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Odd comments on registering?

AllOnOneDayAllOnOneDay member
Name Dropper First Comment 5 Love Its
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
First - I know, we are registering way too early for most people. But, families both use that for any gift occasions from engagement to wedding and after. So, registered for pretty reliable lines, not much outside of what is norm in family for early shopping.

But, the sales woman who "helped" had two comments. One was plain rude, and I'm not sure where to go. The other, I'll start with.

It's just the registering too early. It's tacky, nothing will be around in December 2015.

I can handle tacky, it's only for family who all but plead for the list. It's certainly not going out far and wide. But - we tried to pick lines that have long term stability. They've been around for years. Is this a huge concern?

But, the real issue. As we finish up, she turns to me and announces the point of getting married is to get a better name, not a worse one.

Seriously? I'm just stuck in WTF still. DF is voting to cancel registery with store. I partly agree, but said store is the easiest for families to use. I don't want to start as a bridezilla, but inappropriate is inappropriate.

Help? Even if just to point out I'm being an obsessive bridezilla.
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Re: Odd comments on registering?

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    Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    1. Sales lady was a flat out bitch, I'd report her and possibly look into other stores to register.
    2. It's nobody's business when you register and why you are doing it early. It sounds like you had good reasons to.
    3. You marry someone because you love them and they are right for you, not because of their last name, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Sorry that sales lady was straight out of line!
    4. WTF!!!!
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    HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Yes, you're registering early, but my family is the same way; I got a crap-ton of registry stuff for my birthday.

    I would report the sale associate to the manager and then look into registering elsewhere if at all possible.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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    SomethingBeautiful08SomethingBeautiful08 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    If it was just that one person in the store, I would call, ask for a manager and explain the treatment that you got and that you will not deal with this person for future dealing in the store.  When you go to the store to add more items etc, stick to it.  If she is the only working in that department, have another clerk or even ask her to call for a manager to find someone else that can give you proper service.  We had to do this with the jewelry store we went to, one of the clerks was rude to us, so when we went into purchase we had to ask the manager for a different clerk. 
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    mbross3mbross3 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    ICK! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. How rude! I would definitely report her to a manager. I don't know if I would switch the registry to a different store, it depends on how much you like the store and what you registered for. If switching will end up just punishing you and your FI (as in you end up not being able to get what you want because it was only available at that store) then I wouldn't do it. However, I would mention to a manager that her attitude was so off-putting that you're considering moving your registry to a different store. 
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    InkdancerInkdancer member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Honestly you can register whenever you want. Registries are good for weddings, but they're just lists of stuff you want... people can make them or buy stuff from them anytime.

    But yeah, she was way out of line on the last name thing.
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    saacjwsaacjw member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    AllOnOneDay said:
    Thanks! I will report to her supervisor. I think to save family hassle, especially since some are international, it's best to stay with the store, but we can go do further registering at another location. I was just going I don't want to be bridezilla but... Literally why we registered - my Grammy called, we talked a bit about other things. Grammy - Oh, where are you and DF registered at? Me - Grammy, wedding is in December 2015. It's too early. Grammy - But, you have birthdays coming up soon! Me - Grammy... Grammy - Please sweetie? It'd be very nice to have a list. Me - Fine... We'll go this weekend. Grammy - Thank you sweetie! Goes back to original conversation. Really, I am quite good at saying No. Just not to my Grammy.
    No judgement here. My mom and grandmother STILL go to our registry to get presents and probably will until every single thing is gone from it. 
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    AllOnOneDayAllOnOneDay member
    Name Dropper First Comment 5 Love Its
    I left a voicemail for the store manager. I'm debating going regional, but I'll give the store a chance.

    The name issue just gets me in a lather. Seriously, I'm old enough that it's just as likely I'd be keeping my name. But, I'll gladly take DF's "worse" name because at least it's not QUITE so strange with my first name. Love my parents, but Swedish first, Japanese middle, German last name. Swedish first with Finnish last sounds nicer to me. Plus, any kids will have the "weird" last name, I don't want to hyphenate my 8 letter name to his 11 letter name and that insanity.
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    Rebl90Rebl90 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    AllOnOneDay said:
    Well, Mr Store Manager feels she can express her opinion. I said fine. Then went to other location (with my kid, eep! She's into climbing everything. She behaved via bribery.) Got head clerk.Explained I wanted to cancel. She went for manager. I called Grammy to not have her buy there and please don't share, then let kid talk to Grammy. Manager trots over. I explain why. Did cancel the registry, and had me set up appointment with regional next week. Now to register somewhere else. It's really common items yet, no big deal. Other than time. I'm a bitch and proud of it. At least my little monkey behaved. Then we got ice cream and came home.

    *STUCK IN BOX*

    You are awesome for not letting this go.  That store manager was incorrect, that is not an appropriate opinion for that salesperson to share.  I'm glad you are still pursuing the matter because I personally feel that many (different) store managers tend to have incorrect attitudes regarding what is appropriate and feel that they have final say in this kind of situation. No one has the right to demean anyone for anything, especially their name.
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    chiualoverchiualover member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary

    I am so shocked at this behavior. I am a registry consultant in a better department store. I cannot believe this clerk said either thing to you! Was the clerk in the registry department or sales. I am just curious.

    Please let us know how this plays out.

    (it's also killing me to not know what store this was)

     

     

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    jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    AllOnOneDay said:
    Well, Mr Store Manager feels she can express her opinion. I said fine. Then went to other location (with my kid, eep! She's into climbing everything. She behaved via bribery.) Got head clerk.Explained I wanted to cancel. She went for manager. I called Grammy to not have her buy there and please don't share, then let kid talk to Grammy. Manager trots over. I explain why. Did cancel the registry, and had me set up appointment with regional next week. Now to register somewhere else. It's really common items yet, no big deal. Other than time. I'm a bitch and proud of it. At least my little monkey behaved. Then we got ice cream and came home.

    Unbelievable! I'm glad you aren't letting it drop and that you cancelled your registry with them. I would so never shop there again.
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    monkeysipmonkeysip member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    OMG I can't believe  the manager supported the rude clerk.

    Good for you for dropping your registry there and for taking it further!  That's ridiculous.

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    AllOnOneDayAllOnOneDay member
    Name Dropper First Comment 5 Love Its
    I'm thinking that since regional corporate was VERY interested, there may be other issues.

    Yes, I still like the store. I'm not finding this to be a massive issue company wide yet, so I don't find it right to bash the company. If some major fixes take place, I'll potentially redo the registry. I'm weird, but honestly, this has been the easiest company for non North American family to work with, so while I expect and deserve nothing more than a congratulations - reality is certain members are extremely likely to use a registry list and I don't want to give them grief because two grouchy strangers pissed me off.

    Plus, I'll admit it. I probably look like a spoiled pretty, pretty princess "It's about ME!" sort. I'm spoiled, but I've worked my rear off to get here. Everything else - well, not so much. Yes, I wore a very cute and girly dress, girly sandals and all to register - hey, it was a date with DF without the monkey child. I was wearing cute and slightly impractical as such. I'm usually in jeans and boots otherwise.

    Will update post regional visit.
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    grumbledoregrumbledore member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    AllOnOneDay said:
    Well, Mr Store Manager feels she can express her opinion. I said fine. Then went to other location (with my kid, eep! She's into climbing everything. She behaved via bribery.) Got head clerk.Explained I wanted to cancel. She went for manager. I called Grammy to not have her buy there and please don't share, then let kid talk to Grammy. Manager trots over. I explain why. Did cancel the registry, and had me set up appointment with regional next week. Now to register somewhere else. It's really common items yet, no big deal. Other than time. I'm a bitch and proud of it. At least my little monkey behaved. Then we got ice cream and came home.
    Good for you.  I would have done exactly the same thing.  Frankly I would send a complaint to their corporate office complaining about both of them, because that's horrible customer service and they should be disciplined for treating a customer that way.  I hate bad customer service.

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    NerdyLucyNerdyLucy member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    The name comment irks me.  It's just simply none of her business.

    Officially hitched as of 10/25/13

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    SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Holy rude! Both the sales associate and the manager.

