May 2014 Weddings
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Declines :(

So most of our guest list is out of town. My fiance and I met in college and both found jobs in the area we went to school and stayed here. Then my parents moved from my hometown, so to me it just made sense to plan our wedding where we live. We knew we would get a lot of declines but now as they are rolling in I'm really worried the wedding is going to be small and lame :/ I know i'm probably having just a little "bridal freak out" but it's hard to see so many people not coming to something you spent so much time and effort into planning. We have 200 on guest list, we figured about 150 would come. Now we are less than a month from our RSVP deadline and only 72 acceptances. I'm thinking it's probably going to be 100 people maybe. Does it even matter and I'm just being crazy?

Re: Declines :(

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    It is sad to get declines, but 100 is still a large number! If it's any consolation, think of the money you'll save. Put it toward an upgraded honeymoon or something.

     

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    A 100 is still a lot of people. Try not to feel to upset about it, it can be really hard to attend an OOT wedding, especially if it's soon after college. @Sarahsmiles326 has the right idea, put any money you save towards something fun on your honeymoon, or add it to a house downpayment or fun house upgrade.
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    Just curious...how many total responses have you received? We have heard from 102 of our 214 guests-less than 30 of whom are out of town-and only 77 accepts. If the current decline rate stays the same, we'll be looking at 150-160.

    Now, if you've heard from over half your guests, that's a different story.

    I agree with PPs, however-put that extra money towards your honeymoon, or upgrade your reception.

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    I'm hoping we only get 100 people. That's how many were at my brother's wedding and it was a nice large group without being overwhelming. We sent out invites for I think 160 which is fine cause our venue holds over 200. At  rate of the declines I'm getting I may get my wish. I too have a lot of out of town guests (my entire family including my maid of honor) but they have known about the wedding and the date for months. How far would your OOT guests have to travel?
    Anniversary
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    I think you're too worried--we've only received about 70 RSVPs and have 225 people on our guest list, and our RSVP deadline is in 2 weeks. A lot of people are just slow to return them, that's all.
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    vmj23vmj23 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer

    I invited just under 100 and am expecting about 65-75.  I am just hoping we at least met our min of 65.   

     

    I can see how you feel sad and disappointed, but I'm sure when they day comes you will still have a wonderful day and be happy to share it with the guests that can be there.  

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    I completely understand. I haven't received any declines and I'm not expecting any because we have a very small, all local guest list, but I would be really sad to see people not be able to make it. I think you can have a wonderful wedding with 100 people though. It isn't small and it will be a great day. 
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    I know I'm probably just getting a little crazy since everything is coming up so fast.

    Both mine and my fiance's family is kind of all over the place. We live in Michigan, most of my family and extended family lives in ohio. My fiance's family lives in kentucky and his extended family is mostly in nebraska (surprisingly we have a lot of nebraska acceptances).

    Right now we are at 72 yes's and 33 no's. Which I know means i still have a ton floating around out there. I always hear that you dont even care when it comes down to the day. Which will probably be the case. I just really want the people we love and care about with us if they can be there.

    Now I'm worried because I spoke with our hotel block and the deadline is in 2 weeks and only 8 rooms have been booked. When I look at the RSVP's there are about 20 rooms that should be booked. I really hope people dont miss that the hotel deadline isnt the same as the response deadline!
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    It may sound horrible but I'm really excited when I get the declines. It saves money. All the people who are really important to me will be there. Most of the declines have been from my in-laws invites. :-)
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    They say for expectancy yes rate for OOT guests is 65%, you still have a month. I would expect about 130 guests. 

    I had to have a home reception since my wedding is out of the country and I invited 75 people from out of town and only 5 rsvp'd yes and my deadline was the 20th... Most of our in town guest responded yes. So you have way more yes's! 

    If anything, t won't be lame and small it will be intimate and close. You probably won't feel overwhelmed with less people. :)
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    Be excited when you get declines! People decided to not come to my bridal shower without RSVPing "No." which was rude and frustrating. I expect the same for my wedding. So be excited that your invitees are polite enough to tell you they can't come!
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