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Snarky Brides

Quick (weather and guest-related) vent.

Always2014Always2014 member
25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
edited April 2014 in Snarky Brides
Background: My wedding is on Saturday. Part of the reception is outside in a park, with a secondline band playing music and drinks (and flip flops, for those in high heels) for the guests. I have been checking the weather report to see if we need to purchase umbrellas for the guests and adjust the time we arrive (via bus, each guest has a seat) at our venue. My wedding planner and I are discussing options this afternoon. 

Now, I have a co-worker, a friend from law school who now works at the same place as me, who is invited to my wedding. Since last week, she has been sending me almost hourly (but at least daily) updates about the weather. These updates are accompanied by comments, such as: "It simply can't rain that day. I can't look like a wet poodle." 

I have handled these updates with as much grace as I can muster; I have told her that everything will be fine, that even if it rains there won't be an issue since there will be umbrellas provided for any brief time we are outside and no one will be left out in the rain since we'll go to the venue early, and that in the end, it's a day celebrating a marriage, and the rain won't matter. 

Her reponse? "Yea, I guess, but my hair simply can't get wet. There will be pictures!" 

I am well aware of the pictures (given that, you know, I booked the photographer) and that wet hair looks bad in pictures. I am concerned about my hair and my dress, but most of all, I am concerned about my guests - I don't want anyone to get sick or feel uncomfortable, so I really don't want it to rain. I am already freaking out and trying to calm myself down about this, and this is not helping. I am trying not to be a bridezilla, and I am reassuring her that it will be fine, and that NOLA weather is unpredictable and just because it says 30% chance of rain today doesn't mean it will tomorrow (it's changed from 60% to 10% to 75% to 30% in the last 4 days). 

I am just trying not to pull my hair out and needed to vent, so I don't take it out on anyone. Sorry if I sound like a crazy person, I really don't mean to be this nuts. It's just the weather, and in the end I am marrying my best friend and that's what counts, but when that happy thought is countered by a guest focusing on the humidity ruining how she looks in pictures, I start freaking out about how I am not doing enough. 

ETA: grammar
“Rose, before I go, I just want to tell you: you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I.”

Re: Quick (weather and guest-related) vent.

  • You are not sounding crazy. Sounds like you need to lay down the law though.

    "I'm glad you are so excited about the day and want everything to go well. We do too. Someone once told me that you never talk to the bride about a problem on the day of the wedding. Can we institute that rule a little early? As much as I'm concerned about the day, I have so many things to worry about and the weather updates are starting to stress me out. Whatever will be, will be. We will deal with it. Looking forward to celebrating with you!"

    Maybe something like that?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Or, you, know, 'Back the eff off, lady. Trust me, I don't want wet hair either! Geez!"
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Tell her that you promise to stop the rain for her on your wedding day
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

  • edited April 2014
    She has long since passed the point of you needing to be gracious to her.

    Say, 'Friend, I understand -- courtesy of your HOURLY updates -- that you are concerned about the rain. Do you not think that I, the bride, am ALSO concerned about the rain? That perhaps MY guests and MY hair and MY dress and MY comfort is of more importance to me on this day than your hair? I have told you that I have the situation in hand as best as is possible this far in advance and given that we live in a world where, quite frankly, weather happens.

    If you're worried about your hair being frizzy, then for God's sake, pick a hair style that can tolerate rain -- an up-do, for example. But I cannot handle anymore of your stress this week. There's a generally accepted social norm that you do not stress the bride out with things that she can't fix or control, such as the weather. Please abide by that social convention from now on.'

    It rained briefly on my wedding day, in the morning, but it was gone by the time we were ready to do our first look photos outside of the church. If it had kept on raining, we had contingency plans (that did not involve outdoor photos, obvs.)

    You have been gracious. It's time to be firm.

    ETF; spelling is freaking hard today!
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • All, thank you - I am generally non-confrontational for fear of offending, but in this case you all are very, very right. @cms51 & @HisGirlFriday13, your suggestions are definitely what I will use. The estimated arrival time of the next update is 30 minutes from now; should be fun. 

    @doeydo - those pictures are gorgeous! Thank you for sharing - that took a rather wet weight off my shoulders. 

    @larrygaga - Maybe I'll send her a picture of Storm and tell my guest to take it up with her.  
    “Rose, before I go, I just want to tell you: you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I.”
  • doeydo said:
    If she is so worried about her hair possibly getting wet, I would tell her to bring an umbrella just in case then change the subject.  Besides, rain can make for some great pictures if you ask me.  Examples:
    image
    image
    image


    The lady in the top picture used to be a reg here…before the exodus.  All of her pics were gorgeous.





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