"Dollar Dance" - need ideas

PutridzPrincess · March 2014

Alright, I have seen the other postings about dollar dance alternatives but they really didn't help with my concerns. I am Polish and have grown up with this tradition of every guest getting a chance to dance with the bride and the bride getting a chance to thank everyone and laugh with her guests. I always imagined and waited for my chance to do that. However, I can't ask my guest for more money, its tacky. Everyone other than immediate family & friends is coming from way out of town and everyone will likely already be providing a gift so asking them to spend cash to dance with me is rude. I get that. SO, my concern is how can I dance and have fun with everyone without asking for money? Can I ask them to do something else to dance with me? If so what? I understand that I could just go around and ask everyone to dance but that's tacky too. Are there any ideas out there to have a "dollar dance" but without the dollar part?? Or should I just give it up and play dance music and except whatever happens?

Thanks.

JaxInBlue · March 2014

I would just try to be out on the dance floor as much as possible and dance with as many people as you can. I've seen alternatives such as a "wishes" dances - where people write down wishes and trade those for dances - but, IMO, can create an environment where some people might also want to give money.

lunarx42 · March 2014

Instead of asking them for money, you could give each person you dance with a flower or some other small item.

CMGragain · March 2014

I really don't have a problem with a traditional dollar dance IF it is a part of your family culture, and IF most of your guests are familiar with the tradition. It really isn't about the money any more. It is a fun way of giving a sort of blessing to the bride. What can you buy with a dollar these days?
I would object to it if it was done at a wedding where most guests weren't familiar with the tradition, or if the bride's family was from a culture that didn't do this normally.

QueerFemme · March 2014

PutridzPrincess said:

Alright, I have seen the other postings about dollar dance alternatives but they really didn't help with my concerns. I am Polish and have grown up with this tradition of every guest getting a chance to dance with the bride and the bride getting a chance to thank everyone and laugh with her guests. I always imagined and waited for my chance to do that. However, I can't ask my guest for more money, its tacky. Everyone other than immediate family & friends is coming from way out of town and everyone will likely already be providing a gift so asking them to spend cash to dance with me is rude. I get that. SO, my concern is how can I dance and have fun with everyone without asking for money? Can I ask them to do something else to dance with me? If so what? I understand that I could just go around and ask everyone to dance but that's tacky too. Are there any ideas out there to have a "dollar dance" but without the dollar part?? Or should I just give it up and play dance music and except whatever happens?

Thanks.

You could do an "advice" dance. Like, each person that dances with you writes down a piece of marital advice "Don't go to bed angry" sort of thing.

RebeccaB88 · March 2014

Play good music, and be on the dance floor with them. That's all you need to do. I'm Polish too and I would NEVER do anything that remotely resembled a dollar dance, not even an advice dance. Just...no. (Although the advice dance isn't an altogether bad idea, just too close for me. It would be too easy for someone to try to slip me a $20 along with the advice.)

QueerFemme · March 2014

RebeccaB88 said:
Play good music, and be on the dance floor with them. That's all you need to do.

I'm Polish too and I would NEVER do anything that remotely resembled a dollar dance, not even an advice dance. Just...no. (Although the advice dance isn't an altogether bad idea, just too close for me. It would be too easy for someone to try to slip me a $20 along with the advice.)

I actually agree with your whole people will try to slip money thing. If it were me, I'd skip it all together. But I have found that for people who have had the dollar dance as a family tradition, they need a replacement or old Uncle Al is going to start it on his own.

Jen4948 · March 2014

Use play money rather than real money.

ElcaB · March 2014

What's wrong with having your DJ announce that anyone who'd like the chance to dance with the bride should gather on the dance floor? Then, in the same way you would a typical dollar dance, just have them line up, dance with you for a few seconds, then the next person cuts in.

jenna8984 · March 2014

I agree with @cmgragain My best friend is from Greece and that's 100% part of their traditional wedding. Telling her not to have the dollar dance is like telling her not to walk around the alter with the crowns. If that is your culture and everyone expects it, go ahead and do it!!

