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How To Address Wedding Announcements?

PhoneCardLadyPhoneCardLady member
500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
edited March 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My friend has decided to go to City Hall and elope - only her and FI - no one else, not even me.  She knows to send out wedding announcements the day of or the next, but how?  At least one couple lives together but are not married (and if they had a wedding, she would have made sure both names were on the invite).

So do they get one announcement with both names listed or two separate announcements?
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Re: How To Address Wedding Announcements?

  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    You address this correspondence to them the same way you would address any other correspondence to people who live together and are in a relationship.

    Mr. Jon Smith
    Ms. Sally Jones
    [Address]
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    The rules for addressing wedding announcements are no different than for wedding invitations, or any other mail.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • PhoneCardLadyPhoneCardLady member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Ok, another question - does she send announcements to those she had planned to invite or does it get expanded?  Heather was not inviting any of her cousins due to the fact she has 20 of them on one side of the family and nine on the other (and 99% have S/O).
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    She sends announcements to anyone who might reasonably be expected to be interested in such information. Whether she would have invited them to the wedding is irrelevant.

    However, she should not send them to some people in a circle (i.e., some cousins, some aunts/uncles) and not all of them.

    Announcements are fairly inexpensive (you can buy a kit of RSVP cards at Staples for about $20 and print them yourself at home). Send them to as many people as you would like.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • PhoneCardLadyPhoneCardLady member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    That's what Heather plans to do - bought about 100 blank announcements (on clearance) but her cousins are scattered.  The oldest one is about three years younger than her mother, the youngest about 10 years younger than her.  Most of them are out of state and probably wouldn't attend...
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    What do they have to attend? If she's not inviting them to anything, they have nothing to attend. If she's just announcing the wedding, they all can reasonably be expected to want to know that the marriage happened.

    Whether she would have invited them all to the wedding is irrelevant; announcements have always served the purpose of informing people who weren't invited to a wedding (for whatever reason) but who might reasonably be expected to be interested in the information that a marriage has occurred.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • pumpkinsandturkeyspumpkinsandturkeys member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    PhoneCardLady said:
    That's what Heather plans to do - bought about 100 blank announcements (on clearance) but her cousins are scattered.  The oldest one is about three years younger than her mother, the youngest about 10 years younger than her.  Most of them are out of state and probably wouldn't attend...
    Probably wouldn't attend what?

    Unless she's planning some sort of PPD which she expects them to attend (which would be WRONG), she should send announcements to anyone she would like to know about the marriage.

    Easy peasy.


    image
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its

    FWIW, just going to city hall and having a JOP wedding is not an elopement. It's considered a private wedding. An elopement is when the bride and groom get married without most people knowing. However, if you go to city hall and do not tell anyone about it beforehand, that would be considered an elopement.

    Sorry for hijacking, but I'm kind of a stickler for this because of my own elopement.

     







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  • PhoneCardLadyPhoneCardLady member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    No problem Jells.

    Heather has one elderly aunt (widowed) left on her mother's side; also the uncle of a deceased aunt, also on her mother's side.  None on her dad's side.  If she sends an announcement to the aunt and the uncle, word tends to spread quickly.  Both are out of state.

    Doesn't plan on a PPD.  Someone thought that $7000 for a wedding was outrageous and told that to her face.  She hasn't asked her family for any money...and thought that was a slap in the face.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Jells2dot0 said:

    FWIW, just going to city hall and having a JOP wedding is not an elopement. It's considered a private wedding. An elopement is when the bride and groom get married without most people knowing. However, if you go to city hall and do not tell anyone about it beforehand, that would be considered an elopement.

    Sorry for hijacking, but I'm kind of a stickler for this because of my own elopement.

    I understand what you are saying.  Elopements are the norm in my extended family.  I do not understand the trend of having a private ceremony and then a big reception.  A reception for an event where there are no guests?  Somebody please explain this to me.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    CMGragain said:
    Jells2dot0 said:

    FWIW, just going to city hall and having a JOP wedding is not an elopement. It's considered a private wedding. An elopement is when the bride and groom get married without most people knowing. However, if you go to city hall and do not tell anyone about it beforehand, that would be considered an elopement.

    Sorry for hijacking, but I'm kind of a stickler for this because of my own elopement.

    I understand what you are saying.  Elopements are the norm in my extended family.  I do not understand the trend of having a private ceremony and then a big reception.  A reception for an event where there are no guests?  Somebody please explain this to me.
    Elopements are the norm for my DH's family, with the exception of my DH's first wedding. Having been through both types of weddings, I have to say eloping was FANTASTIC!!! :)

     







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  • PhoneCardLadyPhoneCardLady member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Thanks everyone for all the advice.  Heather isn't going to have a reception - all she wanted to do is know who she had to send announcements to IF she had an actual wedding.  As I said, one of her aunts is elderly and widowed, and could not come unless her son and his wife brought her.  Heather was worried about what the daughter (Heather's cousin) would think if she had not received an invitation.

    Three of her aunts have passed in the last year, so the guest list (on her side) had dropped greatly.
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