Bouquet toss number threshold

Re: Bouquet toss number threshold

• SP29 member

  

  March 2014

  It sounds like you want to cater your guest list so that you have enough single guests for the toss? Am I reading that right? If so, don't do that. You should be inviting people whom are near and dear to you that you want to share your wedding day with.

  
  

  However, I understand the awkwardness of the toss. We had a similar situation, VERY few single guests. So what we did, is have both the bouquet and garter toss, but we opened the floor up to anyone who wanted to partake and offered a gift card to the liquor store (it's provincially run in ON) for the winner. 

  
  

  If you do something different with the toss, do make sure your MC clearly states the rules. Our MC did explain the rules, but there were people who either didn't get it, or didn't listen to the MC talking, because there were some confused people after the fact. 

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• 312Emily member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  SP29 said:

  It sounds like you want to cater your guest list so that you have enough single guests for the toss? Am I reading that right? If so, don't do that. You should be inviting people whom are near and dear to you that you want to share your wedding day with.

  
  

  However, I understand the awkwardness of the toss. We had a similar situation, VERY few single guests. So what we did, is have both the bouquet and garter toss, but we opened the floor up to anyone who wanted to partake and offered a gift card to the liquor store (it's provincially run in ON) for the winner. 

  
  

  If you do something different with the toss, do make sure your MC clearly states the rules. Our MC did explain the rules, but there were people who either didn't get it, or didn't listen to the MC talking, because there were some confused people after the fact. 

  What?! No. Our guest list is set in stone. How many single or engaged ladies should be in attendance.... not invited. I'm not going to spend $100 to add guests so I can do a bouquet toss.  That's absurd. I just want to know how many need to be IN ATTENDANCE for it to not be awkward. I've invited 13-16... I just lost count of exact numbers, since, oddly enough, I don't carry around my guest list with me wherever I go.

  

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• Mitch617 member

  

  March 2014

  Not sure, but keep in mind some of the ladies won't join in the toss either because they don't want to, or are in the bathroom or something. I guess even if only 8-10 of your girls go to the floor for the toss, it is still a good enough number that no one feels weird. Are engaged girls supposed to try to catch it? Seems silly because they are already planning to get married soon.

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• 312Emily member

  

  March 2014

  Mitch617 said:

  Not sure, but keep in mind some of the ladies won't join in the toss either because they don't want to, or are in the bathroom or something. I guess even if only 8-10 of your girls go to the floor for the toss, it is still a good enough number that no one feels weird. Are engaged girls supposed to try to catch it? Seems silly because they are already planning to get married soon.

  Hmmm.  Yeah, some of the engaged ladies probably won't bother, and they make up like 5 or 6 on the list. I've been on the fence about it anyway, and really want to err on the side of not making it awkward for my guests, because they are all very dear to us, and making it awkward for them is the last thing I want.

  
  

  Perhaps I'll just put the bouquet in a vase on the sweets table and call it a day. 

  
  

  The saddest part in all of this is that now I won't get to photoshop a cat onto my bouquet toss photos and submit them to http://bridesthrowingcats.com/  But life will go on.

  

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• phira member

  

  March 2014

  I'd skip the toss entirely. I know that even when I was single, I hated the bouquet toss and wouldn't have gotten up to do it.

  
  

  However, you can always toss something else and have everyone who wants to catch it feel free to participate. Some people have tossed stuffed animals with gift certificates, for example.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• wrigleyville member

  

  March 2014

  We were in the same position, so we skipped it.

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• OliveOilsMom member

  

  March 2014

  I was in the same position as you. So we did an anniversary dance and we gave my bouquet to the longest married couple there. All couples were invited to the dance floor and then slowly removed by the amount of years they had been married. Then the last couple standing gets an extra whirl around the dance floor and you present the bouquet to them.

  

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• rajahmd member

  

  March 2014

  We don't have a lot of single friends, but DH really wanted to do the tosses. I was very against singling out the single friends, so we comprised. We tossed the bouquet and garter, but invited everyone to participate. The winner of each toss received a 25 dollar gift card to either Starbucks or Best Buy. It's was mainly the under 30 crowd who participated, but a good mix of single vs. married. In fact, both winners were married. Some of our favorite pictures are from the tosses.
  
  One of the highlights: the winner of the garter toss spent the rest of the evening with the garter on his head like a headband. Thankfully this was not a garter I had actually worn, otherwise it would have been creepy.

  

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• RebeccaB88 member

  

  March 2014

  I always make sure I suddenly need to go to the bathroom REALLY REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW right when they announce the tosses. So you need to plan that at least a few 'eligibles' will do the same thing too. 
  
  I don't like the connotations of the tosses at all, but if you do want to toss something, the alternative tosses above I think are best received.  And you can still have something to photoshop the cat into.
  

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• Mitch617 member

  

  March 2014

  I think it depends how your crowd feels about the tradition. Some find it embarrassing, others find it fun. I've also heard of throwing a "bouquet" of lottery tickets. Now that you mention it, I should really throw something to photoshop my cat in later hahaha.

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• SP29 member

  

  March 2014

  Sorry, misunderstood you, I see what you are asking. 

  
  

  I don't know if there is a "number" before it gets weird. I think it depends on your crowd. I have a few guests who are very into the bouquet toss and I have another friend who absolutely hates it. Thus, my few friends would likely have no problem going up even if it was only 3 of them, where as the other friend won't go up even if there were 50 women out on the floor. 

