First dance--before or after dinner?

aggie0812 · March 2014

I know this question has already been asked a while back...
In my case, fiancé and I don't know what to do or what is "appropriate," it's kind of a big toss up right now. We (think we) see pros and cons to having it before or after dinner, so just wondering what you did and why.

Here are some facts that may help our decision, maybe...if you know anything about this and what's appropriate given our reception, please share what you think!
-Southern
-Large Hispanic family
-Ceremony will be full Catholic mass
-Reception ~5 hours total, with 15 min cocktail drinks before intros, followed by dinner

Thoughts?

KittyKaty20 · March 2014

We haven't fully decided, but this is what we are leaning towards:

Cocktail hour starts while we finish pictures (Catholic Church ceremony; reception site is 2.5 miles away) with BP, immediate family, at church.

BP introduced, B&G introduced (same upbeat song, nothing too crazy)

We do our First Dance (about a minute/minute 1/2) and transition into an upbeat dance song while BP encourages everybody to dance with us.

Mingle & munch for a bit, then move on to the rest of reception.

My FI is a little wary of the attention on him, so we are trying to break up the "spotlight" activities into smaller chunks. We'll do father-daughter, mother-son, etc dances later.

Maggie0829 · March 2014

We had all of our spotlight dances (first dance, mother/son, father/daughter) before dinner was served. I think it took at the most 15 minutes for all dances to be done, probably closer to 12 minutes.

We did it this way so that once dinner was over and table visits complete the party could get started and not be interrupted by any spot light stuff.

emmyg65 · March 2014

Our wedding was more of a backyard party than a traditional, structured wedding. Dinner was already set up as soon as our ceremony was over, and we only had one very brief toast. It went like this:

Ceremony

Dinner

Toast

Cake cutting and serving

First dance

Dancing

I liked having distinct moods (meaningful ceremony, chill dinner, crazy dancing). I also wasn't keen on the first dance and only did it to open the dance floor. So it wouldn't have made sense to do it first. Plus, we DJ'ed ourselves and it was easier to just create two playlists, one for dinner and one for dancing.

LondonLisa · March 2014

There are two places people often do the first dance:

1.) after the announcement of the couple, straight into the first dance, and then dinner

2.) after dinner and toasts to open the dance floor

Both can be really nice, but I prefer the second one just because in my mind it signals it is dance time. However, I have seen it done both ways and there is really no right or wrong one.

Cookie Pusher · March 2014

Our wedding timeline is pretty non-traditional. We intend to be announced around halfway through the cocktail hour and will do the first dance. Guests can then dance or continue to eat through the rest of the cocktail hour while FI and I grab a few bites to eat, mingle with the guests, etc. At the end of cocktail hour, FI and I will change into cultural dress and perform a tea ceremony for our parents, after which we will proceed to do the parent dances. Dinner service begins immediately afterwards. All together, that puts our cocktail hour and spotlight activities at 90 minutes, but will be broken up out of necessity.

BlueBirdMB · March 2014

I like when everything is done before dinner. After dinner, I don't want to be interrupted- I just want to dance. We did what I've always seen, which was that we did the first dance at the very beginning of the reception to open the dance floor. We didn't do intros, but it would have been right after intros. If we had done spotlight dances, which we didn't, it would have been right after the first dance. After our first dance, we did the Horah, which really got every single guest dancing.

There is no right or wrong. Whatever you decide. We had stations, so it was less like true "dinner time". People danced throughout dinner, so it was good we did our first dance before dinner.

KatWAG · March 2014

We big our "grand" entrance, cut the cake and went right into our first dance. All of this took 5 minutes. We served our first course and then speeches started while guests were finishing up their soup/ salads and while the second course was being served. After dinner was done, adn while cake was being served, we had the father/ daughter and mother/ son dances. Then the dance floor was open.

casey8784 · March 2014

Ours is slightly different since we are having a traditional Jewish wedding, and i think this is our "schedule" so far:

introductions/grand entrance

first dance

Hora (since everyone will already be standing - hopefully?)

wine and bread blessings

cake cutting

dinner/toasts

parent/child dances while cake is served

we also plan on doing an anniversary dance...can't decide if we want to do it immediately after the parent/child dances, or if we want to have it later on into the reception...

ashleyep · March 2014

I think we are going to do our introductions, then the first dance, and then dinner. Our toasts will be when the salad is served, I think.

After dinner we'll do our parent dances to open the dance floor, and do the cake cutting somewhere in there as well.

MrsAitch · March 2014

LondonLisa said:

There are two places people often do the first dance:

1.) after the announcement of the couple, straight into the first dance, and then dinner
2.) after dinner and toasts to open the dance floor

Both can be really nice, but I prefer the second one just because in my mind it signals it is dance time. However, I have seen it done both ways and there is really no right or wrong one.

