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Ways to honor a deceased loved one at a wedding?

KCLindgrenKCLindgren member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Connecticut
Hello, I'd like to get some ideas to incorporate in our ceremony & reception...ways to honor a deceased loved one?  
My father passed away September 29th.  
I'm planning to have a framed photo of him with a candle set up on a table with the guest book.  It's going to be at the cocktail hour.  I'll have a little card next to the photo that says "In loving memory of ______, father of the bride"

Instead of a father-daughter dance after my fiance dances with his mother, we are going to invite everyone on the dance floor to dance to a U2 song with us (his favorite band)

And I'm cutting one of my dad's dress shirts and having a heat-shaped piece of fabric sewn into the wedding gown (on the inside, near my chest)

I was considering doing a small toast at the rehearsal dinner in his honor ...but I'm not sure what to say?

My fiance and I are definitely going to incorporate a few songs into the play list for the DJ that my dad loved (and the guests won't know, but we will).

What else should we do?  My mom is sort of a private person, but I really would like to honor him that day.  

All suggestions welcome!  Thanks!
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Re: Ways to honor a deceased loved one at a wedding?

  • LlikotdesserdLlikotdesserd member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    One of my favorite things I've seen is a charm/pendant of the loved ones picture attached to the brides bouquet, so that they are still "with" you going down the aisle. A friend did this with a photo of her brother who passed away from cancer a few months before her wedding . I love all of your ideas!
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  • hyechica81hyechica81 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    i am doing the memory locket on my flowers with my grandma and my 2 grandpas who passed. another thing you could do is have a table with a picture of your grandparents on their wedding day and your parents on your wedding day we are doing that at my wedding. to honor my grandparents who have passed
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  • salnyyank1salnyyank1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    There are many ways to do this in the Ceremony. You could leave a empty chair in the front row that would have been his and have the Officiant acknowledge it. I had the son or daughter, whatever the case is bring and leave a Rose on that chair as part of the Ceremony. I also do a Acknowledgement of Parents for their Love and Support and segway into a Moment of Silence beginning with that person.
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  • Starlet514Starlet514 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    My father passed away in May and I am struggling with the same stuff - I am using one of his ties to wrap up my bouquet. I am also having a pocket sewn into my dress from one of his shirts (on the inside). 
    We are skipping all the parent/child dances. Mom is walking me down the isle. 
    The officiant talked about leaving an empty chair but I think that will just make me sad... and my dad was always about celebrating! 
    We will likely have a picture/sign by the guest book - and plan to do a donation in his honor instead of favors. 
    I may have to steal your idea of playing some of his favorite songs!! I think that is super special - one of those things that only people who really knew him would get!! 
    I know for me I want to honor him but not make anyone sad... it's hard enough already!! 
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  • KCLindgrenKCLindgren member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I love all these ideas! Thanks for sharing.
    I'm sorry for your loss, Starlet. ..Glad you found one of my ideas helpful!

    I agree, I want to honor him without making it too sad--my dad was about celebrating also. and I definitely don't want to go overboard because I don't want my guests to feel uncomfortable.
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  • KCLindgrenKCLindgren member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Re: the songs will be recognized by those who knew him well---Yes, exactly!
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  • Starlet514Starlet514 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    @KCLindgren - sorry for your loss also and best of luck!! I hope you find that perfect balance for your special day! 
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  • LlikotdesserdLlikotdesserd member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I LOVE the idea of using one of his ties to wrap your bouquet- thats amazing!
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  • missmarry2013missmarry2013 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    My planner suggested that I light a candle before I walk down the aisle to remember the people who were important to me.  I loved it and I felt like everyone who wasn't there with me in person was there in my heart.  
    counting down to the big day
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  • Amson19Amson19 member
    First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    My fiance's mom passed in April and instead of favors, we are going to make a donation, in her name, to The American Heart Association and a Dog Rescue Foundation. She loved animals and adopted two dogs before she passed.
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  • meowcat84meowcat84 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    The officiant at my wedding will acknowledge my father who passed away. We will also have a candle with a note similar to yours. No formal dancing I think it will be too painful. And that's not what a weddings all about.
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  • rswed072014rswed072014 member
    First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    @KCLindgren so sorry for your loss! My dad passed away 8 years ago and it's still so hard to see brides with their fathers... This is something I've struggled with since getting engaged two years ago. There are some nice ideas. My dad used to plane a garden in our yard with beautiful sunflowers so I want to incorporate sunflowers into my bouquet or somewhere. I'm also going to have a locket with his picture on my bouquet. Was going to also light a memories candle, however we can't light real candles at our venue. Having an empty chair is just one more reminder that he isn't with me. We will be skipping the parent dances also. Have you checked Pinterest? There are a lot of ideas there! There are a few on my board, you are welcome to check it out. 



     @Starlet514 Sorry for you loss as well. I really love your tie idea!
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