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Hosting a Baby Shower

wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I should probably ask this on TB, but I don't know anyone over there, and I like you guys and your opinions.

So.

My BFF/MOH called me last night to let me know she is pregnant. OMG YAY.  /Kermit dance   I am super excited for her and her H. This is their first baby, so the excitement is at frenzy level right now.

I have a question, though:

Who typically hosts the baby shower? 

I would love to throw one for her, but is this something that's generally thrown by the family? She doesn't have any sisters, but she does have sisters-in-law. Every time I get an invitation to a baby shower, it's from a sister or aunt. Would I be stepping on toes? 

I'm really close to her mother, and we often joke that I'm the big sister my friend never had. Would it be okay to ask her mom if she wants to plan something together, or would it be better to wait and see and then offer to help (financially and with setup/teardown) once there's something in the works?

Obviously, we have some time, as she's not due until September, but I want to start saving/budgeting for this if it's okay to do so. Summer always goes SO fast for me, and I was thinking of doing this in July or August.

HALP.
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Re: Hosting a Baby Shower

  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I've thrown baby showers for my friends, so of course I think it's okay.

    It's also considered rude in parts of my circle for moms to throw showers. Some include sisters in there. Other parts if my circle don't care.

    I'd offer to throw one and go from there.
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  • KittyKaty20KittyKaty20 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper

    Yay!

    And I would ask her mother/tell her mother that you are over-the-moon-excited for MOH/BFF and you would love to host/co-host/etc. Since you're pretty close to her, it shouldn't be awkward.

    Side note, my BFF is due in mid-August and I'll be offering to co-host with her twin sister/BFF. Yay for babies!

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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Okay, awesome. Maybe it's just common for the sister(s) to host in my family/group of friends. I honestly never thought anything of it, other than how sweet it was to have a nice party for their sister.
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I'd just ask her mom, if you're close. When my friends have had babies, it's usually been mothers or sisters or mothers-in-law who have thrown the showers, but I don't think there's a restriction on who can host it.

    Congrats to your friend!!
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • jdluvr06jdluvr06 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    If you want to host a baby shower I think you should. In my circle it isn't uncommon for a mom-to-be to have more than one shower thrown by different people for different people. That sounded odd but like when my sister was pregnant my mom and I threw her a shower for our family, her MIL threw one for their family, and her friend threw her one that was only friends.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Anyone can host.  (Except sometimes mothers).  I'm actually co-hosting one for my sister and one for a friend this spring.  My mom was uncomfortable with hosting my sister's, but she gave us some "secret" money anyway.  My friend's is co-hosted by her mother, MIL, and another friend.  

    I would ask your friend about throwing her a shower.  If her family is offering, she'll tell you.  She may also want separate showers for friends and family.
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  • lookame3639lookame3639 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    You can offer to host a shower or you could offer to co host a shower. Some women have multiple showers (however I'm not sure if that's is appropriate etiquette) if there are multiple showers I would ask for a list of guests that weren't invited to other showers.

    From what I remember on the bump (I'm bouncing in between here and the bump because I'm due in Aug and planning a Nov wedding as well) things not appropriate are requesting certain items, Facebook inviting, requesting diapers for a "diaper raffle" or other type of item (like a drink cup ect), asking for books instead of cards, showers for second babies (although this can waver on the bump it's a Bing no - no no matter what the circumstance, some think it's ok if there is a significant amount of time in between kids-5 plus years or if it's a "thing" for church goers as a time for fellowship or if your work does a a shower for every baby), sprinklers and "gender/sex reveals" are also frowned upon. I think i covered the main faux pax from the shower board...
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