I agree, I like the first dance to "open the floor" to guests.

lyndausvi · March 2014

MrsAitch said:

show previous quotes

LondonLisa said:

There are two places people often do the first dance:

1.) after the announcement of the couple, straight into the first dance, and then dinner
2.) after dinner and toasts to open the dance floor

Both can be really nice, but I prefer the second one just because in my mind it signals it is dance time. However, I have seen it done both ways and there is really no right or wrong one.

I agree, I like the first dance to "open the floor" to guests.

We did our first dance after the intro. It did open the floor to dancing as there were people dancing in between courses.

Either is fine.

QueerFemme · March 2014

aggie0812 said:

I know this question has already been asked a while back...
In my case, fiancé and I don't know what to do or what is "appropriate," it's kind of a big toss up right now. We (think we) see pros and cons to having it before or after dinner, so just wondering what you did and why.

Here are some facts that may help our decision, maybe...if you know anything about this and what's appropriate given our reception, please share what you think!
-Southern
-Large Hispanic family
-Ceremony will be full Catholic mass
-Reception ~5 hours total, with 15 min cocktail drinks before intros, followed by dinner

Thoughts?

At every latin wedding I have ever been to, the first dance opens up the dance floor to all guests.

BlueBirdMB · March 2014

casey8784 said:

Ours is slightly different since we are having a traditional Jewish wedding, and i think this is our "schedule" so far:

introductions/grand entrance
first dance
Hora (since everyone will already be standing - hopefully?)
wine and bread blessings
cake cutting
dinner/toasts
parent/child dances while cake is served

we also plan on doing an anniversary dance...can't decide if we want to do it immediately after the parent/child dances, or if we want to have it later on into the reception…

We did an old fashioned first dance where everyone was asked to join us half way through. Everyone was standing then, and the Horah made even the few stragglers stand up.

We did the anniversary dance to give away the bouquet. It was one of my favorite parts of the reception and tons of people said that it was a much better way of giving away the bouquet since weddings are about marriage. The couple who won has been married 57 years, I believe.

lc07 · March 2014

I think it should be done before dinner. Technically, it's rude for other guests to dance before you've had your first dance. So if you get it out of the way right away your guests can dance between courses if they so wish without breaking "the rules".

theartistformerlyknownas · March 2014

I tend to make a lot of decisions based on when I'll get hungry. I get pretty 'hangry' otherwise and that's just not safe for anyone.

So after a full Catholic mass and pictures, even if your guests have been fed at cocktail hour, YOU'RE gonna be starving!

We'll be introduced toward the end of cocktail hour, and go straight to cutting the cake. Start our hellos while everyone is finding their seats, then get me to some food! Toasts will happen during the salad course, then dinner, then we'll do spotlight dances while everyone is finishing up eating. I like the idea of giving away the bouquet for the anniversary dance! We're definitely not doing a garter toss, so we might as well skip the bouquet toss too. There aren't very many single chicks left in our circle anyway. Once those 4 dances are done, everyone should be done with dinner and the dance floor will be open!

MairePoppy · March 2014

My daughter and SIL went straight to the dance floor after their introductions, so the dance floor was opened to the guests. The mother/son, father/daughter dances were done right after dinner.

lyndausvi · March 2014

Lolo8383 said:

I tend to make a lot of decisions based on when I'll get hungry. I get pretty 'hangry' otherwise and that's just not safe for anyone. So after a full Catholic mass and pictures, even if your guests have been fed at cocktail hour, YOU'RE gonna be starving!

We'll be introduced toward the end of cocktail hour, and go straight to cutting the cake. Start our hellos while everyone is finding their seats, then get me to some food! Toasts will happen during the salad course, then dinner, then we'll do spotlight dances while everyone is finishing up eating. I like the idea of giving away the bouquet for the anniversary dance! We're definitely not doing a garter toss, so we might as well skip the bouquet toss too. There aren't very many single chicks left in our circle anyway. Once those 4 dances are done, everyone should be done with dinner and the dance floor will be open!

obviously you have not been to one of our cocktail parties. They are meals on their own.

Plus our first dance was all of 2 minutes and 30 seconds. Hardly enough time to put people over the edge in the hunger department.

MollyandD · March 2014

I'm not having a cocktail hour, so the buffet will be opened for dinner right after the ceremony. We will do our first dance after pictures, then get our own meals. Some people will still be eating when the dance is over, and others can choose to dance or socialize.

ashleyep · March 2014

We're going to do our first dance right after being announced.

And then parent dances will open the dance floor after dinner.

[Deleted User] · March 2014

We are cocktail hour from 5-6, shuffling guests in to the room from 6-6:15, our grand entrance at about 6:20, first dance right when we come in, and then dinner is announced as soon as we are done (not sure if we are doing parent dances so it will cut some time out if we don't).

First dance--before or after dinner?

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