It it ok to make bridal party adjustments when relationships change? I'm not talking about firing people or anything, I know that's a big no-no.
I always thought my only sister would be the go-to for MOH as soon as I got engaged (June 2012). I was going to nursing school in GA and she was living in NY, and we saw each other for the first time in 2 years for Christmas 2012 at my parent's house in Ohio. It was a disaster, everything I said she disagreed with, she was always muttering rude comments under her breath, and every time I tried to have a conversation with my parents, she interrupted and turned the attention to herself. I have no idea what happened because last time we saw each other we had a great time.
Once we were both home I sent her a message telling her how hurt I was, that she was my sister and I loved her and wanted a relationship with her, and she wrote back saying we are too different and we should just be civil for mom and dad. We didn't talk at all after that, and a couple of months down the line it came time to start thinking about the bridal party, I realized I probably wouldn't have a MOH since I moved around a lot and didn't have any friends that came to mind that I was super close to for a long time.
I ended up asking a friend I was close to at the time. My fiance suggested her, she was a mutual friend for quite some time and was always asking about the wedding, so I thought it might be a good idea. In hindsight, I realize I probably should have looked at these boards for advice first, rather than ask my fiance who still thinks I'm talking about an actual event whenever I say "bridal party"! Things were going great at first with this friend, but she started becoming distant and ended up dropping out in December. She said she was concerned about the date and not being able to make it. And in September, my sister texted me and apologized for all the drama at Christmas and said she wanted to be there and enjoy this special time in my life with me. I was very skeptical at first but we've been working to rebuild our relationship over the past few months.
My question is, would it be inappropriate to ask her to be my MOH? Had the timeline been a little different and I had to pick my bridal party after the text in September, I probably would have asked her in the first place and wouldn't have even considered the other friend who ended up dropping out. The wedding is in August, and she's planning on coming to my fittings with me and everything. I've been tossing the idea around in my head for a few days, and maybe if I didn't have a MOH at all this entire time, it would be easier to just ask her. I don't want it to seem like I'm having her fill a spot left by someone else, it's just that she is my only sister and things have changed these past few months. I had asked her to be a BM back in September when we started working on our relationship and she was happy to accept. She is super stoked to be a part of the wedding, and now that we're getting closer, I don't want to look back at my wedding years from now and wish I had given my sister a bigger honor. Would it be ok to ask her, or should I leave her as a BM and go MOH-less? While I would like to have her as my MOH, I realize now that I made a mistake by asking the wrong person in the first place, and I hope that my stupid mistake didn't ruin that chance now that we're getting close again. Thanks for any advice.