Second Weddings

Trying to comfort a friend. Some advice, please?

One of my best friend's from college officially became divorced today. She's one of my bridesmaids for my March 2015 wedding. She's having moments where she is happy about the divorce, moments where she is depressed - and I just want to know how to be the best friend I can be to someone going through this.

 

I've mentioned to her before her papers came through that if she chose not to be in my bridal party any longer because it brings up any painful memories for her, that I would not be upset? Was this okay to say? She seems okay so far- but I know she is hurting and I don't want her to feel any worse than she already does.

 

Sometimes she'll lash out at me - and our friends, family etc.,. I've never had a friend go through this before so any guidance would be much appreciated. Thank you all!

Re: Trying to comfort a friend. Some advice, please?

  • I think your voiced concern was fine. One problem after divorce is you can just feel lonely/alone. A friend visiting you can help that a TON. As it gets closer, (Note: This would have been good for ME....I am not the everybride) maybe a note thanking her again for being in the wedding and saying that you KNOW that one day you'll be standing up for her when she finds her lifetime match.
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  • Even if it were mutually agreed upon a divorce can still feel like failure.  In time she will feel better and will become happy, but it will take time.  The best thing you can do for her is keep the wedding talk to a minimum right now (you still have a year of planning to go), and find time to just do stuff that she would like. Once things get a more settled for her you can start talking about the wedding and such.  You will know when she is ready. 
  • lauranchadlauranchad member
    First Comment
    edited March 2014
     March of next year, she may be fine.  Just hold off on talking wedding talk all the time for a few months. Let her settle into her new life.  Treat her to girl-y things like spa day and talk about nothing but girl things, not relationships.
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