GROOM/GROOMSMEN ATTIRE 911

Re: GROOM/GROOMSMEN ATTIRE 911

• CMGragain member

  

  March 2014

  Please forget about the barefoot thing.  Your groomsmen are not Hobbits.
  I like the enchantment theme, but this IS a wedding.  Your dress sounds quite formal.  I would expect the men to wear dark suits, white shirts, ties of choice, and dress shoes.  If you want to get whimsical, you could add brocade vests, but you might have to have them custom made.
  

  

  Report1 Reply
• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  March 2014

  stephalovely said:

  Our wedding thing is dark enchanted forest. We are taking inspiration from: eleven, lord of the rings, Harry potter, corpse bride, woodland creatures, fairies, gnomes, princes, princesses, witches, Grimm fairy tales etc. in an effort to create our own fantasy. We are doing all of this while still trying to maintain A FEW traditional elements and not be TOO themed or costumey. It is a struggle. I will be wearing an ivory and champagne lace dress with Swarovski elements. It is traditional to an extent, but also very eleven and different. I will also be wearing an elven style forehead circlet. My bridesmaids will be wearing floor length chiffon a dresses, each in a different one of our wedding colors. They are very flown and woodland fairyesque, but in rich, dark colors. None of the girls will be wearing shoes, (just barefoot sandals) including me. Now begins my problems... Now that we're not wearing shoes, it seems weird for the guys to wear shoes.. WHAT can my groom and his groomsmen wear that is not too costumey, matches our theme, is casual enough to be barefoot, but formal enough to match the formality of our attire and the overall event? Please offer any advice, images or links that you can. I am losing my mind, and so are they lol THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS AND FOR YOUR HELP IN ADVANCE!!!!!!

  This is why themes are a bad idea, and when you get over-the-top ridiculous themes, it's even worse.

  
  

  You don't get to tell people to go barefoot. You just don't. I'm sorry. People may choose their own footwear and it's none of your business (other than, if you demand a specific shoe, you must pay for it).

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

  Report0 Reply
• AddieCake member

  

  March 2014

  I agree the men should be in dark suits, and they should definitely wear shoes. And I say this as someone who was barefoot at her wedding. 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  Report0 Reply
• stephalovely member

  

  March 2014

  Sorry, definitely not forgetting about the barefoot thing. The girls are wearing barefoot sandals and bringing flats to put on with them in case they need to at the reception. I just don't know what to tell the guys. They don't want to wear shoes either. I am having a pagan ceremony, and not wearing shoes to be more grounded which my fiance would love to do as well. But I am thinking some sort of fancy boots or something.

  Report0 Reply
• stephalovely member

  

  March 2014

  This is why making assumptions is a bad idea, you come across as a judgmental bitch when you don't really know the full situation. Our theme is in no way over the top or ridiculous. We are actually having minimal decorations and are mostly trying to portray our theme through our attire and a couple of things here and there. My lengthy description was simply to offer insight as to where inspiration can be drawn in giving me suggestions. When did I once say "I WILL ALLOW NO FOOTWEAR IN MY WEDDING!" Never. Calm down. The reality of the situation is that I'm not wearing shoes, so now nobody else wants to because it is grounding, fun,

  Report0 Reply
• stephalovely member

  

  March 2014

  I just hate to settle on plain dark suits. I wish guys weren't so limited when it comes to formalwear. I do agree that they SHOULD wear shoes. We're just trying to figure out their clothes in general. My fiance has dreads and HUGE stretched ear lobes, so he's really not the type to stick with something super basic lol. I LOVE the photos from your wedding! (:

  Report0 Reply
• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  March 2014

  We can only offer opinions based on your information.
  
  And you're not allowed to call people 'a judgemental bitch,' because that's against the TOS.
  