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• pinkshorts27 member

  

  March 2014

  emilyellyse said:

  Mitch617 said:

  Not sure, but keep in mind some of the ladies won't join in the toss either because they don't want to, or are in the bathroom or something. I guess even if only 8-10 of your girls go to the floor for the toss, it is still a good enough number that no one feels weird. Are engaged girls supposed to try to catch it? Seems silly because they are already planning to get married soon.

  Hmmm.  Yeah, some of the engaged ladies probably won't bother, and they make up like 5 or 6 on the list. I've been on the fence about it anyway, and really want to err on the side of not making it awkward for my guests, because they are all very dear to us, and making it awkward for them is the last thing I want.

  
  

  Perhaps I'll just put the bouquet in a vase on the sweets table and call it a day. 

  
  

  The saddest part in all of this is that now I won't get to photoshop a cat onto my bouquet toss photos and submit them to http://bridesthrowingcats.com/  But life will go on.

  We are giving my bouquet to my parents. They are paying for the wedding and it will be their 30th anniversary. I refused to do either toss and had to convince FI, but I hated the tosses when I was single and I have some cousins bitter about being single.

  
  

  

  
  

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• Aray82 member

  

  March 2014

  For what it's worth, I've never seen the number as an issue. I personally always found the bouquet toss awkward and humiliating, whether there were 50 other single ladies or 5. Even in 2014, single women get enough reminders of their single (and often implied inferior) status from jewelry commercials to offhand comments by well-meaning relatives. Being "invited" to strain to catch a bouquet could be viewed as just one more of these types of reminders--even though it's your best intention not to present it this way and I know you don't mean it to seem this way. I like the idea of bestowing your bouquet at an anniversary dance, or having everyone invited to participate regardless of single status--in fact, I might do that myself! Then you could still participate in the fun part of the tradition.

  
  

  That said, I get that it's a tradition you want to partake in and it's not an etiquette issue--more just a personal preference as long as no one's called out or forced to participate. My little sis is doing it at her wedding and I expect it will be fun with the tons of single cousins and friends she'll have as compared to the few single folks who will be at ours. I just hope she uses something more original than the Beyonce song

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• ScoutF member

  

  March 2014

  I opened up the floor to all women, not just the unmarried ones. Several of my aunts took part and had a blast. 

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• princessleia22 member

  

  March 2014

  I really don't want bouquet toss at mine, but my MOH really wants it.  BUT, she is the only unmarried woman (over age of 6) attend in our wedding. And she recently got engaged and is getting married 2 months after me. So, I'm pretty sure that means no bouquet toss for me. Although since my wedding is on a cruise ship, we debated opening the toss up to non-wedding guest cruisers and tossing in down from upper deck, maybe by pool area. But, I don't see the point.

  I dont think there is really a minimum number. In my case, 1 person is definitely too few... I just have images of me throwing the bouquet in her face (in a joking way, not mean way). But I'd say around 10 people is fine if you want to do it. Even 5-6 may be ok. Yes, not everyone will participate. But if you want to do the toss, do it.

   

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• Sammyantha13 member

  

  March 2014

  Thanks for posting this; it made me realize that I don't have many single girlfriends who will be attending...however FI does have a lot of single male friends who will be there.  So would it be appropriate to do a garter toss but no bouquet toss?  Or do they have to be done together?  

  
  

  I do like @RajahBMFD's idea of giving a prize to whoever catches them, so maybe we will do that!

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• Angusaur member

  

  March 2014

  At my BIL and (EX) SIL's vow renewal, she forced me to do the bouquet toss with ONE other girl. We were the only 2. I caught it. Then my fiance and one other guy were out there, the other guy didn't even try to catch it for this reason... the whole thing was awkward.

  
  

  

  
  

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• Inkdancer member

  

  March 2014

  Sammyantha13 said:

  Thanks for posting this; it made me realize that I don't have many single girlfriends who will be attending...however FI does have a lot of single male friends who will be there.  So would it be appropriate to do a garter toss but no bouquet toss?  Or do they have to be done together?  

  
  

  I do like @RajahBMFD's idea of giving a prize to whoever catches them, so maybe we will do that!

  You can absolutely do one but not the other. We are skipping the garter because I think it's stupid (who wants to see someone get up under your skirt in front of the whole family??) but I love bouquet tosses.
  

  

  

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• Amyzen83 member

  

  March 2014

  Ok I see you've edited your original Op to state you aren't doing one. I think that's best in your situation since there aren't enough truly single guests to make this fun. I can tell you as an engaged woman I hate it when people drag me up to the dance floor because I honestly see know point in going up there when I already have the e ring and date picked out. Kids and single guests fine, and possibly couples who are not yet engaged, because they could be the next to get an e ring. But I definately think this is a know your crowd scenario

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• zizibet member

  

  March 2014

  That tumblr is genius. Do it-just open it to all the guests, and have a prize.
  

  

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• short+sassy member

  

  March 2014

  zizibet said:

  That tumblr is genius. Do it-just open it to all the guests, and have a prize.
  

  
  I think this is a brilliant idea and saw a few other PPs mention it.  I still gives you the fun of the bouquet toss you want to do, without worrying about only a few people coming up or it being awkward for anyone.

  

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