Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Party
Wedding Party
New Discussion

Maid and Matron of honor...help

asheacoc91asheacoc91 member
10 Comments
edited February 2014 in Wedding Party
So my matron of honor is very jealous that I have chosen both a maid and matron of honor. To make matters worse my maid of honor and I went to look at dresses and just so happened to find the perfect one!!! It's BEAUTIFUL. But my matron of honor is acting like I went out on purpose. Which I didn't it just kind of happened. But now shes very upset with me, I have tried to apologize a million times but nothing is working :(
Report Reply to Post

Re: Maid and Matron of honor...help

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    asheacoc91 said:
    So my matron of honor is very jealous that I have chosen both a maid and matron of honor. To make matters worse my maid of honor and I went to look at dresses and just so happened to find the perfect one!!! It's BEAUTIFUL. But my matron of honor is acting like I went out on purpose. Which I didn't it just kind of happened. But now shes very upset with me, I have tried to apologize a million times but nothing is working :(

    Your matron of honor just needs to get over herself.  Your WP is your business.  She sounds jealous, so don't feed the crazy.

    As for the dress, did you ask each BM privately, what their budget is for a dress? Does this dress fall within their budget?  If it does not, you need to find a different dress within their budget.

    Report Reply
  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited February 2014
    asheacoc91 said:
    So my matron of honor is very jealous that I have chosen both a maid and matron of honor. To make matters worse my maid of honor and I went to look at dresses and just so happened to find the perfect one!!! It's BEAUTIFUL. But my matron of honor is acting like I went out on purpose. Which I didn't it just kind of happened. But now shes very upset with me, I have tried to apologize a million times but nothing is working :(
    She's sounds like she's being ridiculous and incredibly insecure, and you don't have to apologize. There's nothing to being a MOH except getting the dress, standing there, smiling, and taking pictures. 

    Just say something like, "You do realize that your titles are equal, and I love you both equally, right?" And then just change the topic. 

    ETA: Ditto OliveOil on asking every lady what her dress budget is.
    image
    Report Reply
  • asheacoc91asheacoc91 member
    10 Comments
    I mean my dress. Not theirs. And I tried to tell her they were equal but she doesn't want to be equal with her, she thinks it should just be her.
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    asheacoc91 said:
    I mean my dress. Not theirs. And I tried to tell her they were equal but she doesn't want to be equal with her, she thinks it should just be her.
    I would ignore any and all snide comments or eye-rolls or the like by your matron of honor.  She is acting like a 5 year old who isn't allowed a cookie.  Don't play into it and she will eventually stop.

    Report Reply
  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    asheacoc91 said:
    I mean my dress. Not theirs. And I tried to tell her they were equal but she doesn't want to be equal with her, she thinks it should just be her.
    Oh, then you DEFINITELY don't need to apologize. She needs to get over it. Stat. 

    If this was my friend and and she continued to insist on being ridiculously immature about this, I'd be tempted to have a come-to-Jesus moment with her about how she doesn't get to determine my friendships or my wedding party, and I'm sorry that she feels like she cannot share the honor of standing next to me on my wedding. 

    I understand her being disappointing and sad to not be there, but she needs to get over it now and be your friend. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • asheacoc91asheacoc91 member
    10 Comments
    Thank you ladies, I'm trying not to let it upset me but I know it's really upsetting her. I just don't want any one upset about over this wedding. And I'm worried that this (jealousy) is going to be happening all the way up to the big day. Like when it comes to who stands next to me and who gives the speeches and all that.
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    asheacoc91 said:
    Thank you ladies, I'm trying not to let it upset me but I know it's really upsetting her. I just don't want any one upset about over this wedding. And I'm worried that this (jealousy) is going to be happening all the way up to the big day. Like when it comes to who stands next to me and who gives the speeches and all that.
    I would stay out of all of that.  Just let the two of them work this out on their own.  The less involved you get the less stress you will feel.

    Report Reply
  • asheacoc91asheacoc91 member
    10 Comments
    I never even thought of that lol. Thank you
    Report Reply
  • cowgirl8238cowgirl8238 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer

    Can I ask why you Deleted your post??

    Report Reply
  • SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I came in here expecting a tantrum, or ridiculous drama and all I got was a jealous MOH and a seemingly level-headed bride. Boo!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary 
    Report Reply
  • HaileyDancingbearHaileyDancingbear member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    OP, in the future, even if your question has been answered by the responses given, don't delete your posts.  First off, it acts as a bat signal and everyone is going to come here looking to see what made you delete- usually when people do this it's because of drama!  Second, you've been quoted so the post is still there, so deleting doesn't do anything.  Third, even if YOU have already solved your issue and don't need more replies, other people reading it could benefit from any advice given- so if the extra comments don't help you, they can help someone else.  

    If you deleted because you're worried someone you know will see it, I'm sorry but that's just kinda tough, once it's out on the internet it's out there, although you're posting anonymously so even if your matron of honor or maid of honor did see this, they couldn't exactly prove it's you.  Just in the future leave your posts alone.
    image
    Report Reply
  • asheacoc91asheacoc91 member
    10 Comments
    I didn't want someone to see it.
    Report Reply
  • HaileyDancingbearHaileyDancingbear member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    asheacoc91 said:
    I didn't want someone to see it.
    That's the flaw with this site, I'm afraid, anyone can go on it and there's no way to completely delete a post- that only happens when they violate TOS.  Although honestly you can't be the only person on earth to have this problem, your username is not your name, and you didn't mention any names, so I think you're fine- besides, if they stalked your Knot profile they'd have a lot more explaining to do than you!!
    image
    Report Reply
  • asheacoc91asheacoc91 member
    10 Comments
    I don't think it matters if I delete my post. It's not like its hurting you.
    Report Reply
  • HaileyDancingbearHaileyDancingbear member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    asheacoc91 said:
    I don't think it matters if I delete my post. It's not like its hurting you.
    It's not, I'm just explaining that deleting your post just calls more attention to it.  Like I said, usually when people delete posts it's because of drama, so when people see a post has been deleted they all get curious and look.
    Edit- typo
    image
    Report Reply
  • asheacoc91asheacoc91 member
    10 Comments
    That is true. Sorry for the previous comment
    Report Reply
  • asheacoc91asheacoc91 member
    10 Comments
    edited February 2014
    Okay, that is true. I just don't want any more drama lol.
    Report Reply
  • HaileyDancingbearHaileyDancingbear member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    asheacoc91 said:
    That is true. Sorry for the previous comment
    It's totally fine :)  
    image
    Report Reply
  • asheacoc91asheacoc91 member
    10 Comments
    Just an update! There is no longer a matron of honor problem she's not in the wedding!! I feel so much less stressed!! :)
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards