MOH problem

hannahj0 · March 2014

Hey y'all. I really need some advice. My wedding is next month and I originally had 3 bridesmaids and a MOH - 4 total girls. We all met at the same time (we were teammates in college) and we were all close. The girl I asked to be my MOH I had become closer with over the last few years and she was actually the reason my FI and I met.

Long story cut very short, MOH and I are no longer speaking. Actually, none of us speak with her anymore (more so by her choice, but I think the other girls are extremely fed up by her actions and don't care). At first I felt extremely bad about this and kept wanting to reach out, but there was really nothing I could have said so now I'm just angry that she is letting something so petty and stupid end our friendship. She didn't even RSVP to the bridal shower my FMIL had for me and she purposely planned a trip out of state over the same weekend as my bachelorette (I know, she's not required to come, and why would I expect her if we aren't even speaking). I guess I've felt this whole time that she eventually would try to apologize or at least reach out and say SOMETHING.

Now I've found out that she is planning another trip across the country the same weekend as my wedding. What's hurtful, is that she has talked other girls who I have invited to the wedding to go with her on this trip, rather than come to my wedding. I also hate when people start asking about who my maid of honor is. I feel like people will be judging me or talking about me on my wedding day, that the MOH dropped out.

I guess this is all really unnecessary back story. The real advice I need is what to do about the "witness" for my wedding. For catholic weddings the MOH serves as the witness. The other girls have been so supportive and have really been there for me. It kind of makes me kick myself thinking that this other girl was a "better" friend instead of asking one of the other girls to be my MOH. I know it's rude to ask someone to step up and I don't want anyone thinking they are second rate. But I do need to provide info to my priest. Would it be just as bad to ask one of the other girls to be my witness? Should I have no MOH or make all 3 of them maids of honor?

Thanks!

MobKaz · March 2014

hannahj0 said:

Hey y'all. I really need some advice. My wedding is next month and I originally had 3 bridesmaids and a MOH - 4 total girls. We all met at the same time (we were teammates in college) and we were all close. The girl I asked to be my MOH I had become closer with over the last few years and she was actually the reason my FI and I met. Long story cut very short, MOH and I are no longer speaking. Actually, none of us speak with her anymore (more so by her choice, but I think the other girls are extremely fed up by her actions and don't care). At first I felt extremely bad about this and kept wanting to reach out, but there was really nothing I could have said so now I'm just angry that she is letting something so petty and stupid end our friendship. She didn't even RSVP to the bridal shower my FMIL had for me and she purposely planned a trip out of state over the same weekend as my bachelorette (I know, she's not required to come, and why would I expect her if we aren't even speaking). I guess I've felt this whole time that she eventually would try to apologize or at least reach out and say SOMETHING. Now I've found out that she is planning another trip across the country the same weekend as my wedding. What's hurtful, is that she has talked other girls who I have invited to the wedding to go with her on this trip, rather than come to my wedding. I also hate when people start asking about who my maid of honor is. I feel like people will be judging me or talking about me on my wedding day, that the MOH dropped out. I guess this is all really unnecessary back story. The real advice I need is what to do about the "witness" for my wedding. For catholic weddings the MOH serves as the witness. The other girls have been so supportive and have really been there for me. It kind of makes me kick myself thinking that this other girl was a "better" friend instead of asking one of the other girls to be my MOH. I know it's rude to ask someone to step up and I don't want anyone thinking they are second rate. But I do need to provide info to my priest. Would it be just as bad to ask one of the other girls to be my witness? Should I have no MOH or make all 3 of them maids of honor? Thanks!

Anyone can serve as a witness. You can leave all 3 as BM's or you can make all 3 MOH's, but the title is meaningless as it pertains to the ability to serve as witness.

mlg78 · March 2014

Why not choose an aunt that you're close with to sign? Or a Godmother? My husband and I briefly considered having both of our moms be witnesses. It doesn't have to be the MOH and best man. Just leave the 3 girls as bridesmaids and when someone asks about your MOH simply say, "Oh, I don't have one. I have 3 bridesmaids."

HisGirlFriday13 · March 2014

You don't need a witness for a Catholic Mass, at least not for the sacramental part of it. Whether your state requires one for the licence is another story, but the Church has does not require one.

We didn't need a witness. The priest served as the witness for the state and filled out the licence, but the MOH plays no 'witness' role in the Catholic wedding Mass.

OliveOilsMom · March 2014

Could you ask your priest that when it comes time for the vows, that all members of the WP stand up with you? You can explain simply to the priest, that the girl who was your MOH is not longer your friend and won't be attending the wedding. No need to give details.

You will need to have someone sign your license, but anyone can do that.

Jen4948 · March 2014

It sounds like she's taken yourself out of your wedding. As long as someone signs your license as a witness, you don't need to designate any of your remaining bridesmaids as your MOH.

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