How to politely tell family that other family is not invited?

Re: How to politely tell family that other family is not invited?

• KatWAG member

  

  March 2014

  Stop talking to Grandma about your wedding. If she brings it up again say "Sorry Grandma our guest list has already been finalized. Have you tried the bean dip?"

  

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• CrazyCatLady3 member

  

  March 2014

  Just tell her what you told us, that the venue cannot accommodate any additional people.  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  March 2014

  CrazyCatLady3 said:

  Just tell her what you told us, that the venue cannot accommodate any additional people.  

  This.  And if she doesn't stop the snark, tell her, "Grandma, the subject is closed.  I'm sorry that you're not happy about it, but you've made your opinions very clear and we're not willing to discuss it any more.  Please stop bringing it up."

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• ScoutF member

  

  March 2014

  
  

  CrazyCatLady3 said:

  Just tell her what you told us, that the venue cannot accommodate any additional people.  

  This could allow for the possibility of Grandma asking her to invite them once she has gotten some declines. I'd go with what @katWAG suggested- stop talking wedding stuff with your Grandma and if she brings it up, bean dip. 

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• banana468 member

  

  March 2014

  "Grandma, this has been addressed and i've already told you that we are not going to add to the guest list. You don't have to like it but if you'd like this visit to continue, you'll stop the attitude. I love you dearly and I'd never speak to YOU that way. As a grown adult, I deserve the same respect in return. Tell me, What do you think of these cookies?"

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• tammym1001 member

  

  March 2014

  Welcome to my world! I am having a very small wedding though (35 people) and my Grandma knows this, but she still tries to guilt me into inviting more people. I've gotten to the point where I've had arguments with her about it and everything and at this point (2 months away) I have just had to tell her to stop discussing the wedding, period. I hope your grandma will be more understanding than mine.

  
  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  March 2014

  I would say, 'Grandma, we very graciously extended invitations to your brothers and sisters, whom we don't see very often. We cannot extend invitations to everyone you think should be on the list because our venue has a maximum capacity and we would like to invite OUR friends to OUR wedding. We have given you the courtesy of honouring a request of yours, and now we are requesting that you honour our decision by not bringing this up again. The guest list, and the discussion about it, are closed. Is that clear?'

  
  

  If she's being snarky to you, then you need to address her directly.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• aurianna member

  

  March 2014

  leahwedding18 said:

  We are having a not-so-small wedding (~130 people) of close family, family friends, and close friends. The venue can't accommodate any more people. My grandmother is invited, along with all of her brothers and sisters who we don't see very often, but felt we should invite anyway. We did not invite all of their grown children (along with their spouses and kids), and my grandmother is very upset about it. She keeps making snarky remarks to me about it. Problem is that I don't even know who their kids are or what they look like, as I have never met most of them (and there are about 30 of them)! We can't use the "small wedding" excuse because my grandmother knows it's not, so how to we get around this? 

  
  Quick need to check... when you said spouses... you just meant you weren't inviting the spouses of the grown children and that you are still inviting the spouses of the great aunts & uncles, correct?
  
  Assuming that's the case, yeah, ditto PP.
  

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• leahwedding18 member

  

  March 2014

  Yeah, that is correct!

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