Train length for Friday black tie wedding

AllOnOneDay · March 2014

I'm lost on how long I need my train to be. Wedding is on a Friday, ceremony will start 5:30-5:45 pm, it will be about 45 minutes, cocktail hour will be 6:30 - 8:00, then dinner and reception from 8 - midnight, little more casual "youngsters" fun until 2-3 am or we all fall asleep. This is winter, it will be near dark if not full dark at 5:30, but it is Friday, and I'm not sure how much that impacts formality.

So with starting barely before 6 pm and a Friday - how long does my train need to be? I would rather have a longer veil, but none of the extreme length. Is dress ok with underskirt having no train at floor length or maybe a brush/sweep train, overskirt being on the shorter end of chapel train, then veil at longer end of chapel? Veil will be two layers, little past fingertip being worn all night because I want to wear a veil then the longer layer that will be removed.

I have my pretty, pretty fabric, but I don't want to cut until I'm sure on proper length for formality.

I can walk in a sweep train, had to learn thanks to my Mom. Part of me wants to wear a sweep all night in her honored memory, her dress had a lovely lace sweep that became our christening gowns.

phira · March 2014

I think y ou can wear whatever dress you want, with whatever train length you want.

CMGragain · March 2014

As long as your dress is floor-length, there are no rules about "must have" trains. It would be inappropriate to wear a cathedral length train to an informal morning ceremony.

AllOnOneDay · March 2014

Thanks! I was worried my love of all things girly was getting into PPD range. Which is probably way too easy for me, I don't have my Mom to grab my ear to drag me back to my senses and my FMIL is loving everything with this. I had to get too many bean dip recipes today, I was getting to the "I don't care what you think, I'm doing what I want" point.

I apologize in advance for further "AllOn is an uncivilized idiot, help please!" questions.

classyduck · March 2014

AllOnOneDay said:

... This is winter, it will be near dark if not full dark at 5:30, but it is Friday, and I'm not sure how much that impacts formality. So with starting barely before 6 pm and a Friday - how long does my train need to be? I would rather have a longer veil, but none of the extreme length. Is dress ok with underskirt having no train at floor length or maybe a brush/sweep train, overskirt being on the shorter end of chapel train, then veil at longer end of chapel? Veil will be two layers, little past fingertip being worn all night because I want to wear a veil then the longer layer that will be removed. I have my pretty, pretty fabric, but I don't want to cut until I'm sure on proper length for formality. I can walk in a sweep train, had to learn thanks to my Mom. Part of me wants to wear a sweep all night in her honored memory, her dress had a lovely lace sweep that became our christening gowns.

Oh my god. This thread was about to give me hives. I'm so, embarrassingly, "green", when it comes to social graces and etiquette, I was just horrified at the implications of the question here.

Train length? Time of day? Just past fingertips? Season? What, the merciful fuck. Sorry, OP, I'm happy you had your question answered, but I'm also happy that the responses tended to be along the lines of "Um, whatever, is fine." Because I just about went to the hospital lol.

AllOnOneDay · March 2014

Yeah, I probably phrased it bad. Sorry, was thinking in Finnish when posting. Question was supposed to read if having that long of train was acceptable on a Friday, starting before 6 pm (the black tie dividing line somewhat) but after dark (which can also impact black tie - dark is another diving line). I love dressing up, I love the chance to wear a brush or sweep train (my Mom explained a brush just brushes the ground, sweep sweeps behind you so it's slightly longer) in normal life. So on my one day to be all decked out and looking like a princess, I want a little bit longer train - not so much I need a train attendant but long enough DD could sit on it kind of.

But, I'm only going that far because hey, princess here. And I do not want to go PPD type at all. Which I thought I was pushing because I'm wearing an inappropriate train because dang it, I'm a princess and I can do what I demand - brideslaves, iron my train...

Yes, my etiquette issues run odd.

lookame3639 · March 2014

Your post got confusing in the middle for me. I think the concensus is for a formal affair you need a long dress (no tea lengths) as far as trains go you could have a brush, sweep, chaple, fishtail, I think maybe even a cathedral length train (but with cathedral you need to make sure the aisle is long enough for it).

PrettyGirlLost · March 2014

classyduck said:

AllOnOneDay said:

... This is winter, it will be near dark if not full dark at 5:30, but it is Friday, and I'm not sure how much that impacts formality.

So with starting barely before 6 pm and a Friday - how long does my train need to be? I would rather have a longer veil, but none of the extreme length. Is dress ok with underskirt having no train at floor length or maybe a brush/sweep train, overskirt being on the shorter end of chapel train, then veil at longer end of chapel? Veil will be two layers, little past fingertip being worn all night because I want to wear a veil then the longer layer that will be removed.

I have my pretty, pretty fabric, but I don't want to cut until I'm sure on proper length for formality.

I can walk in a sweep train, had to learn thanks to my Mom. Part of me wants to wear a sweep all night in her honored memory, her dress had a lovely lace sweep that became our christening gowns.

Oh my god. This thread was about to give me hives. I'm so, embarrassingly, "green", when it comes to social graces and etiquette, I was just horrified at the implications of the question here.

Train length? Time of day? Just past fingertips? Season? What, the merciful fuck. Sorry, OP, I'm happy you had your question answered, but I'm also happy that the responses tended to be along the lines of "Um, whatever, is fine." Because I just about went to the hospital lol.

Well actually Classy, a black tie event is more than just a fancy dress code- it has very specific set of criteria that must be met to be considered black tie, one of which us that the event cannot begin prior to 6pm.

As long as OP is wearing a formal, floor length bridal gown the length of her train is irrelevant and pretty much whatever she wants!

PrettyGirlLost · March 2014

AllOnOneDay said:
Yeah, I probably phrased it bad. Sorry, was thinking in Finnish when posting. Question was supposed to read if having that long of train was acceptable on a Friday, starting before 6 pm (the black tie dividing line somewhat) but after dark (which can also impact black tie - dark is another diving line). I love dressing up, I love the chance to wear a brush or sweep train (my Mom explained a brush just brushes the ground, sweep sweeps behind you so it's slightly longer) in normal life. So on my one day to be all decked out and looking like a princess, I want a little bit longer train - not so much I need a train attendant but long enough DD could sit on it kind of.

But, I'm only going that far because hey, princess here. And I do not want to go PPD type at all. Which I thought I was pushing because I'm wearing an inappropriate train because dang it, I'm a princess and I can do what I demand - brideslaves, iron my train...

Yes, my etiquette issues run odd.

The fashion police won't came after you for having a cathedral train if that is what you want.

My wedding mass is at 3 pm, my gown and veil ate cathedral length, and the groom and GMs will be in tuxes because the reception is being held at a mansion, so we want a formal look, but FI doesn't like the look of morning coats and doesn't want to wear one. We don't really care about the fashion "rules". ;-)

ETA: sorry gown train length is chapel, veil length is cathedral.

AllOnOneDay · March 2014

Thank you again everyone! Please ask if I'm too confusing, my mind likes to plan things in German or Finnish, then I try to explain in English and it's not quite right.

Underskirt is cut with a sweep train, easier to trim shorter than add length. Over will be chapel, then bustled to sweep. Veil, well depends on how over the top girly I go. I may do cathedral for ceremony, I'm taking anything long off before reception anyway. I figure I'll see how everything looks before I make a final decision. I've cut for cathedral since beading will take the time, then if I want shorter, it's just trimming the gathered edge shorter before gathering.

Yes, I'm making my own dress and veil. I am super picky about dresses and am hard to fit, so I'm going with what I like and looks formal on me. Veils are just too dang expensive. Plus, I'm picky. I've seen what I want, but those run around what I paid for my first car.

PrettyGirlLost · March 2014

AllOnOneDay said:

Thank you again everyone! Please ask if I'm too confusing, my mind likes to plan things in German or Finnish, then I try to explain in English and it's not quite right. Underskirt is cut with a sweep train, easier to trim shorter than add length. Over will be chapel, then bustled to sweep. Veil, well depends on how over the top girly I go. I may do cathedral for ceremony, I'm taking anything long off before reception anyway. I figure I'll see how everything looks before I make a final decision. I've cut for cathedral since beading will take the time, then if I want shorter, it's just trimming the gathered edge shorter before gathering. Yes, I'm making my own dress and veil. I am super picky about dresses and am hard to fit, so I'm going with what I like and looks formal on me. Veils are just too dang expensive. Plus, I'm picky. I've seen what I want, but those run around what I paid for my first car.

You can bustle your veil too, so that you can still wear it to cut the cake, 1st dance, etc. if you wish.

OliveOilsMom · March 2014

If you are planning on wearing your veil all night, I will just offer a small warning that people will keep accidentally pulling your head back with each hug you get. My friend tried to wear her veil all night, but she got tired of people basically pulling her hair, so she asked to have the veil removed.

crunchymamaof2 · March 2014

I just wanted to say how awesome I think it is that you're making your own dress

lookame3639 · March 2014

I didn't understand what you were talking about when I first read about your dress but after a few times I got it. Your doing a dress so the "inside" will essentially be one solid fabric then there will be an overlay of tulle/chiffon/chiffon with lace application. Am I right? So the solid dress would have a sweep train and the lighter outer fabric would be a chaple train.

My only opinion with that (dress sounds very pretty) is that with the long cathedral veil you will lose some of the unique qualities which come with having the inner and outer dress and start to look busy (so the chaple train would get lost under a cathedral veil) i know you didn't ask for opinions and maybe you are planning something different than what I'm picturing...? ?

AllOnOneDay · March 2014

I don't mind at all!

If I lay the under dress fabric, two layers of just lace, three layers of the sheer (it's heavier than bridal tulle but far sturdier so I'm more comfortable playing with it. It's equally sheer.) then another lace layer then eight tons of sparkly fun - up close it's busy, but per the grandmas and FMIL, from anything 5' or further back, it's fine. With under, sheer, lace, two or three sheer and half the sparkle - it looks very subtle and reserved. Actually two sheer was "boring" so thus the third.

lookame3639 · March 2014

So it won't be as sheer as I'm thinking..that makes more sense so a cathedral veil wouldn't overpower the effect i was thinking (a lot of "double dresses" I've seen have been something to the effect of white or ivory satin sheath (or sweep train) with an overlay if lace, the overlay carries out to a chaple train). It sounds like yours will be bulkier than the ones I've seen so if a cathedral veil is added you should still be able to see the chaple train.

The veil your making are you going to edge it somehow or add crystals or something? Just curious

It's pretty awesome you're making your own dress. I can hardly sew a stitch let alone a full on wedding dress.

AllOnOneDay · March 2014

The under is this amazing cool pinky peach color. It's not glaringly colored, but it's not barely colored under white.

The sheer is actually true white curtain sheer material. I use this for anything sheer with cosplay, it's so much sturdier and I like the body and drape better. It flows more than floats. I love the bridal tulle, but that's expensive and fussy. On the dress, little bit of lace at the collar, then sleeve cuffs at full tapering to elbow or so. Skirt then being full at hem and train and tapering up.

Veil - since FMIL and grandmas are right with only two veils, it doesn't look "right", I'm going with a two layer sewn scalloped at finger tip and knee, beading over all but more on edge and lower. Then the longer veil, exact same but on it's own comb so it's easy to take off. While I fully admit to loving everything sparkly, I'm not too crazy here. Thanks to DF, plotted the veil then how much coverage was enough without being too much, then backed off 25% because easy to add, harder to remove. So each section (12" square) has a number of beads to add. Set section up, scatter beads, attach beads, move on.

My Grandma and Mom both made sure I could sew anything. At 14, that was stupid. At 24 and clothes being horrible to fit, I took 3 dozen of Grandma's favorite roses to her grave and took my Mom to a full spa day and special dinner. Now they can both be there for our wedding in memory at least. Mom rolled her eyes at my cosplay love, but hey, it got me here.

CMGragain · March 2014

Sew your dress first. Then go to a shop and try on veils with your dress to see how the different lengths look.

Inkdancer · March 2014

Can I just say I'm super impressed? I sew cosplay as well but I would be way too nervous to make my own gown!

Train length for Friday black tie wedding

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