea, my cousin did not help the confusion at all lol. And I'll make sure FI have out phone close for any extra RSVP's!
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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    My partner and I are not married yet, but we consider ourselves to be a family, just as his family considers me family and my family considers him family. I totally agree with @hisgirlfriday13.

    I always took "Person and Person and Family" to mean "couple plus kids," but from what I've heard, it's not good for invitations because people will interpret it too broadly.

    So it's totally cool to send a holiday card to "The SoandSo Family" or "Person and Person and Family" since the sentiment can easily be spread to touch everyone's hearts without also costing you another plate. In contrast, if you sent an invitation to my mom and her boyfriend "and family," they wouldn't know if you meant her family, his family, or both. Or if you sent one to my future in-law's, they might think you're inviting them, their children and children's spouses, and Grandpa.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  •  We had a spot to fill in how many people were able to attend on each r.s.v.p. We didn't have anyone add more than were invited, but at least if it's there & they do add on whoever you didn't invite, you'll have the heads up before hand to make some phone calls. 

     We also had a similar invite situation not long ago. My H's cousin is getting married at the end of June, & recently sent save-the-dates. No one has received invitations yet, but my H and I never received a save-the-date. No biggie. Except his mom was like convinced we'd *all* be invited, and her save-the-date was for the family. Nope, don't think so. If we're invited, especially considering we're married and live together, I'm sure we'll receive our own invitation. I just don't get the confusion! :P

     *J 
  • I would take and family to be family living in the home. Too vauge for me. I once received an invite addressed to "Senecaf and all her peeps"
  • I, too, would assume anyone living in the house.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I'm not Latino but I read "and family" to mean the children are invited. Husband and wife is not a family. However, if she wrote "the so and so family" on the outer envelope, then it sounds like she didn't address the invitations properly so who knows if you are invited or not.
    I disagree with the sweeping generality of this statement. DH and I absolutely are a family, just the two of us. In terms of an invitation, it should be addressed to us by name, not 'The DHFirstName LastName Family,' (as should any invitation to anyone), but a husband and wife are a family.
    It wasn't addressed that way, so we're all just reading into what one person meant. That said, if you are addressing an invitation to people with children and those children aren't invited- you shouldn't put "and family" on the invitation. I feel a lot of people will assume that means the kids are invited, as they are part of the family. 
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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2014
    Senecaf said:
    I would take and family to be family living in the home. Too vauge for me. I once received an invite addressed to "Senecaf and all her peeps"
    Wow lmao. I consider a lot of people my "peeps", would that mean I could bring  them all? Talk about a broad invitation! 

    Yea, I assume it would be anyone living in the home, which is what I told my mom. That's why invitations should be properly addressed. Because my mom is under the impression that I am invited, and I am under the impression that I am not. I spoke with another cousin about it and she thinks that I am invited because the invite said "and family" and she assumes that is how our family would word things. But being that I don't live  with them, I am under the assumption that I am not invited. To me, "and family" would mean everyone in the household. I'll just wait and see what my aunt says in this regard. 
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  • SBminiSBmini member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited March 2014
    Senecaf said:
    I would take and family to be family living in the home. Too vauge for me. I once received an invite addressed to "Senecaf and all her peeps"
    Reminds me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ycg8HVIYy8
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  • SenecafSenecaf member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2014
    I've never seen that show! Funny

    Turns out the invite was for my "family"-FI, kids and myself. BUT ALSO my younger brother and Dad and his wife. What?
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