I'd love some advice from you all on the best way to handle a brewing situation I found out about last night.
A friend has been dating and living with her boyfriend for a few years now, and as far as I and the rest of our circle knew, they were fighting a bit but doing ok. However, this weekend she confided to a mutual friend, who is also a bridesmaid, that things have taken a bad turn in their relationship and a breakup is probably imminent. The bridesmaid gave me a heads up. Meanwhile, our invitations are arriving from the calligrapher today and both she and her boyfriend are named on hers. I'm wondering what the most delicate way to approach this will be, because I don't want to contribute to the unpleasantness of this situation for her.
If by the time we send the invitations out in a few weeks they are still dating, I'm just going to mail it as written. They could make some kind of breakthrough and turn it around, or worst case scenario, if this is all on her end and he's not really aware what might be coming, I don't want to make it more awkward by tipping him off that something might be up.
However, if in the next two-three weeks things really do fall apart, I'm not really sure what the best thing to do is. Sending the invitation as addressed will probably just grind salt into the wound, so that's out. She's an artist and the calligraphy style is really cool, so I would love to get her an envelope with her name on it (although I might be overly sentimental and she wouldn't really care) - I could express mail an envelope to our calligrapher and ask her to do it again, pay for expedited shipping, and send it out as soon as it comes in, but that would mean she would potentially get her invitation way later than everyone else in our social circle. I could hand deliver her an invitation in a blank envelope or one I have addressed myself (in not so great handwriting). Anything seems like it's running a risk of drawing a big red circle around his absence and making things worse.
I'm looking for the approach that is least likely to slap her in the face with the situation and make her feel worse, and was wondering if you all had any thoughts, or if anyone had dealt with similar situations. Depending on the timing of all of this, we will probably give her a verbal "and guest", since I'm sure going to a wedding right after ending a serious relationship is very unpleasant, so (I don't think) there is an issue here with plus one etiquette or worrying about transferring invitations; we really just want to spare her feelings as much as possible.