Wedding Etiquette Forum

Friends of the family giving extravagant gifts

I know this is a first-world problem to have, but what do I do if I feel someone is being TOO generous? We are very close to a family because we drive out to their house (in the middle of nowhere) routinely to visit their son (our friend) who is an amputee and has health problems that have not allowed him to heal. The doctors are still trying to figure it out, but in the meantime he can't go anywhere and we don't want him to feel like a shut-in. We were all in college together and he developed compartment syndrome in his leg and almost died of kidney failure. I nagged and nagged him to let us take him to the hospital and we did and also called his mom and told her to fly in right away. If he had not gone, he would have been dead within 24 hours. It was not a big deal. It's not like we rescued him off a sinking ship or anything. In fact, I had no idea how serious his illness was until we saw him several days later. I just thought it could be bad since his leg was so swollen. I feel that they are buying us too many gifts for the wedding! I don't want them to feel like they owe us anything for driving a friend to the hospital. We love them, and they are like family. How do I tell them they've given us enough without hurting their feelings? His mother Sandy says it's because she's "Sandy Claus" that she's so generous. She keeps purchasing expensive items off the registry! I know they do well financially, so maybe I should just be gracious and let it go? What would you guys do??? I'm afraid to open packages now!
My colors are "blood of my enemies" and "rage".

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Re: Friends of the family giving extravagant gifts

  • kitsunegari89kitsunegari89 member
    500 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited March 2014
    I write a thank-you note after every package I receive! I'm on number 5! I guess I'll keep them coming? Our friend's care is very complicated. He has a home care nurse that comes in three times a week. I'm not sure if we could be of much use in that area. I am planning on giving them a framed wedding portrait when we have those taken.
    My colors are "blood of my enemies" and "rage".

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3h1kr8sYk1qzve89.gif
  • You DID save his life by forcing him to go to the hospital. If I were his mother, I'd be sending you a ton of gifts too. I understand where you're coming from, and it's so nice that you're a caring, modest person, but let her have this one. :) 
  • There is nothing wrong with generosity.  You need to be gracious enough to accept it.  Write a lovely thank you note.
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  • Thanks everyone! I feel more comfortable about this, now. I'm just not used to such generosity! They're very kind people and good friends.
    My colors are "blood of my enemies" and "rage".

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3h1kr8sYk1qzve89.gif
  • You are lucky to have them as friends, and they are lucky to have you. That kind of friendship is rare and beautiful.

    Just be gracious and grateful.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
  • I was once told that when someone wants to do something nice for you because they care and they want to. It's not fair for the receiver to try and stop that. Let the giver give their gift and don't take away that feeling from them.

    Clearly they are doing this because they want to. It feels great to give to people you care for. If you feel they are going above and beyond, maybe a thank you above and beyond would make you feel better. As a PP said, maybe after the wedding to bring over dinner and spend time with them!
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