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Snarky Brides

Ladies, weigh in, please.

edited March 2014 in Snarky Brides
My dad posted this to my fb wall.  We have not talked on the phone in months.  He is not attending my wedding.  I was enraged that he is just shit stirring, as usual.  It would be one thing if I thought he was not judgmental or critical of me.  We have a very tense relationship, and I know I will never talk to him again if he doesn't attend my wedding. So I told him, I did not appreciate the shit-stirring so early in the day, and he told me he was only joking.  Am I being too sensitive, or do you think that this post said by a close female friend takes on a different meaning than when said from a chauvinistic male. Or even said by any close friend than someone you barely have a relationship with?  Am I being too sensitive or is this extremely passive aggressive to say this to me on fb, knowing I won't start a fight on a public forum?

Re: Ladies, weigh in, please.

  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    If a male posted that on my wall I'd just assume that he meant that I AM those things (as in, that I'm still a woman).
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    It's very gender essentialist, so I'd assume (given how I am, i.e I swear like a sailor and take more after Ambrose Bierce) Someone was either making fun or it, or making fun of me.

  • I just think that it's a stupid comic.

    I would probably just be confused if my dad (who was estranged for a long time) posted that on my wall.
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  • I guess it is just the fact that our other issues are getting in the way. If I were close to him, I would think it was funny, but it just seems to be an attack on what he thinks of me. It's just really sad that our relationship has come to this.
  • Eh I would have assumed it was just a stupid fb meme thing and then hide it.
  • You know what, I think you are right @CMGragain.  I think he is just looking for attention.  If I don't give it to him, he will move on to annoy someone else. Like I said, the meme isn't so terrible, but when it comes from someone who judges your every move and always thinks everything you do is wrong, it feels like an attack on my character.  But letting him know that he bothered me, does nothing except encourage him to get beneath my skin.  He is trying to ruin everything for me about my wedding, and he will only succeed if I let him. From now on, I will not engage in any comments made to me, or in a passive aggressive manner about me. Eventually, he will stop trying. And when he doesn't attend my wedding, I won't have to deal with him, anymore. Win/ WIn.  Not really, but at this point, it is just less drama, and I welcome that.
  • Considering you two aren't close and on that kind of joking basis, I would say he was just shit-stirring. I'd have deleted the post and pretended like it didn't even happen. Don't feed the trolls, you know, they thrive on that attention. And that's all he seemed to be doing, trolling.
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I'd probably just have deleted it after a hard eye-roll. Like the kind where you're sure you've seen inside your own skull.
  • That's where you and I differ. If I was genuinely offended I WOULD start a fight on a public forum. Comments from a relative inspired such an action a month or so ago, and after two separate instances of it I finally blocked her. I have nothing more to say to someone who feels it is appropriate to insinuate things like this about me on a public forum, especially when they see me less than once a year and know next to nothing about me.
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2014
    Singinchick13 - Fighting in public (among relatives/friends on FB) is super tacky and makes everyone look bad. Keeping it to private messages is the adult thing to do.

    I'm not sure if he was directing that at you or just sharing a silly joke about himself. My uncles share stuff like that all the time, and I just roll my eyes and scroll past it.

  • I'd assume he was stirring the pot, and trying to get a rise out of you. I'd hide it.

    And then I'd unfriend him. Why give him access to you like this when every time you mention him, you talk about the latest drama he started with you on FB? If he can't post shit to your wall, he can't start drama.

    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I would have cracked up! It's kinda funny! But maybe I have a sick sense of humor (such happens when you're an inpatient floor nurse)
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would just delete and either block or unfriend. You aren't planning on speaking to him after the wedding...why not start now?
  • Why are you FB friends with him?

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I would assume your father failed at making a very stupid joke. Hide it and don't respond to it. Why waste your energy on him if you don't want a relationship with him?
  • @wrigleyville....Oh, I know. I moved to private messaging when I realized she was not going to stop attacking me publicly and I needed to defend myself. Figured she would have contacted me privately to engage in such a conversation as the (15 years) older one of the two of us with two teenage children, but some people have no shame.
  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I would assume your father failed at making a very stupid joke. Hide it and don't respond to it. Why waste your energy on him if you don't want a relationship with him?

    That's kind of where I am. It's dumb but some people honestly think this sort of thing is funny. I wouldn't read too much into it. Maybe he's being snarky and maybe he's not, either way it doesn't sound like anything wasting much thought over. 
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