11 year old "walked down aisle" by cancer-stricken dad.

JennyColada · April 2014

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5071465?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

This article doesn't sit right with me. Like, I feel for her in that she'll miss out on tons of experiences with her father... But SHE'S 11! Do we really need to push her into pretending to be a bride for photos? :S

grumbledore · April 2014

I hate everything about this. I hate it every time we hear a story like this. Like it fucking matters - she's going to lose her dad, it has fuckall to do with a wedding she might never even have. It's gross.

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

Oh, my God, that's terrible. And if you read the article closely, it sounds like it was a surprise to the little girl -- THAT IS NOT A GOOD SURPRISE, PEOPLE!!

She's 11, she's losing her father to an incurable cancer, she doesn't need a host of adult emotions about her wedding on top of that. Holy.Fucking.Shit.

Also, not to be even more of a bitch, but for me, the best part of having my dad walk me down the aisle was that he had met and loved DH and he was happy for me. If my father had randomly walked me down the aisle when I was 11 and NO ONE WAS THERE, it wouldn't have meant much.

Like, 'OK, you're walking me down an aisle to....no one....? Why??'

That's horrible. HORRIBLE. This poor little girl.

ETA: Yes, she's losing her father, and that's terribly sad. But maybe she would have liked her mother to walk her down the aisle too, you know?

FiancB · April 2014

I think it sends a pretty awful message that the most important day of this kid's life is going to be when she gets given away to another man.

How about a pretend college graduate ceremony? No?

I mean I like the sentiment behind having your family walk you down the aisle, if they're there and it's a real wedding. It shows they approve of the marriage- to your husband. But there isn't one here and it's just freaking weird.

FiancB · April 2014

Also I'm betting this is going to still be all too fresh in her mind when she does get married for real. This is more like a pre-funeral.

wandajune6 · April 2014

I'm with all of you! That's horrible!

I also can't help but wonder how that's going to mess her up when she's thinking about actually getting married when she's older. Wouldn't it cause all sorts of psychological damage?

ktjanesmom · April 2014

I wonder whose effing brilliant idea this was.

FiancB · April 2014

ktjanesmom said:

I wonder whose effing brilliant idea this was.

Not the kid's, clearly.

tcnoble · April 2014

On her wedding day it'll be all "I remember that time when I was 11 and my dying dad walked me down the aisle. YAY."

A high school graduation would have been way more appropriate, or maybe just nice pictures with her family. Any event that they wanted to stage with her father would, in the future, be linked to that experience. Should we all host pretend funerals for ourselves so our parents can be there? Would that make sense? No thanks.

RebeccaFlower · April 2014

Am I the only asshole thinking that he might not have been alive for her real wedding anyway? Say she gets married at 31, he would be 80+ anyway. She doesn't look remotely happy anyway.

KytchynWitche · April 2014

Am I the only one who feels like this was done for the dad more than for the little girl?

Maggie0829 · April 2014

urbaneca said:

Am I the only one who feels like this was done for the dad more than for the little girl?

No you aren't and that is my feeling to. I never get stories like these. So if my Dad were to get sick with an incurable cancer right now (knock on wood that he doesn't) am I supposed to act out big life events that he may miss, like a birth of a hypothetical child?

I am sorry but it sucks when parents die or are dying at any age. I think families need to spend the time that they have together as they are now, not act out things that may or may not happen in the future. I feel like this child is going to need therapy when she gets older.

RWS2011 · April 2014

urbaneca said:

Am I the only one who feels like this was done for the dad more than for the little girl?

Nope! I am right there with you. I agree this whole thing is creepy and has no context for a child that age, other than dress up and make believe. Not only that, but what about enjoying the age appropriate things with your parents while they are still with you?

I lost my mother when I was 19 to a rare form of cancer. While I am not in pain over this every day anymore, it does tug at my heart that she will not be there for our wedding. Mostly because, to reiterate @HisGirlFriday13's response, it would have meant a lot to me that she know FI and be happy for us. It was the same when I found out I was pregnant and had my daughter. She would have loved my kiddo, and I wish she had been able to know her. However, I would not have wanted my mom, on her deathbed to play grandmother to a fake baby. Just as weird.

RedJacks25 · April 2014

This is so, so, so awful. Here I am at 29 years old, and I don't have my dad to walk me down the aisle. Do I wish I could go back in time to when I was 19 and have him do it then, before he was taken away from me and before I had a man to marry? Absolutely not! Do I wish he was here to do it now? Of course! But that's the way life is sometimes.

That poor little traumatized girl!

Why didn't they fake her graduating high school or college? Why didn't they fake her moving out and living in an apartment by herself? Why didn't they fake her getting pregnant and giving him a grandchild?

I can't even believe someone would put their child through this...

afox007 · April 2014

I'm not gonna lie the video did still make me cry like a baby. I did think it was a little creepy that after the walk down the aisle pics the officiant actually did some little ceremony with her and dad and they walked back down the aisle together (ya know when you should be walking with your new husband) and then the pics after look more like bride and groom photos.

