Dress Stress

ElcaB · March 2014

The short(ish) version:

I thought I found my dress but realized I'm uncomfortable with the price. It's not over-budget; I just didn't know I'd have so much trouble with the idea of forking over so much money for something I'll wear once (I'm kind of frugal).

I've been casually dress searching for the past year, but I'm having trouble finding something I love (other than the one mentioned above) and falls within a price range I'm more comfortable with. The thing is, I'm running out of time. Our wedding is only seven months away and I need to figure out what the hell I'm wearing. I never imagine finding a dress would be so hard. Advice? Feedback? Thoughts?

kaos16 · March 2014

shrekspeare said:
Get bridals done! That's really what helped me out. My mom had booked our photographer and a bridal session for me before I found it, and justifying that I could wear my dress twice-helped me get over sticker shock.

Also, Kiera Knightley shortened hers and has been wearing it to premieres. I obviously don't know if you attend those sort of things, but I think if you get the right kind of dress, you can do that too!

Actually, if I remember correctly, Keira Knightley wore the dress for an event or two then got married in it.

OP, maybe look into Rent the Runway or something to see if you can rent a fab dress instead of buying it since it will likely only be worn once.

Maggie0829 · March 2014

What is the dress that you found? Have you looked online for preowned versions of it? You could also talk to the salon (after looking the dress over and making sure that it was okay) about buying the sample and see what they have to say and what they would offer you.

ElcaB · March 2014

Maggie0829 said:

What is the dress that you found? Have you looked online for preowned versions of it? You could also talk to the salon (after looking the dress over and making sure that it was okay) about buying the sample and see what they have to say and what they would offer you.

I've found it for sale on preowned sites, but not in (or close enough to) my size. Their sample size didn't even come close to fitting. Womp, womp.

Maggie0829 · March 2014

ElcaB said:

Maggie0829 said:

What is the dress that you found? Have you looked online for preowned versions of it? You could also talk to the salon (after looking the dress over and making sure that it was okay) about buying the sample and see what they have to say and what they would offer you.

I've found it for sale on preowned sites, but not in (or close enough to) my size. Their sample size didn't even come close to fitting. Womp, womp.

Boo. Dumb, too small for normal people to fit into, sample sizes.

phira · March 2014

More info? Link to the dress? Dress preferences you have? We can help you search.

I was really not terribly happy at spending almost $700 (not including the eventual, entirely unavoidable alterations) on my dress, but I'm in an unusual situation (was looking for a very particular shape/style in navy blue that was not a bridesmaid dress), so I felt like I could either fork over all the money or I'd have to find a white dress. It is nice that, because my dress is an evening gown in blue, I'll likely be able to wear it again, but honestly ... when am I going to where a GIANT formal gown besides my wedding?

pumpkinsandturkeys · March 2014

I actually found a local consignment bridal salon near me, and that's where I got my dress from; she carried only sample dresses and near-perfect consignment dresses. Maybe instead of finding a pre-owned dress online, there's a physical consignment bridal salon near you?

Peaseblossom55 · March 2014

Can you try to see if a local tailor or dress maker could replicate the dress?

CrazyCatLady3 · March 2014

ElcaB said:

The short(ish) version:

I thought I found my dress but realized I'm uncomfortable with the price. It's not over-budget; I just didn't know I'd have so much trouble with the idea of forking over so much money for something I'll wear once (I'm kind of frugal).

I've been casually dress searching for the past year, but I'm having trouble finding something I love (other than the one mentioned above) and falls within a price range I'm more comfortable with. The thing is, I'm running out of time. Our wedding is only seven months away and I need to figure out what the hell I'm wearing. I never imagine finding a dress would be so hard. Advice? Feedback? Thoughts?

To help you rationalize buying the dress:

1) You love it

2) Yes, you will only wear it for one day, but you will look at pictures of yourself in it for a lifetime

3) You could re-sell it after the wedding and recoup some of the money

Post a pic so we can see!

