How to differentiate her bridesmaids from mine?

LadyMorvenMacBeth · March 2014

My FI and I are both having both men and women in our wedding party. The three bridesmen are wearing kilts, all with my tartan (since my brother obviously has the same tartan, and her bridesmen are Danish, so don't have a tartan) all with jacobite/ghillie shirt, my brother bridesman having a dark blue one, whilst her bridesmen are having red ones.

The problem is this, we don't know how we should separate her bridesmaids from mine. They are all wearing saris, and we only have light colours left in our colour scheme, and we've never seen a light coloured sari before, and are not sure if that'd look okay, especially with one of my BMs having acid green hair. So we were thinking of having them all in gold (since FI will probably have gold in her sari, though it's not in our scheme), but then they'd all be wearing the same thing, and we want it to be obvious that they're not on the same side, as it were.

So, we're not really sure what to do. Any ideas?

[Deleted User] · March 2014

First you BM with the acid green hair, does she change her color frequently or is that a color she has had for a long time? Reason I'm asking is one of my BM has fun changing her color around a lot & at times she even has the color fading is it looks like flames. It's actually pretty cool. But she decided (I didn't ask) that for my wedding to dye it a more normal hair color (a nice dark alburn color). Shortly after she colored it again...lol. If she changes color regularly, I wouldn't focus too much on her hair color then. But if she doesn't you may want to ask her for help. If she has had that hair color for a while, she knows exactley what colors compliment it and what colors make it look bold.

Once you have that part figured out, then find two colors of sari's that compliment each other. You may have a variety of colors in your wedding between the two sides. As long as they colors go well together you'll be fine. With the sari's maybe you can do the same color but slightly different shades to show a difference or just different flower colors?

QueerFemme · March 2014

I would maybe do different bouquets. Also, they'll be standing on different sides, so I think that will be enough to tell who's side they are on.

STARMOON44 · March 2014

You're wearing blue and she's in red right? I'm not sure I love the visual of 2 more colors on top of those and plaid. I'd put yours in blue saris (since I think you aren't wearing one?) and hers in gold (since red with gold is traditionally bridal) and skip other colors entirely. Blue+ red+gold+tartan is enough variety.

doeydo · March 2014

Light coloured saris:
https://www.google.ca/search?q=light+coloured+saris&rlz=1C1TSCD_enCA501CA501&espv=210&es_sm=93&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=v90ZU_j-KsXs2QXb5IHICQ&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1366&bih=667
Scottish and Indian weddings including both tartans and saris:
http://www.lovemydress.net/blog/2012/07/indian-scottish-deaf-wedding.html#more
http://blog.ananyacards.com/2012/07/27/stirling-castle/

Also, I wouldn't even think about the one BM's hair colour because it doesn't matter.

SBmini · March 2014

Ok, back up. First, I have no idea what is going on in the first paragraph. You mention your bridesmen and your brother's bridesmen and three different colors. I don't understand who is standing where.

Secondly, can you explain the saris? I understand the kits but I'm not seeing where the saris come in. This is sounding a bit like a cultural clash from an attire standpoint.

My recommendation is to pick a secondary color within each tartan and find dresses in that color.

LadyMorvenMacBeth · March 2014

@Erikan73 My BM with acid green hair has been dying her hair green since she was 14, but it differs in the shade of green from time to time .

@QueerFemme We're not having bouquets.

@STARMOON44 The tartan is blue and red, so I'm not worried about having too many colours, to be honest.

@SBmini My brother is MY bridesman. My FI also has two bridesmen. My brother is wearing a blue shirt, my FI's bridesmen are wearing red shirts. They are all wearing my tartan, because my brother and I have the same tartan, and FI's bridesmen don't have a tartan, since they're Danish.

My FI is a Danish Hindu of fully Indian descent, that's why she and all the bridesmaids are wearing saris. I am Scottish, hence the kilts.

The tartan's only secondary colour is yellow, which we don't want to use, and since it's the same tartan, there's only one secondary colour, so they'd all be wearing the same colour sari, which is basically what we're trying to avoid.

SBmini · March 2014

Got it! Thanks so much for clarifying. I would look for light colored saris- and your side have blue accents and herside red. That way, they go with the guys shirts. If either of you are wearing white, the girls can be in champaign or similar so you stand out from them.

princessleia22 · March 2014

LadyMorvenMacBeth said:

@Erikan73 My BM with acid green hair has been dying her hair green since she was 14, but it differs in the shade of green from time to time .
@QueerFemme We're not having bouquets.
@STARMOON44 The tartan is blue and red, so I'm not worried about having too many colours, to be honest.

