Planning this wedding advice

MadHops21 · March 2014

How far in advanced did you make up your guest list? I have 2 years and a couple months until the wedding. When would you say is a good time to start seeing roughly who would be invited? I know relationships change throughout the years and we've already made friends and lost some since he proposed, so obviously the list will inflate/deflate as the years go on.

This long engagement feels like forever, and it's only been 8 months.

OliveOilsMom · March 2014

You should have an estimated guest list ready for when you start venue shopping. So depending on where you live, I would say to start making a list a few months before. Make sure all single guests are counted as a couple, so that if they do start seeing someone in the mean time, you won't be too close on space when invites go out.

MadHops21 · March 2014

I would say to start making a list a few months before.

Few months before the wedding? Shouldn't the reception space be reserved about 9-12 months beforehand?

singinchick13 · March 2014

I think the earlier the better, that way you will know roughly how many people you are budgeting for. If you are using the time to start saving, knowing this will allow you to put away more or less depending on the size of your guestlist and give you a better idea how much you will need to spend on things like food, drinks, flowers, invitations, etc.

I'm a huge planner though, so anything that allows me to get organized earlier on I am completely in favor of.

pinkcow13 · March 2014

Yea, the earlier the better because having an estimate of the list will help you in terms of locating a venue. I started mine right away. I then color coded the names based on "definites" and "maybes." Once we had the general idea, we looked for the venue. The list is still not finalized, but we have a general idea so that we can work everything else in around it.

MadHops21 · March 2014

I've been browsing through local reception areas (hotels, garden, etc) and they all show a capacity of different numbers, like 250, 400, 100. I would hate to waste a planner's time with a guest list that doesn't fit well in their area.

melbelleup · March 2014

We started making our guest list almost immediately. You need to know how many people in order to venue shop so you don't have a big crowd shoving in a little area. I had a rough idea of my guest list a year out from our wedding and even to this day, I continue to add people to our guest list. In my mind, my guest list isn't finished until I send out invites. Of course, I've also have had 4 people die recently on both my mom's and dad's side so I've also deleted some guests. Some also moved on me, so change of addresses are needed now that I'm getting ready to send out invites.

tcnoble · March 2014

You can always start with your VIPs and family members - people that, in all likelihood, you will still invite when it's time to send out invites in a year and a half. See where that number puts you. Then if you know you want to include plenty of friends, co-workers, etc. figure in a number for that. I would definitely say you are better off aiming high on your guest list when venue shopping, rather than guessing low and picking a venue you love and having to find a new one once it's determined your guest list is too big.

grumbledore · March 2014

MadHops21 said:

I would say to start making a list a few months before.

Few months before the wedding? Shouldn't the reception space be reserved about 9-12 months beforehand?

A few months before the hunting, I think she meant.

MadHops21 · March 2014

@grumbledore that makes more sense, I was definitely confused.

blabla89 · March 2014

We made our guest lists, then made our budget, then researched venue and catering costs in the area, then cut our guest list to fit the budget and finally started venue shopping, all at about 18 months out. All of the venues we're looking at are already booking for Fall 2015 (when we're planning to get married).

I think it's fine to do the guest list, budgeting and research early so that you can find your venue and get first dibs when they start booking for your wedding month.

Emmy1493 · March 2014

I would say your guest list will depend on your venue, like other's have said. I didn't start gathering a guest list until a few months after booking our venue, as we sent STD's out and all. If you have two years, I would say you have plenty of time to start thinking of if you would want a big/small wedding with a bunch of people, or very few people. Inside/outside, then find venues that will be able to give you those options.

Also, before any of that, establish a budget, of course, so you know what is in your price range, etc.

ETA: We actually knew we were going to have a lot of people at the wedding, as FI, FMIL and I talked about it, and that's how we also found the right sized venue for us.

MadHops21 · March 2014

lalalaurita said:

We made our guest lists, then made our budget, then researched venue and catering costs in the area, then cut our guest list to fit the budget and finally started venue shopping, all at about 18 months out. All of the venues we're looking at are already booking for Fall 2015 (when we're planning to get married).

I think it's fine to do the guest list, budgeting and research early so that you can find your venue and get first dibs when they start booking for your wedding month.

