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Shoot, I fell for the trap

InkdancerInkdancer member
2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So here I am, casually having a text convo with my future MIL.

Her: "Are you coming to dinner with FI?"
Me: "No, I have aqua zumba tonight."
Her: "So how are the wedding plans going? Did you call the Hilton to ask about a room block? I'll do that for you if you want."
Me: "That would be great! I don't think my friends and family will need rooms, so it should just be your family there. Since you know them best, will you make the call?"
Her: "I will need your save-the-date list. Also, it will depend on how many people are at the rehearsal dinner. Those people will need 2 nights instead of 1."
Me: /hears trap snap shut

We have already had a bit of a heated discussion about the fact that I'm not accepting her "gift" of money toward the rehearsal dinner if it means inviting all of her out of town family--since if OOT family is invited, in-town family will want to come too, and suddenly 3/4 of our guest list is at the rehearsal dinner. I've bean-dipped the heck out of her since then but I don't know how to dodge this one!
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Re: Shoot, I fell for the trap

  • KittyKaty20KittyKaty20 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper

    Can you and FI INSIST that the only people who attend the Rehearsal Dinner are those who are attending the Rehearsal? And what time is your Rehearsal? Here are the options I see:

    1. Only have those in the WP, their SOs, and each set of your/FIs parents. No OOT guests, period.

    2. Open it up to truly OOT guests as a Welcome Party, and take the money your FMIL offers to cover them.

    You are not required to host a family reunion, and if that's what she wants, they can meet the day after the wedding.

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  • KittyKaty20KittyKaty20 member
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    KatWAG said:
    I am sorry. All I got from that post was aqua zumba. I LOVE zumba. They have a water class?!?! What have I been missing?! Is it a good workout?

    Well, this reply confirms it. I totally adore you, @KatWAG. I thought the same thing. Also, I love seeing the baby ticker from week to week-you have a coconut!
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  • cruffinocruffino member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm not sure how this hotel will handle it, but when we blocked rooms, we blocked x for Friday night and y for Saturday night. We knew x would be lower than y. The hotel was cool with playing it by ear.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that she can block rooms without knowing who will be at the rehearsal.
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  • mellyD2014mellyD2014 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Second @cruffino... our hotel block is set up for 1 price over 3 or 4 nights (we have a lot of OOT family who will probably stay a few nights to catch up with everyone) and have 40 or so "rooms" that can be spread over those specific dates in any combination. I'd be surprised if hotels in your area make you have separate blocks for different nights... it seemed to be pretty common place to set it up as I mentioned.
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  • tesgirl123tesgirl123 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Have your FI make the call about the hotel block and then tell your FMIL that he "surprised" you by handling it.
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  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    @KatWAG said:
    I am sorry. All I got from that post was aqua zumba. I LOVE zumba. They have a water class?!?! What have I been missing?! Is it a good workout?
    It is an awesome workout. The water creates resistance, so it's better strength training, but it's easier on your joints. Also you don't feel all icky and sweaty at the end, since you were in the pool the whole time.

    @shrekspeare I need to do that. Her ringtone is already the Imperial March...

    @HisGirlFriday13 I think I am going to do just that. Letting her help = letting her make decisions I don't want her making. I'm letting her do the shower but that is it.
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  • ashleyepashleyep member
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    edited March 2014
    cruffino said:
    I'm not sure how this hotel will handle it, but when we blocked rooms, we blocked x for Friday night and y for Saturday night. We knew x would be lower than y. The hotel was cool with playing it by ear. I guess what I'm trying to say is that she can block rooms without knowing who will be at the rehearsal.
    We did that with our room block as well except that now we're in the unfortunately position of having 7 rooms left on our block for Saturday and they said they can't add anymore. We're 4 months out from the wedding, invitations haven't gone out yet. No other hotels in town will let me create a block. Block more than you need!

    mellyD2014 - maybe your hotel isn't particularly busy, but the quantities each night matters if they're expecting to sell out. Ours is one block and you can book a room either friday or saturday night (or both), but we have separate counts for each night.


    And don't give her a list! Just give her a count! 
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  • kgd7357kgd7357 member
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    KatWAG said:
    I am sorry. All I got from that post was aqua zumba. I LOVE zumba. They have a water class?!?! What have I been missing?! Is it a good workout?

    I LOVE aqua zumba. I'm not really great a zumba, and I look silly, but under the water you can't tell! It adds a lot more strength in too!
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Don't give her the list! I just took a total guess at how many rooms I'd need and asked for 15 Friday night, and 25 Saturday. If it fills up, I'll ask for more. If they go unbooked, they just get released. She doesn't need exact numbers or names!
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