  @KnotPorscha

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

  Report0 Reply
• CMGragain member

  

  March 2014

  stephalovely said:

  This is why making assumptions is a bad idea, you come across as a judgmental bitch when you don't really know the full situation. Our theme is in no way over the top or ridiculous. We are actually having minimal decorations and are mostly trying to portray our theme through our attire and a couple of things here and there. My lengthy description was simply to offer insight as to where inspiration can be drawn in giving me suggestions. When did I once say "I WILL ALLOW NO FOOTWEAR IN MY WEDDING!" Never. Calm down. The reality of the situation is that I'm not wearing shoes, so now nobody else wants to because it is grounding, fun,

  When you post a question on an open internet forum, you are going to get honest opinions.  If you can't handle them, don't post.  I am familiar with pagan ceremonies, and I agree with HGF.  You are over the top with your theme.  This is a WEDDING, not a costume party.  Other people will feel the same, though they probably won't tell you to your face because they care about you.
  Go ahead with your barefoot costume party wedding if you must, but know that you have been advised by honest people who are trying to help you.
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• Blue_Bird member

  

  March 2014

  
  

  Report8 Reply
• lkristenj member

  

  March 2014

  stephalovely said:

  Sorry, definitely not forgetting about the barefoot thing. The girls are wearing barefoot sandals and bringing flats to put on with them in case they need to at the reception. I just don't know what to tell the guys. They don't want to wear shoes either. I am having a pagan ceremony, and not wearing shoes to be more grounded which my fiance would love to do as well. But I am thinking some sort of fancy boots or something.

  stephalovely said:

  I just hate to settle on plain dark suits. I wish guys weren't so limited when it comes to formalwear. I do agree that they SHOULD wear shoes. We're just trying to figure out their clothes in general. My fiance has dreads and HUGE stretched ear lobes, so he's really not the type to stick with something super basic lol. I LOVE the photos from your wedding! (:

  I have no suggestions on attire. It sounds like you have a vision for what you want your wedding to be and nothing we say will sway you. Personally, I could not imagine turning a wedding into a costume party, which it what your wedding sounds like to me. I've seen weddings held at Renaissance festivals and brides in fairy wings. It's not something I would do, but I know people do it.

  The people here on TK are trying to offer you helpful advice about ettiquite and what is appropriate and what is not. Can you ignore them? Sure, but usually to your own detriment. These people are regulars on the forums and know what they're talking about. They are usually right about these things. Still, no one can force you to change your wedding plans.

  Personally, as long as you are not being rude to your guests (or wedding party) and hosting them properly, I do not see much harm in having the wedding you like, even if it is over-the-top or cheesy. As long as you're also not making a mockery of marriage.  Your guests may not agree with how you choose to celebrate, but at the end of the day if they are comfortable and fed and treated well, you're not as bad off as some other brides on these forums.

  

  

  "They say there's no such place... as Paradise. Even if you search to the ends of the Earth, there's nothing there. No matter how far you walk, it's always the same road. It just goes on and on. But, in spite of that... Why am I so driven to find it? A voice calls to me... It says, 'Search for Paradise.' " - Kiba, Wolf's Rain

  Report0 Reply
• edandy member

  

  March 2014

  The knot has seen a lot of bridezillas and terrible themes and bad manners, so everyone is pretty quick to assume you are that way. Either you can roll with the punches, or you can explain yourself a lot better. It's not cool to call names, it makes you look bad. 

  Report2 Reply
• carliealissa member

  

  March 2014

  Please wear shoes.  It's gross enough when ladies get drunk at receptions and take off their shoes and dance in dirty bare feet.  Just imagining men, at a wedding of all things, without shoes on makes me want to gag. 

  It also does kind of make me think of hobbits.

   

  

  Report1 Reply
• KittyKaty20 member

  

  March 2014

  stephalovely said:

  Sorry, definitely not forgetting about the barefoot thing. The girls are wearing barefoot sandals and bringing flats to put on with them in case they need to at the reception. I just don't know what to tell the guys. They don't want to wear shoes either. I am having a pagan ceremony, and not wearing shoes to be more grounded which my fiance would love to do as well. But I am thinking some sort of fancy boots or something.

  OP-aside from how you totally went off on people who were giving you good advice, please see the bolded. If the girls are going barefoot, and the guys WANT to go barefoot, and your pagan ceremony makes you and FI feel like barefoot is the best choice, then...why are you going to make his groomsmen wear "fancy boots"? Just let everybody go barefoot, and enjoy your day.
  

  

  Report1 Reply
• tesgirl123 member

  

  March 2014

  Is your wedding outside?   That is literally the time I would find that remotely acceptable, and really only on the beach, where wearing shoes is difficult.  If any portion of your wedding is inside, you have to allow your guests and bridal party to allow shoes.   For the groomsmen, dark suits, with brocade vests.   You can rent them at Men's Warehouse.   You must allow them to wear shoes inside, most resturants, hotels require people to wear shoes for health code reasons.

  Report0 Reply
• doeydo member

  

  March 2014

  About the whole not wearing shoes thing, you and your bridesmaids feet will be filthy and let's hope that none of you step on anything sharp.  
  Examples for groom/groomsmen attire that might go with your theme:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  So, I think the footwear depends on what kind of outfit the groom and groomsmen will wear.

  
  

  Report3 Reply
• KittyKaty20 member

  

  April 2014

  @doeydo-you are the Queen of Photo Examples!

  Also, I'm totally chuckling, because one of the PP mentioned Hobbits, and you have a pic of Samwise Gangee's wedding...where he was in all his barefoot Hobbit glory.

  

  Report6 Reply
• LondonLisa member

  

  April 2014

  I just don't think it is fair to dictate to others that they cannot wear shoes. Personally, I think unless you are on a beach you should wear shoes, but I understand if you would prefer not to. If your groom doesn't want to either, well it could look a little silly with a suit but its only him that will look silly or be uncomfortable. As for the rest of your WP, you simply cannot dictate that they must not wear shoes. I think this is similar to saying you must wear a specific type of uncomfortable shoe, which is generally a no no. 

  
  

  Don't let a theme get in the way of the comfort of your friends! If you and your fi prefer to be barefoot, yes that is unorthodox and can be a little gross in certain contexts, so be it, but please don't insist your WP do it also in order to match your "look".

  Report0 Reply
• cambryn member

  

  April 2014

  Kilts are a safe bet. I have a few pagan friends who went that route for their wedding. The men wore boots. Goes well with this theme.
  
  Your language towards some of the people here was not very nice, though. Real shame.
  

  Report0 Reply
• lazykat9 member

  

  July 2014

   Let's give the bride the benefit of the doubt and overlook any testiness. I'm seeing the guys in mossy or brown pants, ivory shirts, brocade vests, four-in-hand ties-loose, and no jackets. Now, how strongly do they feel about being shoeless?  Suede would work well with forest theme.  I have to agree that barefoot groomsmen don't have quite the charm as the barefoot young maidens do.  Think of them as "woodsmen".  Good luck!

  Report0 Reply
• kns1988 member

  

  July 2014

  stephalovely I don't really have a suggestion because I have no idea, but have you checked out Offbeat Bride? I like to browse over there and they showcase a lot of Renaissance, Elven, woodsy, fairytale themes.

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• BlackFrost member

  

  September 2014

  Hopefully it's not to late for you and I compleately understand what your  going through lol (also having a period wedding) and it's sooooo easy to figure out everything for the girls but when it comes to the guys....it just starts looking cheap and Tacky T.T

  
  

  but i compleately get what your doing and one thing i'm thinking of, is so it doesn't seem like everyone is COMPLETELY barefoot lol what do you think about like for the girls they wear foot jewelry? or I think their called beach sandals which really just decorate the tops of the feet. And for the guys you could go to thrift stores or good will and find dress shoes, cut off the soles of the shoes and they just wear the top part over their feed with a strap on the bottom holding it together. That way it looks like they kind of have shoes and it also allows everyone to be grounded. Hope it helps and good luck with your wedding ^_^

  Report0 Reply
• ashley8918 member

  

  September 2014

  BlackFrost said:

  Hopefully it's not to late for you and I compleately understand what your  going through lol (also having a period wedding) and it's sooooo easy to figure out everything for the girls but when it comes to the guys....it just starts looking cheap and Tacky T.T

  
  

  but i compleately get what your doing and one thing i'm thinking of, is so it doesn't seem like everyone is COMPLETELY barefoot lol what do you think about like for the girls they wear foot jewelry? or I think their called beach sandals which really just decorate the tops of the feet. And for the guys you could go to thrift stores or good will and find dress shoes, cut off the soles of the shoes and they just wear the top part over their feed with a strap on the bottom holding it together. That way it looks like they kind of have shoes and it also allows everyone to be grounded. Hope it helps and good luck with your wedding ^_^

  UM. NO. NONONONONO

  
  

  Also, @beethery @slothiegal @Jells2dot0 @lyndausvi @... someone 

  
  

  Zombie Thread 

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• slothiegal member

  

  September 2014

  BE GONE ZOMBIE!

  

  
  

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• beethery member

  

  September 2014

  @ashley8918 I'm going to close this, but I will remark that it was hilarious start to finish, and the absolutely HORRENDOUS advice given is a treasure to behold.

  --

  
  I'm the fuck out.

  
  

  
  

  Report5 Reply