Childcare at reception?

Re: Childcare at reception?

• doeydo member

  

  March 2014

  If I had children, I would keep them with me at the wedding or have left them with a babysitter that I know and trust.  I would not leave my children in a room of other kids and babysitters that I do not know.

  
  

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• mysticl member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  I do have a child and I would not leave him with someone I had never met before. Especially in a situation where I am at the same location and there is no reason he cannot be with me. I'm a social worker and dealt with background checks so here's some questions you should be able to answer if you do go this route: Are the background checks available for the parents to see? Was the criminal check done only for your state or were their fingerprints run through the F.B.I.? Was the child abuse check done only in your state or was it run in other states? If it was run in other states was it every state they have ever lived in or did they only go back a certain number of years? If it was not run in other states was that because the person never lived in another state or because the church opted not to do it? ETA: I have no idea why there are not paragraphs, I typed it with them.

  

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• tjones1224 member

  

  March 2014

  Not sure, those are questions I will need to ask I guess. I wasn't sure exactly what I should verify. I guess its good that most of the kids are family members that belong to our church and know the people who will be providing the childcare. I was more worried about the people who were coming from OOT, if they bring their kids.

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• STARMOON44 member

  

  March 2014

  I don't think you need to be able to answer @mystical's questions. All you need to do is tell parents who ask what you've told us "childcare is available across the hallway. I've hired the college students who provide childcare during our church services to help out." If parents think that sounds good, great! If they don't feel comfortable they'll keep their children with them. I actually think it's rude to be asking about fingerprints and FBI checks. If you require those things to be done to leave your children with someone that's certainly fine, but in a social situation like this the answer isn't interrogate your hostess, it's keep your children with you at the wedding or leave them at home.

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• mysticl member

  

  March 2014

  STARMOON44 said:

  I don't think you need to be able to answer @mystical's questions. All you need to do is tell parents who ask what you've told us "childcare is available across the hallway. I've hired the college students who provide childcare during our church services to help out." If parents think that sounds good, great! If they don't feel comfortable they'll keep their children with them. I actually think it's rude to be asking about fingerprints and FBI checks. If you require those things to be done to leave your children with someone that's certainly fine, but in a social situation like this the answer isn't interrogate your hostess, it's keep your children with you at the wedding or leave them at home.

  How is it rude to verify what background checks have been done?  OP opened the door by saying the people providing the care had background checks done so it is not unreasonable for parents to ask what those checks entailed.  If the church is only doing criminal checks at the state level they could be employing people who are convicted felons in other states and not know it.  Having fingerprints run through the FBI lets them know if their employee has been convicted anywhere in the U.S.  

  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  mysticl said:

  STARMOON44 said:

  I don't think you need to be able to answer @mystical's questions. All you need to do is tell parents who ask what you've told us "childcare is available across the hallway. I've hired the college students who provide childcare during our church services to help out." If parents think that sounds good, great! If they don't feel comfortable they'll keep their children with them. I actually think it's rude to be asking about fingerprints and FBI checks. If you require those things to be done to leave your children with someone that's certainly fine, but in a social situation like this the answer isn't interrogate your hostess, it's keep your children with you at the wedding or leave them at home.

  How is it rude to verify what background checks have been done?  OP opened the door by saying the people providing the care had background checks done so it is not unreasonable for parents to ask what those checks entailed.  If the church is only doing criminal checks at the state level they could be employing people who are convicted felons in other states and not know it.  Having fingerprints run through the FBI lets them know if their employee has been convicted anywhere in the U.S.  

  If you're so concerned about who is going to be looking after your children, then you need to find a babysitter of your own and have them supervise your children nearby.  But you are not entitled to expect a couple to have the FBI do background checks on their babysitters.  I think that's expecting too much of a bride and groom.
  

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• mysticl member

  

  March 2014

  Jen4948 said:

  mysticl said:

  STARMOON44 said:

  I don't think you need to be able to answer @mystical's questions. All you need to do is tell parents who ask what you've told us "childcare is available across the hallway. I've hired the college students who provide childcare during our church services to help out." If parents think that sounds good, great! If they don't feel comfortable they'll keep their children with them. I actually think it's rude to be asking about fingerprints and FBI checks. If you require those things to be done to leave your children with someone that's certainly fine, but in a social situation like this the answer isn't interrogate your hostess, it's keep your children with you at the wedding or leave them at home.

  How is it rude to verify what background checks have been done?  OP opened the door by saying the people providing the care had background checks done so it is not unreasonable for parents to ask what those checks entailed.  If the church is only doing criminal checks at the state level they could be employing people who are convicted felons in other states and not know it.  Having fingerprints run through the FBI lets them know if their employee has been convicted anywhere in the U.S.  

  If you're so concerned about who is going to be looking after your children, then you need to find a babysitter of your own and have them supervise your children nearby.  But you are not entitled to expect a couple to have the FBI do background checks on their babysitters.  I think that's expecting too much of a bride and groom.
  

