this is the code for the render ad
Wedding Party

Bachelorette party drama

So since I am the only and only Bridesmaid/Maid of honor in my sister's wedding I am choosing to throw her a bachelorette party.  I have been told to include 7 unofficial bridesmaids, so I did.  I booked the rooms, dinner reservation and started getting custom favors, buying drinks, decorations etc.  At her shower last weekend I had 3 girls come up to me and ask about the party.  I told them what we are doing and invited them to come along after dinner to bars and clubs (it's in Atlantic City)and that they would have to handle their own hotel room reservations.  They immediately told me i just HAD to change the date since 2 out of the 3 girls could not attend due to a wedding that my sister was not even invited to.  I politely told them no and that is the date of the party if they would like to attend they can.  Several days later I get an email from one of the girls saying she can come so since it was only one person I added her to the guest list, purchased her a customized favor, added her onto hotel and dinner reservations.  She then tells me wait shouldn't we wait until we see who else can come.  I said that hotel and dinner reservations were already made for the bridal party and I added her onto our room as a courtesy.  All of these other people must find their own room and make their own dinner reservations as unfortunately the restaurant is sold out for the night.  Going to another restaurant is not an option as my sister is a picky eater and I cannot make a reservation for all of these "people" who just magically want to come after all arrangements have been made.  Currently We are at 8 people and would be at 9 with this girl.  She then tells me that oh well maybe i'll just have another party for her with other ppl next weekend.  What?  This is unfair I am trying very hard to throw a nice party and people are just inviting themselves.  I am letting them come out to the clubs/bars with us and i'm not sure what else i can do to accommodate all of these other people who were no originally invited.
Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Bachelorette party drama

  • So since I am the only and only Bridesmaid/Maid of honor in my sister's wedding I am choosing to throw her a bachelorette party.  I have been told to include 7 unofficial bridesmaids, so I did.  I booked the rooms, dinner reservation and started getting custom favors, buying drinks, decorations etc.  At her shower last weekend I had 3 girls come up to me and ask about the party.  I told them what we are doing and invited them to come along after dinner to bars and clubs (it's in Atlantic City)and that they would have to handle their own hotel room reservations.  They immediately told me i just HAD to change the date since 2 out of the 3 girls could not attend due to a wedding that my sister was not even invited to.  I politely told them no and that is the date of the party if they would like to attend they can.  Several days later I get an email from one of the girls saying she can come so since it was only one person I added her to the guest list, purchased her a customized favor, added her onto hotel and dinner reservations.  She then tells me wait shouldn't we wait until we see who else can come.  I said that hotel and dinner reservations were already made for the bridal party and I added her onto our room as a courtesy.  All of these other people must find their own room and make their own dinner reservations as unfortunately the restaurant is sold out for the night.  Going to another restaurant is not an option as my sister is a picky eater and I cannot make a reservation for all of these "people" who just magically want to come after all arrangements have been made.  Currently We are at 8 people and would be at 9 with this girl.  She then tells me that oh well maybe i'll just have another party for her with other ppl next weekend.  What?  This is unfair I am trying very hard to throw a nice party and people are just inviting themselves.  I am letting them come out to the clubs/bars with us and i'm not sure what else i can do to accommodate all of these other people who were no originally invited.
    First, you need to stop letting people invite themselves (even though you technically invited 3 people to go out after dinner).  If they ask if they can come you tell them that unfortunately the plans have already been finalized.

    Second if that girl wants to throw another party for the bride for any people that were unable to come to yours she has every right to.  It is not unfair to you for the bride to get thrown two separate bach parties.

    And sorry, but what the heck are unofficial bridesmaids?

  • That is true they can throw her another party but to not come to one that I invited them to after they had asked is a little rude.  unofficial bridesmaids are her friends that were not invited to the actual wedding as it is a destination wedding but she wanted them to be apart of her shower and other wedding events including the PPD party she is having after the wedding.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • That is true they can throw her another party but to not come to one that I invited them to after they had asked is a little rude.  unofficial bridesmaids are her friends that were not invited to the actual wedding as it is a destination wedding but she wanted them to be apart of her shower and other wedding events including the PPD party she is having after the wedding.
    Okay, so much wrong here.  You really didn't invite them to the bach party.  You just invited them to meet you out after the main parts of the bach party were over with.  So they said no and now they want to throw their own party.  Not rude.

    Second, so you are throwing your sister a bach party and inviting people that aren't even invited to the wedding?  I am assuming that whoever hosted the shower did the same.  That is such a huge no-no.

    And as I am typing this I feel like this all may be fake, especially with the PPD part.

    Look if this is real, stop feeding into your sisters rudeness.

  • That is true they can throw her another party but to not come to one that I invited them to after they had asked is a little rude.  unofficial bridesmaids are her friends that were not invited to the actual wedding as it is a destination wedding but she wanted them to be apart of her shower and other wedding events including the PPD party she is having after the wedding.
    So her rudeness is coming back to her in the form of them being rude to you. Not that two rudes make a right, but the Etiquette Karma Fairy is a bitch.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Actually this is real.  My sister is having a Destination Wedding in Disneyworld next month hosted by my parents.  His parents have chosen to host a reception back home (NJ) in July after the ceremony and 1st reception takes place.  My mother and I just hosted her shower this past weekend and we invited people who were invited to both events to the shower.  So it is not a huge no-no if all guests of both events were invited.  My sister and her FI chose to not invite her friends to the destination wedding as it would be too much of financial burden so she chose to give them the title unofficial bridesmaids (and her FI gave his friends the title of unofficial groomsman) for the July reception, which according to theknot is called a PPD.  The only reason I did not include them in the original bachelorette party plans is because my sister gave me a list of people she wanted invited.  After everything was already planned I had her sorority sisters (at the shower) come up and say to me that they want to be included.  I went and asked my sister (at the shower) if they could be included.  She told me to include them in any way I could.  At this point the only way I could include them is at the clubs/bars as the main bachelorette party is at the restaurant(Carmine's) which is always booked up far in advance.  If they want to throw their own party they can.  But i think inviting them to go to the bars/clubs with us is nice since they were not included on my sister's original list. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Actually this is real.  My sister is having a Destination Wedding in Disneyworld next month hosted by my parents.  His parents have chosen to host a reception back home (NJ) in July after the ceremony and 1st reception takes place.  My mother and I just hosted her shower this past weekend and we invited people who were invited to both events to the shower.  So it is not a huge no-no if all guests of both events were invited.  My sister and her FI chose to not invite her friends to the destination wedding as it would be too much of financial burden so she chose to give them the title unofficial bridesmaids (and her FI gave his friends the title of unofficial groomsman) for the July reception, which according to theknot is called a PPD.  The only reason I did not include them in the original bachelorette party plans is because my sister gave me a list of people she wanted invited.  After everything was already planned I had her sorority sisters (at the shower) come up and say to me that they want to be included.  I went and asked my sister (at the shower) if they could be included.  She told me to include them in any way I could.  At this point the only way I could include them is at the clubs/bars as the main bachelorette party is at the restaurant(Carmine's) which is always booked up far in advance.  If they want to throw their own party they can.  But i think inviting them to go to the bars/clubs with us is nice since they were not included on my sister's original list. 
    So your sister and her FI decided for their friends that their friends could not afford to go to the wedding?  That is rude.  One should never decide for another adult what they can and cannot afford.

    As for the second reception, it will only be a PPD if they reenact their vows, get all gussied up as a "bride and groom" and have all the wedding festivities.  If it is just a party then so be it.  But to have unofficial BMs and GMs is basically a slap in their friends faces.  It is telling them "yeah so we decided that you all couldn't afford to come to our wedding so here is your consolation prize of being unofficial BMs and GMs at our AHR where having a wedding party is completely pointless. Yay!"

    I never said that inviting them out to the bars was bad (you were the one complaining that people were inviting themselves so you really could have just said no), but they didn't like the sound of that so they declined and would rather do something different.  That is their choice and it is not rude of them to do so.

  • Ok then I misunderstood what a PPD was and it is just a party after the wedding hosted by his parents.  Yes, they decided for their friends to not burden them with the cost.  Disney is expensive so I can't say I blame them but the to give them a title for the party after the wedding is to me a little much. The girls and guys are considered unofficial bridesmaids and groomsman because they will be wearing the same dress as me, just a longer version and participating in a bridal party photo shot at the july reception.  These titles were given to all of their best friends because they are their best friends basically.  I just had hoped to throw a good bachelorette party for her and not have two different one's and have them be compared.  The main issue I had with them asking was that they were not included on the original list that was given to me by my sister.  I'm assuming if she had wanted them to be included they would have be on the list and for them to say "I want to throw her another party" is strange.  I think that my sister is giving me unnecessary stress because she did not communicate properly with her different groups of friends.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Ok then I misunderstood what a PPD was and it is just a party after the wedding hosted by his parents.  Yes, they decided for their friends to not burden them with the cost.  Disney is expensive so I can't say I blame them but the to give them a title for the party after the wedding is to me a little much. The girls and guys are considered unofficial bridesmaids and groomsman because they will be wearing the same dress as me, just a longer version and participating in a bridal party photo shot at the july reception.  These titles were given to all of their best friends because they are their best friends basically.  I just had hoped to throw a good bachelorette party for her and not have two different one's and have them be compared.  The main issue I had with them asking was that they were not included on the original list that was given to me by my sister.  I'm assuming if she had wanted them to be included they would have be on the list and for them to say "I want to throw her another party" is strange.  I think that my sister is giving me unnecessary stress because she did not communicate properly with her different groups of friends.  
    Oh dear lord they have to buy specific attire for just a party?  I am rolling my eyes big time at your sister and her FI, sorry.

    Honestly, I would just not worry about it anymore.  Just enjoy the party you are throwing and whether or not these girls throw anything is really not important.  Like you said, if your sister had really wanted them included she would have put them on her list.

  • That is true they can throw her another party but to not come to one that I invited them to after they had asked is a little rude.  unofficial bridesmaids are her friends that were not invited to the actual wedding as it is a destination wedding but she wanted them to be apart of her shower and other wedding events including the PPD party she is having after the wedding.
    So her rudeness is coming back to her in the form of them being rude to you. Not that two rudes make a right, but the Etiquette Karma Fairy is a bitch.
    I am trying to see it from their point of view and not be angry that their may be another bachelorette party.  But I did only want one.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Ok then I misunderstood what a PPD was and it is just a party after the wedding hosted by his parents.  Yes, they decided for their friends to not burden them with the cost.  Disney is expensive so I can't say I blame them but the to give them a title for the party after the wedding is to me a little much. The girls and guys are considered unofficial bridesmaids and groomsman because they will be wearing the same dress as me, just a longer version and participating in a bridal party photo shot at the july reception.  These titles were given to all of their best friends because they are their best friends basically.  I just had hoped to throw a good bachelorette party for her and not have two different one's and have them be compared.  The main issue I had with them asking was that they were not included on the original list that was given to me by my sister.  I'm assuming if she had wanted them to be included they would have be on the list and for them to say "I want to throw her another party" is strange.  I think that my sister is giving me unnecessary stress because she did not communicate properly with her different groups of friends.  
    Oh dear lord they have to buy specific attire for just a party?  I am rolling my eyes big time at your sister and her FI, sorry.

    Honestly, I would just not worry about it anymore.  Just enjoy the party you are throwing and whether or not these girls throw anything is really not important.  Like you said, if your sister had really wanted them included she would have put them on her list.
    Yes they are buying the gown version of my cocktail length Alfred Angelo.  The cost was more than mine for a 4 hour party.  I'm trying to not be angry but this is the only time I get to throw a bachelorette party on my own as she is my only sister, so i'd rather it be good and the only one.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Ok then I misunderstood what a PPD was and it is just a party after the wedding hosted by his parents.  Yes, they decided for their friends to not burden them with the cost.  Disney is expensive so I can't say I blame them but the to give them a title for the party after the wedding is to me a little much. The girls and guys are considered unofficial bridesmaids and groomsman because they will be wearing the same dress as me, just a longer version and participating in a bridal party photo shot at the july reception.  These titles were given to all of their best friends because they are their best friends basically.  I just had hoped to throw a good bachelorette party for her and not have two different one's and have them be compared.  The main issue I had with them asking was that they were not included on the original list that was given to me by my sister.  I'm assuming if she had wanted them to be included they would have be on the list and for them to say "I want to throw her another party" is strange.  I think that my sister is giving me unnecessary stress because she did not communicate properly with her different groups of friends.  
    Oh dear lord they have to buy specific attire for just a party?  I am rolling my eyes big time at your sister and her FI, sorry.

    Honestly, I would just not worry about it anymore.  Just enjoy the party you are throwing and whether or not these girls throw anything is really not important.  Like you said, if your sister had really wanted them included she would have put them on her list.
    Yes they are buying the gown version of my cocktail length Alfred Angelo.  The cost was more than mine for a 4 hour party.  I'm trying to not be angry but this is the only time I get to throw a bachelorette party on my own as she is my only sister, so i'd rather it be good and the only one.
    But you have no control over if it is the only one.  So just throw the party that you want to throw for your sister and make sure she has a great time.  It sounds like you have planned a great night. Don't worry about who may or may not throw her something else.  The same can be said if you wanted to throw her, her one and only bridal shower.  Sometimes others want to throw one as well and the only person who can say no is the bride.

  • That is true they can throw her another party but to not come to one that I invited them to after they had asked is a little rude.  unofficial bridesmaids are her friends that were not invited to the actual wedding as it is a destination wedding but she wanted them to be apart of her shower and other wedding events including the PPD party she is having after the wedding.
    So her rudeness is coming back to her in the form of them being rude to you. Not that two rudes make a right, but the Etiquette Karma Fairy is a bitch.
    I am trying to see it from their point of view and not be angry that their may be another bachelorette party.  But I did only want one.
    How is that your call to make? You're not the bride.
  • zitiqueen said:
    That is true they can throw her another party but to not come to one that I invited them to after they had asked is a little rude.  unofficial bridesmaids are her friends that were not invited to the actual wedding as it is a destination wedding but she wanted them to be apart of her shower and other wedding events including the PPD party she is having after the wedding.
    So her rudeness is coming back to her in the form of them being rude to you. Not that two rudes make a right, but the Etiquette Karma Fairy is a bitch.
    I am trying to see it from their point of view and not be angry that their may be another bachelorette party.  But I did only want one.
    How is that your call to make? You're not the bride.
    It's not my call to make.  I would obviously not try to stop it from happening if they are dead set on having a second party, but I do not have to be happy about it.  the only thing i'm trying to do is involve everyone in some way.  Without completely shutting people out that want to be a part of her bachelorette party.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards