Pre-nup, trust, or wills.

Charmed59 · July 2011

I'm thinking here's where my people are. By the second marriage, everyone has stuff.

So, I have assets, he has assets. We have children that if something happens us, we want to ensure our children still get our assets. We are thinking we need a pre-nup, might need to check on the trusts, and certainly need to redo wills. Where does one find a checklist of all the issues one would run across if there are lots of assets, and lots of children/relatives who also need to be covered.

right1thistime · July 2011

Best bet is with a lawyer. I haven't seen any one stop shopping checklist for couples with stuff. ~Donna

blush64 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_pre-nup-trust-wills?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:363bf5ef-2e50-481f-8273-13e0529dd99ePost:573f5069-67b4-43ab-874c-577944ec23a1">Re: Pre-nup, trust, or wills.</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Best bet is with a lawyer</strong>. I haven't seen any one stop shopping checklist for couples with stuff. ~Donna
Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]

This really is the best idea.

Lisa50 · July 2011

Lawyer

Charmed59 · July 2011

But how do I even know what quesitons to ask? Do I just go in with scenerios and ask what I need for that to happen?

For instance, I am the only name on the title of the house. I don't want my husband to be kicked out of the house if I die, but when he dies I want the house to go to my kids.

How do I know what to cover in the will, and what has to be covered in a pre-nup?

right1thistime · July 2011

I think that if you find a family lawyer, and share your issues & concerns, that his or her job is to guide you appropriately to what documents to prepare. My other bit of advice, from my experience with my parents, is to choose a lawyer YOUNGER than you, so that after you guys are gone, there's a good chance he/she will either still be in practice or still available to lead you to his documents. ~Donna

Sue-n-Kevin · July 2011

For instance, I am the only name on the title of the house. I don't want my husband to be kicked out of the house if I die, but when he dies I want the house to go to my kids.

I am going to redo my will specifically because of the above. Your concerns are about what happens AFTER you are no longer here, not what happens if the marriage doesn't work out (I assume).

I have spoken to both my kids and my fiance about my intentions if I should die before him. I have 2 life insurance policies (by law he'll get everything unless he signs a rejection), a 401K (same as life insurance), and a home where I am the only name on the title, and I am not adding his (he's keeing his house and his daughter is living there). I've verbally made allocations for all of it, and will do so legally shortly after we marry. I have informed my 24 y/o son that under no circumstances can he or my daughter (still a minor) force Kevin to leave this house. When he decides to leave the house will pass to the kids, to sell or live in, as fits their lives at that time. They will share in the proceeds equally.

Wills should be "living documents". In other words, willing a specific address to someone changes when you buy one or two houses over time. Make it malleable to fit whatever happens with your future.

If none of your children are over 18 (or you don't trust them), then a trust is a good idea. Just make sure when you speak to a lawyer that you choose someone to administer the trust who is your age or younger, or a lawyer or bank ..........you'd need to change everything if you have a parent do it and they pass away before you.

Also, AARP is a great resource. I read an article recently in their magazine that talked about this subject. The one thing no one considers is long term care insurance. If one of you becomes unable to function, even if you both have somewhat equal assets, the other's assets can become depleted keeping the spouse in a long term care facility. This removes any and everthing your kids expected to inherit.

And I agree, a lawyer is a must.

ginadog · July 2011

It might be best to start reading some pre-nup books. I saw Amazon has tons. Then you are familiar with the lingo, basics, etc before you go talk to a lawyer. Best to go in with some knowledge!

wedJV2011 · July 2011

We signed a pre-nup. You list out what you come in with and what he comes in with and estabish that you each keep what is yours and the lawyer draws up all the paperwork.

clp01usa · July 2011

Thanks for this post.

bmichalo · August 2011

one of the differences between a pre-nup and a will is that a pre-nup is a contract and can't be changed without the consent of the other person. A will, on the other hand, can be changed at any time, without the knowledge of the other party. We opted for a pre-nup.

Pre-nup, trust, or wills.

Re: Pre-nup, trust, or wills.

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