    Talking about your name was not appropriate. Telling you that you are registering too early is silly- you think they'd want the sales! When I went to BB&B they mentioned more than once about how anything can be bought at any time and how the registry remains for 1 year and how it's so great for family to continue to use for birthdays and Christmas. 

    As for the early registry- it is fine, just keep an eye on it closer to your wedding date and update any items that may no longer be carried. There may be some instances where a product is not available at a certain store, but in most cases they can find a product somewhere and ship it. 
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    lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2014
    AllOnOneDay said:
    I'm thinking that since regional corporate was VERY interested, there may be other issues. Yes, I still like the store. I'm not finding this to be a massive issue company wide yet, so I don't find it right to bash the company. If some major fixes take place, I'll potentially redo the registry. I'm weird, but honestly, this has been the easiest company for non North American family to work with, so while I expect and deserve nothing more than a congratulations - reality is certain members are extremely likely to use a registry list and I don't want to give them grief because two grouchy strangers pissed me off. Plus, I'll admit it. I probably look like a spoiled pretty, pretty princess "It's about ME!" sort. I'm spoiled, but I've worked my rear off to get here. Everything else - well, not so much. Yes, I wore a very cute and girly dress, girly sandals and all to register - hey, it was a date with DF without the monkey child. I was wearing cute and slightly impractical as such. I'm usually in jeans and boots otherwise. Will update post regional visit.
    I DGAF what you looked like or what you wore when you registered. They should not treat ANYONE that way. I'm appalled that the manager did not apologize to you and tell you they would make sure this did not happen again. What. TheFuck.

    ETA: Please keep us posted on what regional says!
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    PhoneCardLadyPhoneCardLady member
    Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    Not really etiquette/wedding related, I always try to make sure the person gets what they want.  I am a phone operator for a major hospital and I get my share of irate customers/patients.  They always think that going to the top is the only way to get results.

    I try to get stuff out of people, explaining I need to know what the problem exactly is so that I get them to the correct person.  Some are easy and others aren't.  Last week a guy threatened to sue the hospital with a well known lawyer who is a friend of his.  He wanted to talk to someone in administration .  I told him I needed to know exactly what his problem was so I could put him to the right person.  I said I didn't have a name but gave him a direct number to call if we got disconnected, and if the problem to call back and to ask for me personally and I would help him to see where to go next.

    He did call back while I was on break - to thank me for taking the time to assist him and that the problem was resolved without having to go to the top.  That makes me feel good.

    It shouldn't be any different when starting a registry.  I don't know if people get commission on items that are sold off the list - all I know is that I want the person/couple registering to have a good experience, gets recommendations on what they need/don't need, and to get the most for what they need to register for.  Pressuring for and/or ignoring a sale is unthinkable.
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    AllOnOneDayAllOnOneDay member
    Name Dropper First Comment 5 Love Its
    So - update.

    Apparently, the clerk is rather notorious for being crass, but corporate wasn't getting reports from her store and customers didn't want to bother, so they were stuck.

    Not anymore! Store manager, assistant manager during her usual shift, her manager and she are out of a job.

    However, while it was the only fix I would have found acceptable, we won't go back, nor is family. Two huge families. Who are filled with people who love to shop off registries. Which are also the ones who have a good bit of discretionary income. It may be a very big lake, but it's a few drops at least.

    Because, with a pretty bad record - why did it take me going evil bitch queen to fix the problem? Other stores filed reports on her, but not her store, doesn't count. Customers didn't bother to be a pest, ignore it. Sorry, but that's bad business. Because how many just said screw it, left and didn't complain? Because being a racist pig doesn't win favors - and my evil side says last name ending in -laäsko is pretty obviously Scandinavian, not Mexican at least in my world.

    Macy's has been good to work with. DF's great aunt couldn't figure out the website, but customer service was quite helpful she said. His family apparently are wanting to wipe out what was on the other registry for a come back. FFIL is making a dang spreadsheet of everything that he's going to send corporate so they can see the actual loss. Ugh. Honestly, I get their reasoning. But, I'm not sure I like this. Oh well, they're all adults and if they go too crazy, the domestic abuse shelter or the drug rehab shelter can always use household items. I know I won't talk them out of whatever they want to do.
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