Using Registry gift at Reception

Re: Using Registry gift at Reception

• netskyblue2 member

  

  March 2014

  I wouldn't think anything of it.  If you're having a reception, the marriage has gone through as planned.
  

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• phira member

  

  March 2014

  afaber24 said:

  This weekend I was registering and found a beautiful vase. Its in my wedding color and will also look fabulous on my fireplace mantle. I registered for it. 

  IF I happen to get it at my shower would it be okay to use it as part of my decor at the reception?

  I know I would love to see someone using a gift that I gave them at their event, but that doesn't necessarily mean that its "etiquette approved".

  Of course this is assuming that we get it before the reception, if we don't its no big deal. I'll just use a rental from the florist for $10. Just FYI the vase costs about $50.

  Thanks!

  It's virtually always rude to use a wedding gift before the wedding. Obviously, it's pretty low on the "rude" scale (like, let's not even pretend it's anywhere near as rude as not having enough seats for everyone, or B-listing guests, etc.), but it's not the best idea. While weddings are not cancelled extremely frequently, there is always a chance that your wedding will be cancelled, in which case you will need to get in touch with gift-givers and offer to return gifts. The idea is that, unless you're told otherwise, you shouldn't be using a wedding gift when the wedding hasn't happened yet.

  
  

  Obviously, there are exceptions. Checks need to be cashed immediately, since checks expire and people will be waiting for the check to clear (I don't balance my checkbook anymore, but I certainly keep an eye on my bank account). And if someone gives you a gift (probably not on your registry) that is meant to be used at the wedding, of course you can go ahead and use it.

  
  

  In your case, though, people are going to assume that you're registering for the vase for home decor, which means they're almost certainly not thinking, "Oh, she could use this at the wedding!" If you really love the vase and would want it post-wedding, keep it on the registry, but if you do receive it before the wedding, I'd just leave it at home.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• AroundTheBlock member

  

  March 2014

  Absolutely acceptable.

  In days gone by, much of the "wedding decor" used during receptions were the heirloom-quality items that the hostess had accumulated over the many years of her own marriage. Of course few people have fifteen identical crystal bowls (or whatever) so each table might have a slightly different centre-iece on a slightly different table-cloth, but a practiced eye allowed the hostess to lay out the reception room with a balanced consistent look anyway -- the unifying theme being her taste that  guided all those acquisitions over the years. You'll just be taking a step back towards that lovely practice. Maybe in two or three decades, your own daughter will use the same vase at her wedding.

  I always find myself shaking my head a little at the kijiji ads of brides who are trying to sell off umpteen identical whatsits that were "used once for a wedding -- great for your reception too! Acquiring things for only one night and then selling them seems like such a symbol of the disposable society. Cherishing and displaying the thing(s) that may be passed from generation to generation after being used for decades in hospitable entertaining seems much more symbolic of what weddings should be.

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• huskypuppy14 member

  

  March 2014

  I think it's fine. People use their toasting flutes and cake cutters that they receive off their registry at the reception, so why can't you use a vase. 

  
  

  Like @netskyblue2 said, your wedding has occurred if you are having a reception.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• MNVegas member

  

  March 2014

  I don't think it would be a problem, but I would be concerned that it could get broken during transporting back/forth from reception, accidentally get knocked over or left behind at venue. 

  Mary Click here for my bio!

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