The fake money is a really good suggestion. Othrwise I'd just make a point to hug and thank everyone at their tables and then be on the dance floor for whomever wants to come dance.

EllieAugust · March 2014

Since we don't have a lot of single people coming to our wedding, we are using the Bouquet and garter toss as a way to "win" a dance with the Bride and Groom. I know it only offers one person a dance. But I saw it at another wedding, and it opened up the floor for everyone who "almost" caught the bouquet to ask the bride to save them a dance.

ladybird29 · March 2014

I'm not a fan of the dollar dance. I hadn't heard of it before coming to the Knot and at first thought it was a joke. Then I made the mistake of saying, "Can you believe people do that? OMG, in my world, dancing for money is called...." only to find out the girl I was talking to had done one at her wedding. She said, "it's the only way you can really get a chance to talk to everyone. Oh, and you make a ton!" Really? The ONLY way to talk to your guests is to have them come up and dance with you in exchange for money? Gross, no thanks. If that's part of your culture - do what you want to do - but I would never feel comfortable doing anything like this - whether it's fake money, advice, five hundred dollar bills, whatever.

wabanzi · March 2014

jenna8984 said: I agree with @cmgragain My best friend is from Greece and that's 100% part of their traditional wedding. Telling her not to have the dollar dance is like telling her not to walk around the alter with the crowns. If that is your culture and everyone expects it, go ahead and do it!! The fake money is a really good suggestion. Othrwise I'd just make a point to hug and thank everyone at their tables and then be on the dance floor for whomever wants to come dance.

I've attended two Greek weddings held in the U.S. in which they upheld this tradition. The ritual was briefly explained in the program for the non-Greek guests (or anyone unfamiliar with it). They also added language that it was a chance to dance with the bride and/or groom, and one need not give money to do so (but don't be surprised when some of the family does).

I don't think people are that fragile and can understand, even appreciate, other culture's traditions. I never thought of it as tacky in these circumstances.

[edited b/c sometimes stuck in the box, sometimes no box at all]

atlastmrsg · March 2014

ElcaB said:

What's wrong with having your DJ announce that anyone who'd like the chance to dance with the bride should gather on the dance floor? Then, in the same way you would a typical dollar dance, just have them line up, dance with you for a few seconds, then the next person cuts in.

Yes!

Blue_Bird · March 2014

lunarx42 said:

Instead of asking them for money, you could give each person you dance with a flower or some other small item.

I really like this idea. Start a new tradition: "The Flower Dance". You could have a basket of flowers in between you and your groom, and the D.J. could announce the dance. Then as each guest lines up, you hand him or her a flower and have a short dance with him.

Kallylilly3 · March 2014

I've never heard of this tradition, but I think it's absolutely acceptable to do it. It's your wedding day and you have every right to celebrate your heritage. I do like the idea of writing about it o the program so anyone unfamiliar understands what's going on. Or have a family member get up and announce it with a little explanation or a storey that tells everyone where it originated.

Kallylilly3 · March 2014

Or what if you took the dollar for each dance and gave it to a charity? That way you aren't messing with the tradition or profiting from it.

Jen4948 · March 2014

Kallylilly3 said:

Or what if you took the dollar for each dance and gave it to a charity? That way you aren't messing with the tradition or profiting from it.

Not acceptable, because weddings aren't fundraisers for charities any more than they are gift-grabbing opportunities for the couple. One does not expect one's guests to open their wallets at a hosted event.

mollyringwald15 · March 2014

Kallylilly3 said:

Or what if you took the dollar for each dance and gave it to a charity? That way you aren't messing with the tradition or profiting from it.

Please see previous posts about turning your wedding into a charitable event. This is similar to the "donation in lieu of favor" idea.

JCbride2015 · March 2014

Fi really wants to do a dollar dance, and I think they are incredibly tacky. Only one side of his family would understand the tradition (his mom's side) and everyone else would be horrified.

I LOVE the idea of a flower dance, in which we give our guests a flower. Seriously genius, I love it, I want to do it now.

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