  Of course I'm concern about who watches my child which is why I would not use this service.  I'm not suggesting that the bride and groom have FBI background checks run. The bride said the people she would be hiring to provide child care were already background checked.  So parents who are considering using the service may want to know exactly what those background checks entail so they can decide if they want to use the service or not.  

  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  March 2014

  mysticl said:

  Jen4948 said:

  mysticl said:

  STARMOON44 said:

  I don't think you need to be able to answer @mystical's questions. All you need to do is tell parents who ask what you've told us "childcare is available across the hallway. I've hired the college students who provide childcare during our church services to help out." If parents think that sounds good, great! If they don't feel comfortable they'll keep their children with them. I actually think it's rude to be asking about fingerprints and FBI checks. If you require those things to be done to leave your children with someone that's certainly fine, but in a social situation like this the answer isn't interrogate your hostess, it's keep your children with you at the wedding or leave them at home.

  How is it rude to verify what background checks have been done?  OP opened the door by saying the people providing the care had background checks done so it is not unreasonable for parents to ask what those checks entailed.  If the church is only doing criminal checks at the state level they could be employing people who are convicted felons in other states and not know it.  Having fingerprints run through the FBI lets them know if their employee has been convicted anywhere in the U.S.  

  If you're so concerned about who is going to be looking after your children, then you need to find a babysitter of your own and have them supervise your children nearby.  But you are not entitled to expect a couple to have the FBI do background checks on their babysitters.  I think that's expecting too much of a bride and groom.
  

  Of course I'm concern about who watches my child which is why I would not use this service.  I'm not suggesting that the bride and groom have FBI background checks run. The bride said the people she would be hiring to provide child care were already background checked.  So parents who are considering using the service may want to know exactly what those background checks entail so they can decide if they want to use the service or not.  

  Reasonable.
  

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• tjones1224 member

  

  March 2014

  I guess I should backtrack a bit and say personally, if it is one evening and I am right across the hall, I don't think I would care if they were full on FBI background checks. I come from a decently small town and am fairly certain if any of the people we asked were convicted felons in other states we would know about it. I just didn't know if it would bring anymore peace of mind to parents to know that I'm not just picking random people off the streets to watch their children. Like I mentioned, most of the children that will be there actually attend our church so they know and trust the care providers. I hope that all of my OOT guests also trust the judgement of me, my FI, and my parents to pick people that will care for their children.

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• wandajune6 member

  

  March 2014

  This is an interesting thread. We're having a decent number of kids at our wedding. We have a lot of people coming in from out of town and know that they will bring their children with them (it's hard to leave kids with relatives when all of the relatives are coming!). I've been asked a few times if we're providing childcare. I looked into it but my fiance took the firm stance that parents can be responsible for their own kids (as a dad with full custody and me not being a parent) I decided to agree.
  
  We don't have a spare room for kids but we'll have bags of stuff to entertain them. Ultimately, we see the parents as being responsible. And, as a BM with 2 kids (4 by the time of the wedding!) said- she's leaving the kids at home so they can have fun without worrying about them!
  
  

  

  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  March 2014

  I really don't understand the point of having childcare at a wedding.  Either the parents will bring little Johnny (if invited of course) and have him with them all night or they will choose to hire a sitter of their choosing to watch him while they attend the wedding.

  
  

  It may shock some people, but most parents typically like spending time with their kids and know that if they go somewhere then they are responsible for their care, like they are any other day of the week.  But if the parents really want a night out alone then they will hire a sitter.

  
  

  I don't get why people think that parents feel bogged down or restricted by having their kid/kids around and thus they must have access to childcare at weddings.

  
  

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• MrsK2015 member

  

  March 2014

  I think providing childcare is a nice option for both the parents and the children, especially since it sounds like a lot of the children will know each other and/or are related. Do you have a wedding website? You could include the inserts about the childcare as you mentioned and provide additional details (i.e. who these people are that will be providing the childcare) on the website. 

  
  

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• kimi0119 member

  

  March 2014

  Sounds like a good idea to me! I don't have children though, so I don't know how I would feel leaving my own there. I would with older children I think. We will have tons of kids at our wedding. Quite a few of them are family, and a bunch are in the wedding.
  
  I hear that a lot of weddings are "adult only" these days and parents are left with the option to either leave kids with a babysitter of their own or not attend the wedding. At least youre giving your guests another option!
  
  My cousin had a game/kid room available at her wedding. It went over really well. I do not know if there was an adult always present, but the kids and parents could come and go as they pleased. I wish I could do that at my reception, but we don't have any separate rooms in our hall.
  
  Good luck!
  

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  March 2014

  I think some parents will love it, others won't. It just depends on the parents and how the child gets along not being around their parents. I say offer the service & maybe make known that child care providers are individuals from your church that help run the child care at the church. Maybe if people know that it's not some random teenagers but basically individuals you personally know that have child care experience, it will make a difference. It's across the hall from your reception room so it will be very easy for the parents to go and check on their kids on a regular basis. As long as you are ok if not everyone puts their kids in there, I think you will be fine. This is a great option for people who's normal sitters may be family & that family will also be at the wedding or if anyone is from out of town & leaving their child back home for the weekend isn't an option either.

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