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Substitution situation

sarahsmiles326sarahsmiles326 member
Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
edited April 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My FI's aunt took it upon herself to remind her family to mail the RSVP's back to us. Well, she "reminded" family members know who weren't invited. Now his other aunt wants to know if she can substitute one of these uninvited guests for her husband, who can't make it. FI says, knowing his family, if we allow it in this situation, his family will all be wanting to make substitutions. How can he polietly handle this? We're both at a loss as to how to say no.

 

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Re: Substitution situation

  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Say no.  The invitation was only to those it was addressed to.  Get a backbone.

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Have your FI tell his Aunt that he is sorry but the invitation was meant for her and her husband but that you will be looking forward to seeing her at the wedding if she chooses to attend alone.

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  • sarahsmiles326sarahsmiles326 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    @grumbledore Oh I have lots of backbone. Trust me. :) We're saying no obviously. I didn't want to write back just "no".

    @maggie0829 thanks! I'll say just that!

     

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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    sarahsmiles326 said:
    @grumbledore Oh I have lots of backbone. Trust me. :) We're saying no obviously. I didn't want to write back just "no". @maggie0829 thanks! I'll say just that!
    Lol that's good - I would definitely say exactly what Maggie suggested.  And don't go any further with that if they whine (no, we can't afford it, or anything like that, it opens up floodgates of irritation).

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  • Hisprinc3ssHisprinc3ss member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    Sticky situation there, but kindly let her know, to not take it personally but you cannot allow that. If she gets mad, she will get over. If she doesn't that's unfortunate and immature. Be authoritative without being stern
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  • kla728kla728 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    sarahsmiles326 said:
    @grumbledore Oh I have lots of backbone. Trust me. :) We're saying no obviously. I didn't want to write back just "no". @maggie0829 thanks! I'll say just that!
    Lol that's good - I would definitely say exactly what Maggie suggested.  And don't go any further with that if they whine (no, we can't afford it, or anything like that, it opens up floodgates of irritation).
    stuck in box -- completely agree about not going any further... if you give people an inch, they will take a mile.  I don't know where that saying came from but I feel like it was MADE for wedding planning haha.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I would have your FI tell her, "Aunt, I'm sorry, but the invitation was only for you and Uncle.  We can't accommodate other guests."
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