A few weeks before my previous wedding, my ex's father got into a serious motorcycle accident. He was in a coma and suffered from massive physical trauma. We ended up having the wedding as planned, because the doctors couldn't tell us if or when he would wake up (or what condition he would be in then). A lot of people complained about our decision and ended up not coming to the wedding. Fortunately, fences were mended. Ex-FIL did end up coming out of the coma within two months, and was able to mostly get back to normal.
Fast-forward eight years. In ten days, I will be marrying Mr. Right. Two weeks ago, we found out that fiance's estranged father was given a week to live. My fiance made plans to go spend the last few days with his father, but unfortunately father died the night before my fiance arrived. Obviously, we were both upset. But since they didn't really have a relationship for the past 20 years, it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
Night before last, I got a message from my own father that my mom was in the hospital. She was bleeding internally, and doctors were having a hard time locating the cause. She got moved to the ICU and has had 4 blood transfusions. Fortunately, they have gotten her stabilized and were able to do more conclusive tests. She is being transferred to another hospital today, where they are better equipped to handle her upcoming surgery.
I know it's not my fault. But I keep having this feeling that someone somewhere doesn't think I deserve happiness. I've overcome a lot in my life, and I generally forgive myself for the mistakes I've made. Yes, I have also worked hard so that others can forgive me for the mistakes I've made. My life is completely different from what it used to be. But maybe I am not giving enough yet?