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Food and Cakes

Potluck Wedding???

I apologize if this topic has been discussed before...

FH's uncle is getting married in September of 2014. Although we haven't received an invitation yet, we've been told that there will be a "Potluck" reception. That's my term for it. Uncle and his fiance literally told us that they are asking everyone to bring a dish, and in my head, that's potluck. I guess this is more of a rant than a question but... seriously? Is this terrible etiquette or a perfectly acceptable option for a wedding on a budget? Not only that, but the reception is being held in the firehouse hall where the uncle works and we are being told that we'll have to WALK from the ceremony to the reception, which are about a half mile from each other, because there is no parking at the reception site. What the hell? Am I being a snob here, or is this just terrible planning on the bride and groom's part?
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Re: Potluck Wedding???

  • klburke88 said:
    I apologize if this topic has been discussed before...

    FH's uncle is getting married in September of 2014. Although we haven't received an invitation yet, we've been told that there will be a "Potluck" reception. That's my term for it. Uncle and his fiance literally told us that they are asking everyone to bring a dish, and in my head, that's potluck. I guess this is more of a rant than a question but... seriously? Is this terrible etiquette or a perfectly acceptable option for a wedding on a budget? Not only that, but the reception is being held in the firehouse hall where the uncle works and we are being told that we'll have to WALK from the ceremony to the reception, which are about a half mile from each other, because there is no parking at the reception site. What the hell? Am I being a snob here, or is this just terrible planning on the bride and groom's part?

    No, no no no.  Potlucks are NEVER acceptable for your wedding. Your uncle is being rude.  You aren't being a snob.  And the parking issue is ridiculous.  If he wants to hold a wedding at a venue without parking, they should be providing a shuttle.
    OliveOilsMomnebullamaCookie Pusher
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    You're not being a snob, your Uncle and his FI suck at planning.
    image



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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    You are not a snob.  They are being incredibly rude and inconsiderate to their guests.  Guests should not be subsidizing the wedding costs by bringing food.  It's not only rude, but it can become a potential health hazard!  They should be hosting the wedding they can afford.  A mid afternoon cake and punch reception is perfectly acceptable if they're on a budget.  It's also pretty rotten of them to make their guests walk 1/2 mile to the reception site (and then again at the end of the evening?!).  Rude.  They need a major lesson in etiquette.   I would decline this invitation. 
  • Anything that makes one's guests feel horribly inconvenienced, and a bit used is bad etiquette.

    So are you supposed to drop the food off at the parkingless venue before the ceremony, or walk with your dish for half a mile afterwards? Good grief, the two things by themselves would be bad enough, but putting them together just makes them exponentially worse.
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    Gina0887
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Potlucks are NEVER appropriate for weddings.

    Your uncle and his FI are very poor planners. 


  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Potluck family reunion? Good. 

    Potluck wedding reception? Bad. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    klburke88 said:
    I apologize if this topic has been discussed before...

    FH's uncle is getting married in September of 2014. Although we haven't received an invitation yet, we've been told that there will be a "Potluck" reception. That's my term for it. Uncle and his fiance literally told us that they are asking everyone to bring a dish, and in my head, that's potluck. I guess this is more of a rant than a question but... seriously? Is this terrible etiquette or a perfectly acceptable option for a wedding on a budget? Not only that, but the reception is being held in the firehouse hall where the uncle works and we are being told that we'll have to WALK from the ceremony to the reception, which are about a half mile from each other, because there is no parking at the reception site. What the hell? Am I being a snob here, or is this just terrible planning on the bride and groom's part?

    No, no no no.  Potlucks are NEVER acceptable for your wedding. Your uncle is being rude.  You aren't being a snob.  And the parking issue is ridiculous.  If he wants to hold a wedding at a venue without parking, they should be providing a shuttle.
    I'm with @QueerFemme on this one. Potluck AND a location with no parking? If I wasn't particularly close to this uncle, I would decline in a heartbeat. 
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • Hahaha, thanks ladies! Glad to know I'm the only one who is completely appalled by this. 
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  • klburke88 said:
    I apologize if this topic has been discussed before...

    FH's uncle is getting married in September of 2014. Although we haven't received an invitation yet, we've been told that there will be a "Potluck" reception. That's my term for it. Uncle and his fiance literally told us that they are asking everyone to bring a dish, and in my head, that's potluck. I guess this is more of a rant than a question but... seriously? Is this terrible etiquette or a perfectly acceptable option for a wedding on a budget? Not only that, but the reception is being held in the firehouse hall where the uncle works and we are being told that we'll have to WALK from the ceremony to the reception, which are about a half mile from each other, because there is no parking at the reception site. What the hell? Am I being a snob here, or is this just terrible planning on the bride and groom's part?
    It's not you, they are making some huge mistakes here.

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  • yes huge mistakes how are they going to insure all the food they receive is going to be fresh. ok at a family gathering at a house most people make the food ahead of time and put in the fridge and take out when they are leaving the house to your house, you know the food is good. lets say they have friends who live a distance like 2 hours they bring some food they cooked like a nice casserole get to the ceremony with the food and its now sitting out 3 hours not safe to eat

    potlucks are a huge no no at weddings. its your uncle and i would go but i would eat before hand. i am a picky eater and if i dont know who made it i wont eat it at all
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