I really thought my Mother-in-law and I where on really good terms until we got engaged. I am very laid back and would do anything for anyone ,but this women has pushed the limit with me. I am having a medium size wedding which my parents are helping pay for. I come from a large family and know that my parents don't have a lot of money so I don't like asking for money, but my parents are so excited to help. My mom has helped me with a lot and I have tried to included my mother-in-law in some of the details since she only has boys and this will be one of the only times for her to be a part of this because here other son does not ever want to get married. She has acted complete uninterested so I stopped trying. We had our parents make lists of how they would like us to invite so we could do our guest list. My parents are not divorced like my Fiance's family so this was easier for them. So my fiance and I went through and picked who we wanted there and sent out save the dates. My parents and my fiance dad and step mom where fine with this. My mother-in-law has complete lost it. she thinks she should have complete control over our guest list and is trying to tell us who to invite and who to dis invite. I have told my fiance he need to tell her to back off ,but he is trying to be respectful and she doesn't take him seriously. She is not paying for anything so far and my Fiance has asked her if she would and she says she has no money and cant afford anything ,but she goes out of town every weekend to drink and party. My frustration is that you say you don't have money but your going out of town every weekend? I know some people might say I judging her ,but She is trying to tell us how to spend out money so I don't care anymore. we had told her we cant afford to invite everyone and she has told us not to invite other people she her people can come. We said this is our guest list and we are not changing it. She finally got and now is saying she will pay for their plates. I thought you didn't have any money?
Then i find out while we are dealing with this that his grandmother had invited these people with out talking to us first and we where not going to be inviting them. So now his grandmother says she will pay for their plates. I want to know why all the sudden everyone has money cus they didn't before. I personally don't think that they are going to pay for it i think they are going to back out of paying for it at the last minute so is it wrong to tell them before I send out their invites I get the cash?
Another issue to my plate is that my mom and my fiances mom are friends and work together. My mom is not wanting to discuss the wedding at work ,but my mother-in-law keeps making rude comments about our guest list, our rehearsal dinner, and comments about me. OK she isn't stupid so why would she do this my mother tells me everything. My mom feels so uncomfortable at work and I feel bad. I don't think I can take 6 more month of this without letting here have it. she deserves it complete, especially because she tries to guilt trip us with everything. Why cant she be like his step-mom who is loving and kind and is just happy to be included. I don't know what to do? Everyone I have talked to tells me to let her have it ,but I am tying to be respectful.