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Wedding Invitations & Paper

Wording advice

efgrandefgrand member
Second Anniversary First Comment
Hi all. I am getting stressed out regarding the wording of our wedding invitation. My mother feels strongly that it should read "Mr. & Mrs. (Bride's parents) request the honor of your presence at the wedding of their daughter (me) to (fiance) son of Mr. & Mrs. (future in laws)". My parents are paying for the majority of the cost (venue, dinners, officiants). However, my fiance's parents are also contributing significantly to the wedding (flowers, favors, and even the invitations) and I am afraid that they will be offended by having the wording this way. My fiance and I don't care either way and this is really the only thing my mom has had a strong opinion about and I know she would be really upset if the invitation was not worded as above. We have not discussed with my future in-laws yet. Any advice or can anyone comment on similar experiences? I am getting so stressed! :/

Re: Wording advice

  • You could always go with, "Together with their families..." but your parents may not like it if they are pushing for traditional wording.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited March 2014
    Is this a church wedding?  "Honor of your presence" is reserved for weddings that take place in a house of worship.
    You have several choices.  Have you talked to your FFILs?  How do they feel about being on the invitation?

    Traditional wording:  (Your parents hosting)

    Mr. and Mrs.John Bridesparents
    request the honour of your presence
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride's first middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    time o'clock
    Church name in full
    Address
    City, State

    Traditional wording that lists both sets of parents as hosts:

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
    Mr. and Mrs. George Groomsparents
    request the honour of your presence
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    (etc.)

    Non-traditional wording:

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
    request the honour of your presence
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Groom's Full Name
    son of Mr. and Mrs. George Groomsparents
    (etc.)

    Together with their families
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    request the honour of your presence
    as they are united in marriage
    (etc.)

    It is not an honor to be listed on a wedding invitation.  The invitation is a simple note from the hosts to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where.  It doesn't include or exclude anybody.  .  Contributing money towards your wedding does not automatically make someone a host of your wedding.  That being said, you have to please your families, especially if they are paying for the majority of your wedding.  Good luck!
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  • I think both set of parents should be on the invitation, because it sounds like they're both hosting. I guess I never understand why one set of parents would insist being the only ones on it when they're not the only ones hosting. It doesn't matter that back in the day the brides parents paid and hosted, generally that's not the case anymore.
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  • Also, if your FI parents are paying for the invites they should get a say in the wording.
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  • laurynm84 said:
    I think both set of parents should be on the invitation, because it sounds like they're both hosting. I guess I never understand why one set of parents would insist being the only ones on it when they're not the only ones hosting. It doesn't matter that back in the day the brides parents paid and hosted, generally that's not the case anymore.
    Paying does not equal "hosting," so whether or not both parents should be listed depends on who is acting as the point persons-issuing the invitations, receiving the replies, greeting the guests, and seeing that their needs are attended to.  One can pay without acting as a point person, and as @CMGragain says above, being listed is not an "honor."  The purpose of the invitation is to convey logistical information about the wedding, not to map out the family tree or to "honor" anyone other than the guests.
  • Thank you all so much for your replies- you have made me feel a whole lot better! I really appreciate it!
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