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Setting a date

scmurphy2010scmurphy2010 member
Third Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
I am between a rock and a hard place when it comes to deciding on a date. I would really like to avoid having our wedding during "peak season" and in our area, that's June. I was thing the end of April, but my fiancé reminded me he'll still be in school. That would bring us until the end of May. Ok cool. But I just checked the calendar and that would be Memorial Day weekend. While I'm ok with this, this could mean higher prices on air fair and hotel rooms for my guests. Fact: Having the wedding on the fist weekend of June won't kill me. Am I overthinking this or is this struggle real?
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Re: Setting a date

  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    I think you're over thinking it, depending on your and FI's professions and other plans.

    What region do you live in? Would a fall wedding be out of the question?
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  • scmurphy2010scmurphy2010 member
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    We live in Orange Co, Ca. A fall wedding isn't completely out of the question but I feel like more people could come at the time I'm thinking because more schools would be out.
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  • andrea4255andrea4255 member
    Second Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    My sister planned her wedding on labor day weekend for multiple reasons, school being one of them. She's a school teacher so having her wedding labor day weekend gave her the time off for the wedding without having to ask for it off. She also knew that since it was a long weekend, it would be easier for those who really wanted to attend to take the time to travel to the wedding without having to take time off work. Though the prices for hotels and air fair might be a bit more expensive, those who really would like to attend might not mind spending the extra money to not have to take the time off of work.

    Also just a little advice, try talking to hotels in our area and see if any of them give discounts for blocking off a specific number of rooms for your guests to stay at! It makes their life a lot easier as their accommodations are already planned out for them, and leaves them with one less thing to stress about, especially since they'll be from out of town.
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  • phiraphira member
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    scmurphy2010 said:
    I am between a rock and a hard place when it comes to deciding on a date. I would really like to avoid having our wedding during "peak season" and in our area, that's June. I was thing the end of April, but my fiancé reminded me he'll still be in school. That would bring us until the end of May. Ok cool. But I just checked the calendar and that would be Memorial Day weekend. While I'm ok with this, this could mean higher prices on air fair and hotel rooms for my guests. Fact: Having the wedding on the fist weekend of June won't kill me. Am I overthinking this or is this struggle real?
    I think you're mostly overthinking it.

    Obviously, you want it to be as easy and inexpensive as possible for people to attend and enjoy your wedding. But if the best time for you to get married is Memorial Day weekend (or Labor Day weekend, or Columbus Day weekend, etc), then that's the best time. If people can't make it, just don't hold it against them.

    As previous posters have mentioned, you can call up hotels and ask about blocking rooms at a discount. That will definitely help make it easier for people to come to the wedding.
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  • RedJacks25RedJacks25 member
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    edited April 2014
    I'm in OC, too. This last winter we had 80-degree weather. I think you can choose any month you want and it'll work out; that's one of the benefits of living here, you know? If April, May, and June don't work for you, you have 9 other months to choose from and you don't have to take weather into consideration.

    ETA: Not that you said anything about weather at all, but just in case that was factoring into your decision even a little bit...
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  • kla728kla728 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I agree that if it is the best time for you then that is what you should go forward with.  I would just caution you to do some research before committing to planning a wedding on a holiday weekend.  Aside from higher costs for guests that need to book flights or hotels (and hotel room availability), you might find some vendors charge a premium rate.  This varies a lot by area from what I have seen on TK so maybe ask your local board.  I'm in DC and even though our wedding won't be a holiday weekend, I noticed that with a few vendors.  

    Happy wedding planning :)
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I think as long as you clear your date with your VIPs first, you're fine. Some people (like my family) don't do anything on Memorial Day weekend. Some people (like my husband's family) have family reunion picnics.

    It's a know-your-crowd thing; if you make sure your VIPs can make it and are OK with the date, then go for it.

    But PPs are right -- travel, lodging, and venue costs are all MUCH higher on a holiday weekend than on an off-season weekend.
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  • vmj23vmj23 member
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    I am getting married Memorial Day weekend this year.  I don't have many out of town guests (only one that would be flying in) but as for room rates, I was able to reserve a block of rooms at the place we are having it and the rates where the same as other weekends in the month.   There is definitely less availiblity of rooms, but if you block them off that shouldn't be an issue.    

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  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    it can be hard to set a date-- but always remember the date will never be perfect for every guest. All you can do is talk it over with your VIPs (parents, close friends, etc) and make the best decision for you and your groom.  Memorial Weekend can be one of those holidays where some people just always have plans and would not be able to come, so you just have to be OK that people you may want there may not be able to be there and you cannot take it personally.  If you have a lot of traveling guests keep in mind airfare and hotels may be more expensive that weekend, but talk to some hotels and see if you can nail down a group rate that is still affordable.  If you have the option, I see no big difference between the end of May and beginning of June--but I may be biased since I picked June 7th!

    Is you fiance going to be in school in September?  CA fall is still lovely if that is an option and want to avoid June.  I'm sure your fiance will be busy with finals in May so it may be better for him to get a little break himself between school ending and getting married.
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
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    Run the date by your VIP's and if it works for them, go ahead and schedule whatever works best, even if its holiday weekend. Some non-VIP's may not be able to come if holiday, but as long as the most important people can make it, that should be fine.

    We are doing a destination cruise wedding and summer is the busiest and most expensive time for cruises. Summer is also busiest time for my job. But, we have several immediate family members that work at schools.  Plus, FI is also in college.  And we have nieces & nephews in school to think about.  So, all of their schedules became our biggest consideration, since having immediate family there wasn't something we would compromise on.  So, our wedding is end of June 2014.  Costs are about twice was they would be if we did it in fall or spring.  It will be really hot & humid in New Orleans where we are having the wedding. It's hitting on beginning of rainy season at some of our cruise ports, so there are additional weather concerns there.  And the cruise will likely be packed with families and kids on vacation, which we aren't too keen on.  But, we can live with all that as long as we have our VIP's there and this is what worked best for everyone.  So, figure out the priorities of your guest list, and run things by your "must attend" guests.  If it works for them, that's all that really matters.

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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Be prepared that the first weekend in June might not be much cheaper. Some people take that entire week off (for Memorial Day), so a lot of the hotels and flights could still be priced at holiday rates.

    Could you do something earlier in May? I'm not sure what your FI's schedule is like, but I was always finished with finals the last week of April.

    I think a fall or winter wedding would save you and your guests a ton of money, but at the same time, it depends on where they're flying from. If they're coming from anywhere it snows, I'd probably avoid the winter months so they don't have to worry about canceled flights.
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