This! I keep seeing this in certain venues I'm looking at. Makes me feel a bit better about a longer engagement.

phira · March 2014

We sat down and made a list of everyone we absolutely were going to invite, including significant others (and, in our case, including children). We then added "So-and-So's Guest" for every guest over the age of 18 who was single. Then we added us and took the total, and that's our minimum guest list.

(We also had a "wish list" guest list, which was all the people we would like to invite if we could invite more than just the minimum. This wasn't necessary, but it gave us an idea of the maximum number of guests as well.)

Then, when we looked at venues, we didn't even bother looking at any venue that couldn't fit our number. Sometimes, there were venues that were close; there was one venue we COULD have booked, which fit 92 people, but it was just a little too close (our minimum number was exactly 92).

We also knew that our maximum guest list wasn't that much bigger (in our opinion; 92 was REALLY pared down from the ideal guest list), so we were interested in venues that could accommodate about 120 without the space feeling too big or too small.

The majority of vendors (including DJs and photographers) will ask you about how many guests you'll have, so it's important to have a rough estimate, not just a bare minimum.

blabla89 · March 2014

MadHops21 said:

lalalaurita said:

We made our guest lists, then made our budget, then researched venue and catering costs in the area, then cut our guest list to fit the budget and finally started venue shopping, all at about 18 months out. All of the venues we're looking at are already booking for Fall 2015 (when we're planning to get married).

I think it's fine to do the guest list, budgeting and research early so that you can find your venue and get first dibs when they start booking for your wedding month.

This! I keep seeing this in certain venues I'm looking at. Makes me feel a bit better about a longer engagement.

There's no reason to feel bad about a long engagement. I can feel the frustration though - we were hoping to get married after 1 year but had to plan around my little brother being out of the country, which turned out to be 18 months. On the bright side, it gives us more time to plan and budget, so it will be less rushed and (hopefully) less stressful when we get closer to the wedding date.

OliveOilsMom · March 2014

MadHops21 said:

I would say to start making a list a few months before.

Few months before the wedding? Shouldn't the reception space be reserved about 9-12 months beforehand?

A few months before the hunting, I think she meant.

Yes, sorry that was what I meant! I should have clarified further.

MadHops21 · March 2014

MadHops21 said:

lalalaurita said:

We made our guest lists, then made our budget, then researched venue and catering costs in the area, then cut our guest list to fit the budget and finally started venue shopping, all at about 18 months out. All of the venues we're looking at are already booking for Fall 2015 (when we're planning to get married).

I think it's fine to do the guest list, budgeting and research early so that you can find your venue and get first dibs when they start booking for your wedding month.

This! I keep seeing this in certain venues I'm looking at. Makes me feel a bit better about a longer engagement.

There's no reason to feel bad about a long engagement. I can feel the frustration though - we were hoping to get married after 1 year but had to plan around my little brother being out of the country, which turned out to be 18 months. On the bright side, it gives us more time to plan and budget, so it will be less rushed and (hopefully) less stressful when we get closer to the wedding date.

STUCK

This is my thinking, too! Less stressed, more time. Everyone that asks when the wedding is gets all surprised and ask why the long engagement? Why be engaged now when he could do it later? It's rather annoying and none of your business.....

Cookie Pusher · March 2014

FI and I just celebrated 2 years of being engaged, and we're still more than 3 months out from our wedding. Being engaged that long definitely made it easier to save - there was no pain of suddenly cutting things out of our lives/budgets, we just slowly started spending less money on stuff as we were able.

We booked our venue about 17 months in advance. We had a tentative guest list of about 100, and figured in possibly going up by up to 20% (single guests starting relationships, additional people we forgot, etc.). We found a venue that could handle that much comfortably.

MadHops21 · March 2014

Cookie Pusher that sounds like a good plan. I'm guessing about 125, probably more with spouses/significant others. With TK's guest list tracker, I already have about 68 with family on my side. His side is smaller, so I'm thinking I'm in the ballpark.

Cookie Pusher · March 2014

I do a lot of event planning, and I always feel it's better to have a space that is larger than needed than having one that is smaller. There are so many ways to disguise empty space (lighting, plants, drapes, etc), but none to make SRO feel less cramped!

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