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Cruise Wedding Invitation Timing

dolewhipperdolewhipper member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
edited April 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have never heard of this before, so I come with questions so my friend is not side-eyed!

Friend is getting married on a cruise on Oct 4th this year. She is currently looking at invitations to get printed. She has sent out STDs and so far 79 people are already confirmed for the cruise. She is not able to get a contract with the cruise (Royal Caribbean if it makes a difference) until 90 days out for what time or which room they will have their reception in. At that point, she was told she must know if she will have MORE or less than 100 people, with each person's cabin confirmation #, so they know which ballroom to book. It is very easily possible that 10 cabins (considering 2 people per cabin) be booked between now and then. Once they book for a particular ballroom, you cannot change it. They will not book the larger ballroom unless you already have 101 people confirmed (WTF)

Question #1: Is this true? (Someone please correct me/her)
Question #2: At what point will she send out the invite if the RSVP date is 95 days before the cruise? (I give 5 day buffer for her to harass call guests who have no RSVP'd)
Question #3: She will not know what time her ceremony will start because she will not know which ballroom Royal Caribbean will put her in (it's based off head count). Can she leave the time off her invite considering she will have welcome bags for everyone and we know already it wont happen until we're docked in Nassau?

Edited: Just found out the catering needs to have final head count 45 days out. But they need to know which ball room to book 90 days out. This. Is. Insane.


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Re: Cruise Wedding Invitation Timing

  • hyechica81hyechica81 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    i know there is a poster on her who is doing a cruise wedding but there are people who are just going to the ceremony/reception then getting off the boat, she said that they have x amount of time to do everything so that those not going on the cruise can get off on time
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
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    hyechica81 said:
    i know there is a poster on her who is doing a cruise wedding but there are people who are just going to the ceremony/reception then getting off the boat, she said that they have x amount of time to do everything so that those not going on the cruise can get off on time
    The wedding is taking place after we've set sail, on the second day of the cruise while in port in Nassau. So this doesn't apply to her


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  • SomethingBeautiful08SomethingBeautiful08 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Question #1: Is this true? (Someone please correct me/her) I've never been on a cruise, much less planned an event, but hopefully this was spelled out before your friend signed the contract... yes it seems a little crazy, but with cruises I can see why it might be that way... she might call and try to speak with a manager at the cruiseline to get more clarification.
    Question #2: At what point will she send out the invite if the RSVP date is 95 days before the cruise? (I give 5 day buffer for her to harass call guests who have no RSVP'd) I would say no more then a month before that, hopefully the STD gave enough detail that show that is a wedding with an odd timing.  I would also talk as many of the guests as possible explaining the situation in person / over the phone to hopefully reduce the calling needed.
    Question #3: She will not know what time her ceremony will start because she will not know which ballroom Royal Caribbean will put her in (it's based off head count). Can she leave the time off her invite considering she will have welcome bags for everyone and we know already it wont happen until we're docked in Nassau? I would put on the invitation "Time and ballroom to be determined" then on an insert explain that they should see their welcome bags for the time and ballroom information.
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  • SP29SP29 member
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    I think in this case it would be appropriate to put the ceremony time and ballroom on an insert in the welcome bags because everyone will already be on the ship, they don't need to plan when to leave their house to show up on time. 
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
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    SP29 said:
    I think in this case it would be appropriate to put the ceremony time and ballroom on an insert in the welcome bags because everyone will already be on the ship, they don't need to plan when to leave their house to show up on time. 
    Thats what she plans on. I just have never heard of such an early catering deadline like that!


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  • KittyKaty20KittyKaty20 member
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    shannonmaya said:
    SP29 said:
    I think in this case it would be appropriate to put the ceremony time and ballroom on an insert in the welcome bags because everyone will already be on the ship, they don't need to plan when to leave their house to show up on time. 
    Thats what she plans on. I just have never heard of such an early catering deadline like that!
    It's not like they can run out to the supermarket in the event of a food shortage...they have to plan far enough out for this special seating.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think this is a special situation (OMG, there really is a thing). This sounds like a vacation that people will need to take (ceremony isn't until the 2nd day on the cruise), so it would be fine to have an earlier RSVP. It's not like a normal wedding where people go for a few hours and leave whenever they want. 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2014
    I love cruises, and have been on 17 so far.  I have seen a few wedding parties on board.  They are usually very small parties.
    If you want to be married while the ship is at sea, you need to pay for the costs for your guests.  Yes, this includes cruise fare.  It does not include transportation to the port, or hotel accommodations.  After all, you wouldn't expect your guests to pay an admission fee to your wedding and reception, would you ?
    This is why most cruise ship weddings take place while the ship is in port.  The guests then have the option of attending without spending a large amount of money on a cruise they might not really want, just to see you get married.
    The cruise lines love the idea of selling tickets to your guests!  They don't care about etiquette!  They are joining the wedding industry that only cares about $$$.  Such a shame!
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
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    I love cruises, and have been on 17 so far.  I have seen a few wedding parties on board.  They are usually very small parties.
    If you want to be married while the ship is at sea, you need to pay for the costs for your guests.  Yes, this includes cruise fare.  It does not include transportation to the port, or hotel accommodations.  After all, you wouldn't expect your guests to pay an admission fee to your wedding and reception, would you ?
    This is why most cruise ship weddings take place while the ship is in port.  The guests then have the option of attending without spending a large amount of money on a cruise they might not really want, just to see you get married.
    The cruise lines love the idea of selling tickets to your guests!  They don't care about etiquette!  They are joining the wedding industry that only cares about $$$.  Such a shame!

    STUCK IN BOX*
    The wedding is taking place while the ship is in port in Nassau. There is one family who is flying into Nassau and going to the wedding (this is pre-approved in the contract). However, 99% of the guests prefer to just be on the boat. So in this instance, it is like every other destination wedding-find a way to get there, find a place to stay (whether on the ship or going to Nassau), go to the deck where its being held and not opening their wallets for the actual wedding. 
    So anyways, what about her actual issue?


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  • casey8784casey8784 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Like some of the PPs have said, it would probably be best for her to call her contact person at the Cruise Line. Perhaps that person knows, from experience planning previous weddings on the cruise ship, what the timeline should be. 

    As for the uncertainty about the timing and ballroom, I don't really think that it's a big deal. Once the guests check in on the boat, they're stuck on the boat. It shouldn't be that hard to let everyone what time and room to go to the day of/day before the ceremony and reception. Just include the details on the itineraries that would be in the welcome bags...luckily that stuff doesn't need to be printed until much sooner to the sailing date, so your friend will have time to get all the details ironed out.
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  • MandyMostMandyMost member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    So you have 79 people already confirmed for the cruise, and you need to figure out if 22 more people are planning on attending prior to the 90-day cut-off (so, by July 4th). That gives you almost 3 months to figure this out. 

    First, how many people have they invited that both haven't confirmed and haven't given a definite "no"? Obviously it's more than 22 people or you would know that you're getting less than 100 regardless of additional confirmations. I'd start casually following up with these people, or have your parents do it if they're relatives and it's easier that way. If that still doesn't get you to a known number (either 22 additional confirmations or enough refusals that you can't possibly meet the 100 person minimum for the larger room), I'd go ahead and send out the invites by the beginning of June with an RSVP deadline for the end of June. Yes, it's ridiculously early, but it's a destination wedding, and you're kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'd then be sure to have another invitation in the welcome bags for all of your guests. 

    (BTW, 79 guests are already confirmed for the cruise! Wow! That's impressive!)
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  • delujm0delujm0 member
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    SP29 said:
    I think in this case it would be appropriate to put the ceremony time and ballroom on an insert in the welcome bags because everyone will already be on the ship, they don't need to plan when to leave their house to show up on time. 


    I was just a BM in a wedding at Sandals, and while they knew the time of the ceremony and the day, they didn't know the location until they got to there (5 days before the wedding) and viewed all of the options.  So they did exactly this.  They had a welcome letter printed out with blanks for the locations, and they hand wrote them in when they figured out where everything would take place.

     

    I have to ask: when the guests book their cruise, do they not tell the cruise line that they are traveling with the wedding?  When we did this at Sandals, the only guests they counted towards the wedding total were those that had confirmed rooms in the official room block unless the B&G told them about people who were staying elsewhere and just coming onto the resort for the wedding (they had a few which they confirmed with the resort a couple of weeks ahead of time).  Why wouldn't the cruise operate the same way?  i'd think if they were that serious about head counts a really easy way to have those handy ASAP would be to require the wedding guests to book in a specified "room block" when they book the cruise.

     

    My friend did send out invitations at the 3 month mark, because the room block expired at 60 days out, so she wanted to make sure everyone was able to book in time.  She didn't do official STDs and just sent an email (the guest list was only about 60 people) to tell everyone the plans.

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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
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    delujm0 said:
    SP29 said:
    I think in this case it would be appropriate to put the ceremony time and ballroom on an insert in the welcome bags because everyone will already be on the ship, they don't need to plan when to leave their house to show up on time. 


    I was just a BM in a wedding at Sandals, and while they knew the time of the ceremony and the day, they didn't know the location until they got to there (5 days before the wedding) and viewed all of the options.  So they did exactly this.  They had a welcome letter printed out with blanks for the locations, and they hand wrote them in when they figured out where everything would take place.

     

    I have to ask: when the guests book their cruise, do they not tell the cruise line that they are traveling with the wedding?  When we did this at Sandals, the only guests they counted towards the wedding total were those that had confirmed rooms in the official room block unless the B&G told them about people who were staying elsewhere and just coming onto the resort for the wedding (they had a few which they confirmed with the resort a couple of weeks ahead of time).  Why wouldn't the cruise operate the same way?  i'd think if they were that serious about head counts a really easy way to have those handy ASAP would be to require the wedding guests to book in a specified "room block" when they book the cruise.

     

    My friend did send out invitations at the 3 month mark, because the room block expired at 60 days out, so she wanted to make sure everyone was able to book in time.  She didn't do official STDs and just sent an email (the guest list was only about 60 people) to tell everyone the plans.

    Thank you for replying! The B & G had a special room block but it expired already. Guests are still able to book the cruise whichever means they'd like (through the cruise themselves or with a travel agent) and then give the B& G their confirmation number. Then the B&G give that info at the 90 day mark. 

    Currently they do not have a "Wedding Specialist" assigned to them so they aren't able to get a lot of these questions answered; they won't be getting assigned until the 90 day mark! All the contract states is at the 90 day mark they need all the guest's confirmation numbers and a head count.  They did do a STD with the website info, but I'm glad that she isn't 100% crazy for sending invites out that early


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