Cookie Pusher · April 2014

I lost my dad when I was 20. While yea, I'm sad that he never got to meet FI and won't be there to walk me down the aisle, I am okay with it. I had never pictured myself getting married anyway, so the thought never really entered my mind. What I really wasn't okay with was him not being at my college graduation. That one hit me super hard because he was the one who really motivated me to WANT to go and to do well.

beharrington · April 2014

Nope

kmmssg · April 2014

As someone who lost both parents as a child, I don't think this was a good idea at all. I agree that when her wedding day really does roll around this is going to be stuck in her mind and make it hard for her to get through the day. I can't pretend to get behind this family's eyes to figure out what led them to this decision, but I really think it has the potential to cause more damage than good.

JCbride2015 · April 2014

This is awful. That little girl just looks completely stricken and sad, not like this is a joyful moment at all. And why should it be? It only underscores that he's dying.

And I'm totally with @FiancB. This puts way too much importance on the "giving away to [presumably] another man" part of her future. Why of all things is this what you would choose to anticipate about your daughter's future? If he had a son, would they be re-creating a fake wedding? No, they'd probably be throwing around a baseball or something. For God's sake, just get a nice photoshoot doing something age appropriate.

It also weirded me out that they called it a "wedding" throughout the whole article. It was NOT a wedding, it was a photo shoot.

sarahufl · April 2014

I don't like this at all. My dad has cancer and it KILLS me that he may not be there for the big moments in my life. It is why I chose to get married in north Florida in the middle of the summer- doing it sooner makes me feel like there is less of a chance of him not being there.

Like hell I would fake a wedding (especially AT ELEVEN YEARS OLD) just for photos.

Drewsgirl31 · April 2014

These stories are weird and while the people in them probably have the best intentions, it's still just odd. I can say if I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer I would write letters to my kids or videos for their major life moments I would miss, and buy or leave something for them for those days like an heirloom of some sort but never anything like this

Maggie0829 · April 2014

Drewsgirl31 said:

These stories are weird and while the people in them probably have the best intentions, it's still just odd. I can say if I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer I would write letters to my kids or videos for their major life moments I would miss, and buy or leave something for them for those days like an heirloom of some sort but never anything like this

I like ideas like this. It lets those that you left behind know that you thought of their future and were wishing them the best in their lives. I think I would take a letter and a small heirloom a lot better (happy tears) then putting myself through something like that girl had to. But doing something so elaborate like a fake wedding is kind of selfish and more for the person dying then the one's that will continue to live.

Artemischief · April 2014

Apparently it was the PHOTOGRAPHER's idea. The family went in for a last session together and the photographer and father were talking. He casually mentioned he was sad he wouldn't be able to walk her down the aisle. So, over night madam photographer contacts all these vendors who donate goods and services. I can think of so many more people who should have gotten those, veterans for one. It kind of makes me sick.

JCbride2015 · April 2014

Artemischief said:

Apparently it was the PHOTOGRAPHER's idea. The family went in for a last session together and the photographer and father were talking. He casually mentioned he was sad he wouldn't be able to walk her down the aisle. So, over night madam photographer contacts all these vendors who donate goods and services. I can think of so many more people who should have gotten those, veterans for one. It kind of makes me sick.

This. And the flip side: if the photographer wanted to really do something nice for the family, I can see so many other BETTER things they could have done. Find out where the little girl's favorite amusement park is, and ask them to donate tickets. Donate a bunch of meals for the family so they don't have to cook while caring for dad. Donate the money to a cancer charity for research. Help the dad film a secret video with a message for his daughter to open up later. Anything except staging a fake 11-year-old wedding, pretty much.

I get the feeling the photographer did this at least partly because she knew it would go viral and she wanted the exposure.

SmileDamnit · April 2014

Artemischief said:

Apparently it was the PHOTOGRAPHER's idea. The family went in for a last session together and the photographer and father were talking. He casually mentioned he was sad he wouldn't be able to walk her down the aisle. So, over night madam photographer contacts all these vendors who donate goods and services. I can think of so many more people who should have gotten those, veterans for one. It kind of makes me sick.

So wrong on so many levels. AND, she's a really tacky photog, to boot.

winelover123 · April 2014

This is just....odd. And the little girl looks so terribly sad in all of the pictures. I think just fun portraits would have been a better idea.

rajahmd · April 2014

winelover123 said:
This is just....odd. And the little girl looks so terribly sad in all of the pictures. I think just fun portraits would have been a better idea.

Gosh yes! Poor kid looks so depressed the whole time. I feel so bad for her.

erinlin25 · April 2014

Drewsgirl31 said:

These stories are weird and while the people in them probably have the best intentions, it's still just odd. I can say if I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer I would write letters to my kids or videos for their major life moments I would miss, and buy or leave something for them for those days like an heirloom of some sort but never anything like this

THIS! My best friend's dad passed away from cancer a few months before she got engaged. She cried at pretty much every wedding we went to that year leading up to her wedding because it was a constant reminder her dad would not be there. Her now husband was able to get her dads blessing before he passed away (he proposed 3 months later). Her dad wrote her a letter to her to read on her wedding day and her mom gave it to her the night before the wedding (for she knew if she did it that day it would be way too emotional). I know it meant the world to my friend and is something she will cherish forever.

No way would she have wanted her dad to be a part of a pretend wedding--especially at 11 years old.

11 year old "walked down aisle" by cancer-stricken dad.

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