@SBmini My brother is MY bridesman. My FI also has two bridesmen. My brother is wearing a blue shirt, my FI's bridesmen are wearing red shirts. They are all wearing my tartan, because my brother and I have the same tartan, and FI's bridesmen don't have a tartan, since they're Danish.

My FI is a Danish Hindu of fully Indian descent, that's why she and all the bridesmaids are wearing saris. I am Scottish, hence the kilts.

The tartan's only secondary colour is yellow, which we don't want to use, and since it's the same tartan, there's only one secondary colour, so they'd all be wearing the same colour sari, which is basically what we're trying to avoid.

So, it sounds like your bridesmen are wearing blue and FI's bridesmen are wearing red (at least for shirt color). Why not have the bridesmaids do the same, blue for your side and red for hers? That way they match the bridesmen on that side also.

Or you could always just put them all in same thing, not worry about distinguishing one side from the other, and just say that after the wedding, you are one family anyway so it doesn't really matter.

LadyMorvenMacBeth · March 2014

@nicoann I'm wearing blue and FI is wearing red, so we can't have them in blue and red.

princessleia22 · March 2014

Maybe put them all in gold with red & blue accents to distinguish which side they are on. Maybe something similar to this, where its primarily gold, then do with red accent for FI side and blue for your side?

STARMOON44 · March 2014

Why can't you have them in lighter shades of blue and red or in different patterned saris in blue and red but visually different from you?

Saris are available in any color you want, and they certainly come in lighter colors.

Or if you really love the look of lots of color, what about letting them all pick whatever color they like the most? They don't have to be color coordinated.

QueerFemme · March 2014

I do like the idea of them all in gold. I think it will look pretty. I'm not super familiar with Saris, but can you use an accent sash or maybe even a broach? Like, where the Sari comes over the shoulder or at the waist, maybe get a colorful broach to pin on there?

QueerFemme · March 2014

Like these... red for your FI's BMs and blue for yours.

SBmini · March 2014

If you are wearing blue and red, when maybe have the bridesmaids in mostly white with blue and red accents. Like this:

Also, as a note, it sounds like you have a lot of color going on. I would suggest you consider having the men in white shirts if you and your FI will be wearing bold colors. I think elements of white in the wedding party will help mellow out the bold colors, and be a very nice switch on tradition.

QueerFemme · March 2014

For what it's worth, I don't agree with Sbmini on the bold colors needing to be mellowed out. I think it's going to look fabulous.

OliveOilsMom · March 2014

How traditional are you going with the kilts? I ask because my friends ex was Scottish. He would occasionally wear his kilt to formal events with a tucked in button down shirt and tie. And no jacket. This always looked really nice. Could you do white button down shirts for the bridesmen and just give them red/blue ties to signal which side they were on.

Then for the ladies, you could do similar to the picture above with the gold saris, but have each side's BMs wear a red or blue shirt underneath, with the gold sari. (I know the ternimology probably isn't shirt, so forgive me on that.)

saacjw · March 2014

I think you can really easily find light colored saris- I've seen really pretty gold ones, white ones, etc. Since you can get them in any color ever, don't rule it out.

I desperately want to see pictures of your wedding when it's over. It sounds awesome.

LadyMorvenMacBeth · March 2014

My BM with the acid green hair says she looks horrendous in gold, so that's all gold ruled out completely. Shame, the idea was beginning to grow on me. ANYWAY, we're thinking of going for, as @SBmini suggested, white and red sari's for FI's bridesmaids and white and dark blue sari's for my bridesmaids OR having FI's bridesmaids in a very, very light green (the colour we;'re looking at is almost white) and having her bridesmen's shirts the same colour, and having my bridesmaids in a very light blue, and having my brother's shirt the same colour.

@OliveOilsMom We're kind of leaving the traditionalness of the kilts up to the bridesmen to be honest. We want them in jacobite shirts:

and we are picking the colour, but as for jackets and such, we're kind of letting them do as they please. I imagine they'll probably want to wear some kind of jacket though, since we're getting married very early in the morning, so it'll probably be rather cold.

SBmini · March 2014

I hate it when a person in the bridal party tries to dictate colors. To be completely frank here- they don't get a say. It's one thing if they feel uncomfortable in a garment (i.e too short, not enough coverage up top) but to x-nay an entire color because a bridesmaid doesn't like it isn't fair to you. She gets to make those decisions when she gets married, not when you do.

LadyMorvenMacBeth · March 2014

@SBmimi I don't like gold, to be honest, though. We were only going to go for gold if ALL the BMs liked it. Plus, fair enough if a person simply doesn't like a colour, but she actually looks horrendous in gold. I don't want my bridesmaids to look horrendous.

How to differentiate her bridesmaids from mine?

Re: How to differentiate her bridesmaids from mine?

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