ElcaB · March 2014

The dress I love is the WTOO Ariane:

It's definitely not a dress I'd have ever considered just by looking at it, but once I put it on I got The Feels.

@CrazyCatLady3, you said everything my best friends have said to me. They actually convinced me to buy it a couple times, but then I kept convincing myself not to. I'm definitely going to try to resell any dress I buy, but unfortunately there is no guarantee I'll be able to do so.

TBH, just "talking" about it to some fellow brides on here is helping. My mom is all, "Oh, I just think that's so much money/you can find such a better price." My aunt said, "(*Long pause.*) Interesting. I just always pictured you in something vintage." Their comments are just making my decision harder.

There is one seller on Tradesy I'm communicating with about another dress I really liked when I tried it on (on a scale of 1-10, it's a 7.5). She's selling it at an amazing price, but I don't want to get my hopes up too high in case it doesn't work out.

blabla89 · March 2014

Could you take photos of it to a seamstress to see about having something similar custom made? It may or may not be cheaper, but it could be worth a shot.

CrazyCatLady3 · March 2014

That's a beautiful, classic dress that would appeal to many brides. I really think you would be able to recoup some money because that should be easy to re-sell. What size are you?

It's none of your mom's/aunt's business what you spend (assuming they're not paying for it). I had a similar problem on the opposite end. I found a dress I loved at about the price point I was willing to go up to, and I could tell my mom didn't like the dress. She kept trying to give me doubts about the dress and push another dress that she liked better (that cost $3k more!!!) but finally I just stopped talking to her about the dress and bought the one I wanted.

I don't think you would be able to save much to have that remade by a seamstress here due to the fabric and labor costs. An individual seamstress does not have the same economies of scale as a dress manufacturer.

jenna8984 · March 2014

I was the same way......I had a budget in my mind since I'm frugal and paying for the entire wedding myself. So when I found the dress I absolutely loved it was $100 over budget. I obviously was not going to walk away from that but in my mind I kept thinking man, I was hoping to spend the low end of the budget, not the high end of the budget. And my best friend was like don't be a crazy pants, with your specific/ picky taste you're never going to find one like this for cheaper. I also didn't find any on pre-owned sites since it's a new collection.

But it's true that you may only wear it for one day but you'll look at the pictures forever. I am debating maybe wearing mine for a 5th or 10th anniversary if it still fits! Not a PPD- I just have in my mind like bringing it to Jamaica and wearing it for a sunset stroll on the beach- is that weird? hahah

cupcait927 · March 2014

I am regretting not buying the dress of my dreams that was slightly over my budget. It was the first dress I tried on, was a style that I have been in love with forever, it made my mom cry and I couldn't bring myself to spend the money. I did buy a lovely dress from DB that will look beautiful when I get married and was a more tolerable cost but I cannot stop thinking about my dream dress. I have looked for preowned and I'm tempted to call the salon to inquire about the sample. It might be a lot of money but if you don't get it, you'll end up like me, dreaming about the dress and crying because you didn't buy it.

wandajune6 · March 2014

I think this comes down to what kind of bride you are. If having the absolute perfect dress is incredibly important to you, make it work. If the dress isn't your biggest priority, save the money for something that you're more passionate about. For me, the dress wasn't my biggest priority. I wanted to feel beautiful but there were a number of dresses that fit the bill. TBH, I occasionally have to look at pictures of the dress online and on my phone so I can remember what it looked like. I still spent more money on my dress than I planned but I realized later it was because I under-budgeted ridiculously. Everyone has at least one (or a few) things they're truly passionate about. You just need to figure out what you are!

FutureMr&MrsG · March 2014

Gorgeous dress!

ElcaB · March 2014

Thanks, @FutureMr&MrsG! I just love it so much, and even though I'm sure there are 100+ like it, I think it's so unique.

mollyringwald15 · March 2014

You got THE FEELS. I say get it, you've been looking for awhile and haven't found anything else. Sounds like this dress will be in the back of your mind.

This is a gown that many women would love and I think it would be easy to resell online to recoup costs.

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