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Second Wedding Reception

LukeandCarrieLukeandCarrie member
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in Wedding Reception Forum
My Fiance and I are getting married in the end of June in his hometown in Wisconsin, which happens to be a solid eight hours from mine. I am moving to his hometown the beginning of June. We are planning on going back to my hometown in Iowa in mid June for a few days, but we wont be back in Iowa for several months after we get married. Would it be appropriate to throw a second reception while we are in town in mid June even though we won't be married yet?
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Re: Second Wedding Reception

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    vsgalvsgal member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Not appropriate.  The point of a reception is to thank your guests for attending your ceremony.  Having a reception before you are married is rude.  Just invite everyone to the wedding in Wisconsin and have the reception there.
    ROCK IS KING!!
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    LukeandCarrieLukeandCarrie member
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    We have invited everyone to the wedding in Wisconsin. I know that my grandparents, which are all 80 or older, wont be able to take the drive, and neither will my aunts and uncles because they live about 12 hours away from Wisconsin. I was wondering if there would be anything we could do that we would be able to include these people in our wedding celebration.
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited March 2014
    LukeandCarrie said:
    My Fiance and I are getting married in the end of June in his hometown in Wisconsin, which happens to be a solid eight hours from mine. I am moving to his hometown the beginning of June. We are planning on going back to my hometown in Iowa in mid June for a few days, but we wont be back in Iowa for several months after we get married. Would it be appropriate to throw a second reception while we are in town in mid June even though we won't be married yet?
    Absolutely NOT!!!  You may throw a party to celebrate your marriage AFTER you are married, not before.  It would look very gift grabby!
    You get ONE wedding reception, and it is on your wedding day for your guests who come to your ceremony.  Anything afterwards, on another day, is not a part of your wedding.
    It is always good to throw a party for your friends and family.  What would be wrong is to try and make it part of your wedding day, which it is not.  No wedding dress, no wedding traditions.  It would be fine to show people your pictures of your wedding and honeymoon, though.  I'm sure your relatives would enjoy it.  Just have a nice party.

    I was born near Rockwell City, and DH is from Des Moines.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    When you made the choice to have your wedding in his hometown, you obviously knew that some of your guests wouldn't be able to attend. That's the choice you made. Throwing a wedding reception before you're married is silly. And rude. You get one wedding reception and it's to thank the people that attended your ceremony. 
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    LondonLisaLondonLisa member
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    I agree with PP- you made the decision to have the wedding away from your family. Surely you knew at the time that this meant all of your family couldn't make it. Also, I'm sure you didn't mean to, but it would be very gift grabby to have something before the ceremony. Just invite everyone to your wedding and see who can make it. You may be surprised. My 90 year old Grandmother flew to another country for my brother's wedding when no one was expecting her to make it. Have your wedding as planned. Afterwards, next time you are in your hometown, throw a " we are back in town" party and invite everyone who was invited to the wedding but couldn't make it. This is not a wedding reception part 2 (ie no wedding dress, no bridal/wedding-y type decorations, no gifts). 


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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    LukeandCarrie said:
    We have invited everyone to the wedding in Wisconsin. I know that my grandparents, which are all 80 or older, wont be able to take the drive, and neither will my aunts and uncles because they live about 12 hours away from Wisconsin. I was wondering if there would be anything we could do that we would be able to include these people in our wedding celebration.
    When you made the decision to have the wedding where you did then you had to have realized that certain people were going to be unable to make it.  That is just how it works unfortunately.

    When you are in town just try and make an effort to see your grandparents and visit with them or take them out for lunch.  That is about as much as I would do.

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    TheGrimReaperTheGrimReaper member
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    I feel your pain. My 92 year old grandmother cannot make the trip to our wedding.  It's only a few hours, but she would be uncomfortable the whole time.  We plan on going up there after we get back from our honeymoon to share pictures and video with her.
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    vsgalvsgal member
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    If you have key people that cannot travel to your wedding, then you move the wedding to them.  Understand by doing that, you may eliminate people that can't/won't travel to the new location.    You will not be able to please everyone.  You will not be able to accommodate everyone. You will make yourself crazy trying to do so.  As far as people traveling to your wedding, you might be surprised as to who will travel and who will not.  Don't decide for your guests if they will come to the event.
    ROCK IS KING!!
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    QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    You could just host a family BBQ or something in your home town after you are married, but just don't try to make it a wedding reception re-do.  You can bring your wedding photo album, even a wedding video if you have it.  And enjoy the company of your family.  But, don't do another reception. You are going to look silly.

    image

    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    edited March 2014
    LukeandCarrie said:
    My Fiance and I are getting married in the end of June in his hometown in Wisconsin, which happens to be a solid eight hours from mine. I am moving to his hometown the beginning of June. We are planning on going back to my hometown in Iowa in mid June for a few days, but we wont be back in Iowa for several months after we get married. Would it be appropriate to throw a second reception while we are in town in mid June even though we won't be married yet?
    No, you can't throw any "receptions" until you are actually married, and then you can only throw a "reception" right after the wedding ceremony itself on the same day.

    If it's not possible for these people to travel to your wedding location, then you graciously accept that you can't "include" them in the wedding.  You can hold a "celebration" of your marriage later, after the wedding, where they're located, but it will not be a "wedding reception" and you would need to avoid the trappings of a wedding, such as the dress, a wedding party, and any re-enactment of the ceremony, because those are strictly for actual weddings.
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    RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The only true way to include them in the wedding is to have them there.  I would hope that the ability of all the VIPs on both sides of the family to get there was one of the main considerations when choosing the venue and location.  You can't really choose that first, then figure out how to get people involved when they can't be there. You could always Skype them in for the ceremony, but they still WON'T BE THERE.  That's how you include people - have them there. Otherwise you're almost purposely excluding them because you've decide something else is more important. (And obviously, having VIPs on both sides of the family who can't travel is a catch-22.)

    And yeah, you can always have a kick-ass party, barbecue, brunch, etc, when you're in your town next time, but it's not a wedding reception. It's a party. You don't need an excuse to get people together to eat and drink and talk.
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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Why don't you have a going away party to say goodbye to family in your home town?

    Throwing a wedding related party would be inappropriate, but there's nothing wrong with a "just because" party.  
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    cambriarackleffcambriarackleff member
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    edited March 2014
    I am the mother of the Bride... When my husband & I got married, we did so in San Diego, California because that is where we met in a very large church who was like family.  Much of my biological family is in the Seattle area of Washington State.  We had a second reception about a month after the wedding at my parents' church.  I wore my wedding dress and we showed the video of the wedding.  About 60 people attended (primarily family).  My mother was one of 9 children and I have 34 1st cousins, and many could not afford the expense of traveling and accommodations.  This was very well received by all!!! 
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    cambriarackleffcambriarackleff member
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    edited March 2014

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