Greetings from June 2013!!

emilyb213 · January 2014

Good morning, June 2014 brides (and grooms, if there are any gentlemen in the room), and congratulations on your upcoming weddings!!

We're the old married hags from June 2013, and we thought we'd stop by to say hello and answer any questions you may have about your upcoming weddings, married life, and the like. A lot of you have probably formed close bonds with each other, which is great, because the people on this board are going to be the ones who will get you through the next few months with your sanity (mostly) intact. The ladies who got married in June 2012 did a Q&A with us a few months before our weddings, and it was very helpful, so we'd like to pay it forward to June 2014.

I'll be your liaison for the next few days, taking your questions back to the June 2013 ladies, and I'll respond back with answers from the group. So go ahead, ask us whatever wedding/marriage/life questions you may have, and we'll do our best to answer them based on our experiences.

Edit: A little bit of wisdom right off the bat: don't sweat the small stuff. No one is going to care what color shoes your bridesmaids are wearing, what their hair looks like, or what kind of aisle decor you have (or don't have). Don't get buried stressing out about minor details that no one notices.

Peaseblossom55 · January 2014

Just saying hello back. That is awesome you stopped by. No questions really. I feel like now comes the part of the planning for all of the smaller details which is kind of cool. I agree life is too short to really worry about the smaller details not working out.

PayneJ09 · February 2014

Hello I have a couple questions. Did you have a wedding website and if you did, did you put on there for what you wanted your guests to wear? Also, did you send two thank you cards if someone gets you a bridal shower gift but then also gives you something at the wedding?

FiancB · February 2014

Thanks for the stop in @emilyb213! That's a really sweet idea.

I guess my question is for ladies that paid for their own weddings. I am in a situation where I'm planning my wedding all over again, and am torn between having a fairly big, traditional extravaganza like what we originally planned (we have about $11k earmarked for a wedding from selling my truck, but otherwise don't have a huge income and I'm in school) or doing something like taking a trip somewhere, "eloping" and having a small reception back home.

So I'd like to hear from ladies that have been married a while what their thoughts are on this. If you had a big wedding, do you feel like it would have been wiser to have saved that money for other financial goals (getting out of debt, downpayment for house, investing, etc)? Or if you did have something simple and small, do you wish you would have made it bigger and fancier with all your friends and family? Does it even matter anymore a year later?

I hope that made sense. I am just trying to figure out what I'm going to be most at peace with a year+ from now. Thanks!

Artemischief · February 2014

@PayneJ09 (I'm June 2014) from what I've read on these boards, whatever you do, DO NOT tell your guests what to wear, unless you are getting married in the middle of a field and want to warn your guests that heels may not be a good idea. Also, send a thank you as you receive gifts...shower, wedding, etc. if a person gives a gift on each occasion they should receive two thank you notes. (If they give two gifts at the wedding, send one thank you mentioning both gifts). I hope this helped

lovefuzzies · March 2014

Hi ladies!

Old married hag from 2013 here. @PayneJ09 I said something about we didn't care what our guests wore as long as they came and had a good time. I wouldn't recommend telling them black tie only, women should wear blue 6 inch heels or whatever. I definitely sent thank yous to everyone who gave us gifts.

@FiancB we paid for our own wedding and this was my third. I went against what I guess you'd call "societal norms" and had a big wedding. We invited about 350 guests and many of them showed up. H and I decided that, while it probably would have benefited us more monetarily to have NOT had the large wedding we wouldn't have wanted it any other way. It was fun and fantastic and despite all the drama we had we look back fondly on our wedding day with no second guessing what we did. That's what was right for US. It's different for each person and you should make that decision with your FI based on how you both feel and what you both want. My H and I did not take an extravagant honeymoon like we'd originally planned because he got laid off prior to the wedding and we had to cut back somewhere but we're planning an extravagant anniversary trip either this year or next so that will make up for it. And we did take a small honeymoon which was a lot of fun. Like I said, it really depends on what you believe is most important. H and I wanted to celebrate in a large fashion, and we did. And we have the wonderful memories from that celebration to always look back on.

melissanjoe21 · March 2014

Congrats from another June 2013

I agree don't tell people what to wear.
I didn't have a bridal shower but I would send thank you cards for both.

sparkles776 · March 2014

Another June 2013er here.

yea, I definitely wouldn't include what guests should wear on your wedding website or anywhere else. The majority of people know how to dress for a wedding.

@FiancB I think you need to do what you think you will be most at peace with. Honestly, I think a year later it doesn't matter at all, it just matters that you are married. I did have a big wedding, or as we like to call it a PPD (pretty princess day) and although I had a good time at my wedding, I would have had an equally good time eloping or having a small wedding because its about who you are marrying and starting your life with. A year later I can honestly say I would have been happy with whatever as long as I was married to my guy in the end. The wedding is just one day of your life. After the wedding you totally switch gears immediately and begin your life together, that might include starting a family, buying a house, etc, and the money might be better spent towards these things. In our group, we have quite a few members that are expecting a baby and lots of ladies buying houses. My H and I did absolutely not deplete our savings for our wedding, we had a separate wedding account. If that is the position you are in, I would definitely not do it.

cnf2013 · March 2014

HI! 13'er here.

I second all of the above on what to wear and thank you cards.

As for the money thing, it really depends on the couple. We had the whole big shabang that ended up being around 30K. However, we already had purchased a home together two years prior, both had new vehicles, renovated said home, etc. We had zero major financial decisions or payments to be made after the wedding, so we had no qualms dropping the cash for the big day.

Greetings from June 2013!!

Re: Greetings from June 2013!!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards