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Uppity Aunt text!

LAM524LAM524 member
100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Received a text from that "nose in the air" (always) Aunt! She said her son (my cousin) and his girlfriend will be visiting the weekend of our wedding and it would be so "appropriate" if she brought them to wedding! I was SHOCKED! First of all this "aunt" for decades has always treated us like we were "lower" class humans!! Second, I have no relationship with her and only invited her because she is married to my mother and aunts brother! I sooo badly wanted to tell how how rude her question was but I didn't. I havent answered yet!! UGH!!!

Between whacko emails and texts, I think I should just cut all services until after wedding! I think it will be more peaceful!



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Re: Uppity Aunt text!

  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    LAM2228 said:
    Received a text from that "nose in the air" (always) Aunt! She said her son (my cousin) and his girlfriend will be visiting the weekend of our wedding and it would be so "appropriate" if she brought them to wedding! I was SHOCKED! First of all this "aunt" for decades has always treated us like we were "lower" class humans!! Second, I have no relationship with her and only invited her because she is married to my mother and aunts brother! I sooo badly wanted to tell how how rude her question was but I didn't. I havent answered yet!! UGH!!!

    Between whacko emails and texts, I think I should just cut all services until after wedding! I think it will be more peaceful!


    If you have no relationship with her, why did you invite her? Her being married to your mother and aunt's brother (your bio uncle) is a crappy reason, unless you like him and you're stuck with her because they're married.

    Just text her back and say, 'I'm so sorry, our guest list is finalised and we cannot accommodate any additional, non-invited, guests. I'm sure you understand.'
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • ScoutFScoutF member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    You need to put your foot down and do what PPs suggested. Tell her you can't accommodate additional guests, but you hope they can still make it. 
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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    ZiggyZos said:
    Just call her and say something along the lines of, "Hi Aunt! I got your text. How lovely that John and Jane will be visiting the weekend of our wedding. Unfortunately, our guest list is already solidified and we aren't able to accommodate any extras. Maybe we can get together with them some other time!"

    Be prepared for her to insist on them joining and stand your ground. Also be prepared for her to stomp her feet and say that she won't attend unless they are invited, at which point say, "Well, we'll be sorry to miss you then."

    Not addressing it at all is a bad idea, IMO. And simply texting/emailing back leaves entirely too much room for her to "not receive" your response. 
    I really like this wordng, actually. I'd go with this.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Another vote for telling your aunt the guest list is set and you won't be able to accommodate extras.
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  • LAM524LAM524 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    Thanks everyone. You are right. Thank you. Just not thinking clearly lately. I will text her and be honest about the max guest list.

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  • ZiggyZosZiggyZos member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    LAM2228 said:
    Thanks everyone. You are right. Thank you. Just not thinking clearly lately. I will text her and be honest about the max guest list.
    If she doesn't acknowledge your text within a few days (or whatever would be a 'normal' time frame for her to respond), I would reiterate calling her. It's entirely too easy for someone to blame a technological glitch on why they "never got your response" that Cousin & GF can't come.
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  • Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    JellyBean52513 said:

    Text her back and tell her one of following, depending on your mood:

    A) "Aunt, unfortunately we won't be able to accommodate your son and his girlfriend at the wedding. I understand if you're in tough position now because they'll now be visiting that weekend, but we hope you and uncle can still attend."

    B) "Aunt, what would be more appropriate is if you did not impose your son and his girlfriend onto our wedding guest list. They are not invited and we cannot accommodate them. I'm totally cool with it if you decide to stay home and hang out with them. In fact, I insist."

    I like answer B :)
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  • hikebikebemerryhikebikebemerry member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I don't understand people sometimes a lot of the time.

    I can't imagine her son not thinking that it was totally weird to not get a formal invite and just "tag along" with his mother as an adult.
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  • ktjanesmomktjanesmom member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    I hope this woman knows how to take no for an answer.
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  • hyechica81hyechica81 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    tell her your guest lists is finalized and your venue is at your max for hosting any additional people we would love to have you and the mr at our wedding but we understand if you cant due to your son visiting you on the same weekend
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  • LAM524LAM524 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    quick update. I returned her text and told her that we are our guest list is at max. I further added that we are expecting a few declines but they are accounted for (I know we dont b-list but I had to cover what seemed sure to be suggested.) I apologized and told her that I knew she would understand. She responded by saying, "of course I understand. See you soon enough!" Yay me! :) thanks everyone!


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