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Inviting relatives to wedding

bliablia member
First Comment First Anniversary
edited March 2014 in Wedding Reception Forum
My fiancé and I both have big families with nieces, nephews and in-laws.  With our family alone it's already 50 people! Our parents, of course, wants to invite everyone they know to our wedding but lucky we are having a mid-week wedding and am paying for it ourselves.  Our parents decided they'll have a wedding reception for us on the weekend after our wedding for those who we didn't invite to our wedding.  Now this is the problem, my fiancé is from Canada and has A LOT of out of state relatives he wants to invite to the wedding but am pretty sure won't make it.  Should we still send them invites? Also what should we put on our invites to inform our guests that if they can't make it to our mid-week wedding that there will be a party that weekend they can come celebrate with us. Sorry for the confusing post and thanks for your inputs!
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Re: Inviting relatives to wedding

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2014

    blia said:
    My fiancé and I both have big families with nieces, nephews and in-laws.  With our family alone it's already at 50 people! Our parents, of course, wants to invite everyone they know to our wedding but lucky we are having a mid-week wedding and am paying for it ourselves.  Our parents decided they'll have a wedding announcement for us on the weekend after our wedding.  

    My fiancé is from Canada and has A LOT of out of state relatives whom he wants to invite to the wedding but am pretty sure won't make it.How do we invite them to our mid-week wedding and also suggest that if they can't make it to come to the one our par  ents having for us? Do we put save the dates for the weekend announcements as well or just send out two different invites?
    You cannot have two weddings.  I am very confused by your post.  It isn't clear what your parents are planning, but whatever it is, it is not a part of your wedding.

    You should invite everyone to your wedding and reception.  Period.  If your parents want to have a party for you at a later date, that invitation should come from them, not you.  It is not a part of your wedding.

    The pleasure of your company is requested
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    Wednesday, date
    time o'clock
    Venue
    Address
    City, State

    Any invitations to your parent's party should come directly from them.  You should NOT wear your wedding dress, since you are no longer a bride.  No wedding traditions like bouquet tossing, cake cutting and feeding ceremony, etc.  I would encourage your parents to pick a later date, so you can bring your wedding pictures, videos and honeymoon photos.  Remember, you will be a married couple!

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
    request the pleasure of your company
    to celebrate the recent marriage of their daughter
    Your First Middle
    to
    Mr. Husband's Full Name
    Date of party
    time
    Venue or The Bridesparent's Residence
    Address
    City, State
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • JMalettasJMalettas member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2014
     As far as the PP goes, I'm pretty sure she wasn't asking 'how' to address the envelopes, but how to invite everyone to both. Which I agree, you don't. You invite your guests to your wedding, and then your parents invite whatever guests they'd like to the event they're hosting that weekend. I'm pretty sure you know, and don't have to be told, that it's not a second wedding, & that you shouldn't wear your dress, etc. 

     If anything, what might make it easier on your parents, is to send them your guest list with mailing addresses. From what I gather, you'll have the same guest list for each event. That would be my suggestion for you. :)

     Good luck, and congrats!

     *J
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    blia said:
    My fiancé and I both have big families with nieces, nephews and in-laws.  With our family alone it's already at 50 people! Our parents, of course, wants to invite everyone they know to our wedding but lucky we are having a mid-week wedding and am paying for it ourselves.  Our parents decided they'll have a wedding announcement for us on the weekend after our wedding.  

    My fiancé is from Canada and has A LOT of out of state relatives whom he wants to invite to the wedding but am pretty sure won't make it.  How do we invite them to our mid-week wedding and also suggest that if they can't make it to come to the one our parents having for us? Do we put save the dates for the weekend announcements as well or just send out two different invites?
    I am confused by this.  So your having your wedding in the middle of the week and then your parents are having, what, a party on the weekend?

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I, too, am confused.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:
    blia said:
    My fiancé and I both have big families with nieces, nephews and in-laws.  With our family alone it's already at 50 people! Our parents, of course, wants to invite everyone they know to our wedding but lucky we are having a mid-week wedding and am paying for it ourselves.  Our parents decided they'll have a wedding announcement for us on the weekend after our wedding.  

    My fiancé is from Canada and has A LOT of out of state relatives whom he wants to invite to the wedding but am pretty sure won't make it.  How do we invite them to our mid-week wedding and also suggest that if they can't make it to come to the one our parents having for us? Do we put save the dates for the weekend announcements as well or just send out two different invites?
    I am confused by this.  So your having your wedding in the middle of the week and then your parents are having, what, a party on the weekend?
    Right?  Why not just get married on the weekend??

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    If I were one of these Canadian relatives I would be really offended that my attending your wedding matters so little to you that you're having it on a weekday instead of just having one event on the weekend. I don't think all weekday weddings are rude, but when they effectively exclude one side they are.
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  • JMalettasJMalettas member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    grumbledore said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    blia said:
    My fiancé and I both have big families with nieces, nephews and in-laws.  With our family alone it's already at 50 people! Our parents, of course, wants to invite everyone they know to our wedding but lucky we are having a mid-week wedding and am paying for it ourselves.  Our parents decided they'll have a wedding announcement for us on the weekend after our wedding.  

    My fiancé is from Canada and has A LOT of out of state relatives whom he wants to invite to the wedding but am pretty sure won't make it.  How do we invite them to our mid-week wedding and also suggest that if they can't make it to come to the one our parents having for us? Do we put save the dates for the weekend announcements as well or just send out two different invites?
    I am confused by this.  So your having your wedding in the middle of the week and then your parents are having, what, a party on the weekend?
    Right?  Why not just get married on the weekend??

    *The Bold*     Come to think of it, this is a good question. If you're obviously available that day, why not just do your wedding then? Is it cost? Or a specific/special date? I'm assuming it's something specific, as weekday weddings aren't overly common or popular among most people.

     *J
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  • jules3964jules3964 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    blia said:
    My fiancé and I both have big families with nieces, nephews and in-laws.  With our family alone it's already at 50 people! Our parents, of course, wants to invite everyone they know to our wedding but lucky we are having a mid-week wedding and am paying for it ourselves.  Our parents decided they'll have a wedding announcement for us on the weekend after our wedding.  

    It sounds like OP is having a mid-week wedding because of cost, and the hope that it will keep guest numbers down?
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    jules3964 said:
    blia said:
    My fiancé and I both have big families with nieces, nephews and in-laws.  With our family alone it's already at 50 people! Our parents, of course, wants to invite everyone they know to our wedding but lucky we are having a mid-week wedding and am paying for it ourselves.  Our parents decided they'll have a wedding announcement for us on the weekend after our wedding.  

    It sounds like OP is having a mid-week wedding because of cost, and the hope that it will keep guest numbers down?
    But if they are paying for it themselves then they control the guest list not the parents so I guess they need to learn the word no, huh?

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  • bliablia member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    so sorry for the confusion. Yes my parents are going to have a party for us on the weekend and we are having our wedding in the middle of the week. Thanks for everyone's input! 
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  • tesgirl123tesgirl123 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I literally cannot fathom a reason for you to get married in the middle of the week and then have a reception the following weekend.   Are you going to host people after your ceremony AND over the weekend?   You simply cannot expect people to think that is appropriate.   Why not get married on the weekend? 
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