Invitation Questions

bkgerke · April 2014

So, I know that Etiquette dictates that if the parents are contributing to the party, they are listed on the invitation. My parents are paying for half of the reception (about $5000) and the DJ (about $1500), so it makes sense to have them on the invitation. My future in-laws are completely not involved in ANY aspect of the wedding, financial or otherwise, not even asking how the planning is going. However, my fiancé wants both sets of the parents on the invitation (so his parents won't be embarrassed for not contributing financially.) Considering my parents are super strapped for cash but are still managing such to make such a large contribution, my dad is offended at the fact that the fiancé wants his parents on the invitation because my dad feels the in-laws would be receiving undue credit for financially contributing. I can see my father's point because we have been engaged for over a year, which is more than enough time to offer help with the planning, even if it's in a non-monetary way. I can also see my fiancé's point because if my parents were flakey, I would be embarrassed to send out invitations that quite blatantly state my parents had nothing to do with out wedding.

I don't want to hurt my fiancé, and I don't want to offend my dad, but I am pretty jaded by the fact that the whole reason were having a big traditional wedding is to accommodate my fiancé's mother, because her first son eloped without her, and she is showing no interest in anything! I would have much rather gotten married in Vegas (we were there the weekend after we got engaged) and saved the money for a down payment on a house!

I guess the whole point of my rant is, is it worth it to fight with either my dad or fiancé on this?

manateehugger · April 2014

bkgerke said:

So, I know that Etiquette dictates that if the parents are contributing to the party, they are listed on the invitation. My parents are paying for half of the reception (about $5000) and the DJ (about $1500), so it makes sense to have them on the invitation. My future in-laws are completely not involved in ANY aspect of the wedding, financial or otherwise, not even asking how the planning is going. However, my fiancé wants both sets of the parents on the invitation (so his parents won't be embarrassed for not contributing financially.) Considering my parents are super strapped for cash but are still managing such to make such a large contribution, my dad is offended at the fact that the fiancé wants his parents on the invitation because my dad feels the in-laws would be receiving undue credit for financially contributing. I can see my father's point because we have been engaged for over a year, which is more than enough time to offer help with the planning, even if it's in a non-monetary way. I can also see my fiancé's point because if my parents were flakey, I would be embarrassed to send out invitations that quite blatantly state my parents had nothing to do with out wedding.
I don't want to hurt my fiancé, and I don't want to offend my dad, but I am pretty jaded by the fact that the whole reason were having a big traditional wedding is to accommodate my fiancé's mother, because her first son eloped without her, and she is showing no interest in anything! I would have much rather gotten married in Vegas (we were there the weekend after we got engaged) and saved the money for a down payment on a house!
I guess the whole point of my rant is, is it worth it to fight with either my dad or fiancé on this?

Ok, so first of all, the invitation doesn't tell you who paid, it tells you who is hosting the wedding (which is often the people who are contributing, but not necessarily). So think on that one for a bit. Your dad has the wrong idea here.

Honestly, I'd go with "Together With Their Families" here, or if you want to be nontraditional (the old school etiquette ladies will tell you this is inappropriate), do the whole "son of" line underneath your fiance's name.

Inkdancer · April 2014

It sounds to me like your FI wants to honor his parents for being parents, and your father wants credit for hosting. I think there is a way to appease both parties, if you phrase your invitations like this:

John Generous and Jane Generous
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
bkgerke
to
bkgerke's FI
son of Mr & Mrs FI'sParents
blahblah date and time

That way they are indicated as hosts, but your fiance's parents are still mentioned.

I would run it by them first, but maybe it would be a good option.

KGold80 · April 2014

We're using "Together with their families". His parents have contributed more than mine, but we don't want to leave anyone out or spotlight that fact and embarrass my family (of more humble means), so this seemed like a good solution.

ETA: We are actually hosting ourselves, but want to make sure we reflect parental contributions, financially or otherwise - hence the use of "Families"

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

bkgerke said:
So, I know that Etiquette dictates that if the parents are contributing to the party, they are listed on the invitation. My parents are paying for half of the reception (about $5000) and the DJ (about $1500), so it makes sense to have them on the invitation. My future in-laws are completely not involved in ANY aspect of the wedding, financial or otherwise, not even asking how the planning is going. However, my fiancé wants both sets of the parents on the invitation (so his parents won't be embarrassed for not contributing financially.) Considering my parents are super strapped for cash but are still managing such to make such a large contribution, my dad is offended at the fact that the fiancé wants his parents on the invitation because my dad feels the in-laws would be receiving undue credit for financially contributing. I can see my father's point because we have been engaged for over a year, which is more than enough time to offer help with the planning, even if it's in a non-monetary way. I can also see my fiancé's point because if my parents were flakey, I would be embarrassed to send out invitations that quite blatantly state my parents had nothing to do with out wedding.
I don't want to hurt my fiancé, and I don't want to offend my dad, but I am pretty jaded by the fact that the whole reason were having a big traditional wedding is to accommodate my fiancé's mother, because her first son eloped without her, and she is showing no interest in anything! I would have much rather gotten married in Vegas (we were there the weekend after we got engaged) and saved the money for a down payment on a house!
I guess the whole point of my rant is, is it worth it to fight with either my dad or fiancé on this?

Actually, being named on the invites means you are hosting, not that you are financially contributing. Invitations aren't like symphony programmes; contributing to the show doesn't get your name on the handbill.

Who is hosting? Who is receiving the RSVPs, seeing to guests' comfort, etc.? THAT person should be named on the invite.

It seems like you and your father are annoyed that your FILs aren't contributing, and that's an issue you all have to hash out independently of the invites.

Why does your FI want them named on the invites?

FTR, traditionally, the groom's parents aren't named on the invite, regardless of their financial contribution or flakeyness.

huskypuppy14 · April 2014

bkgerke said:

So, I know that Etiquette dictates that if the parents are contributing to the party, they are listed on the invitation. My parents are paying for half of the reception (about $5000) and the DJ (about $1500), so it makes sense to have them on the invitation. My future in-laws are completely not involved in ANY aspect of the wedding, financial or otherwise, not even asking how the planning is going. However, my fiancé wants both sets of the parents on the invitation (so his parents won't be embarrassed for not contributing financially.) Considering my parents are super strapped for cash but are still managing such to make such a large contribution, my dad is offended at the fact that the fiancé wants his parents on the invitation because my dad feels the in-laws would be receiving undue credit for financially contributing. I can see my father's point because we have been engaged for over a year, which is more than enough time to offer help with the planning, even if it's in a non-monetary way. I can also see my fiancé's point because if my parents were flakey, I would be embarrassed to send out invitations that quite blatantly state my parents had nothing to do with out wedding.
I don't want to hurt my fiancé, and I don't want to offend my dad, but I am pretty jaded by the fact that the whole reason were having a big traditional wedding is to accommodate my fiancé's mother, because her first son eloped without her, and she is showing no interest in anything! I would have much rather gotten married in Vegas (we were there the weekend after we got engaged) and saved the money for a down payment on a house!
I guess the whole point of my rant is, is it worth it to fight with either my dad or fiancé on this?

Parents who pay, get a say, but paying does not equal hosting. Hosting is any of the following: sending out the invitations, receiving the response cards, attending to guests needs at the reception, etc. You can host and not be the financier, or you can give the bride and groom a check, but not want to host.

It's no ones business who is paying for the wedding; the invitations lists who is hosting. So who is hosting your wedding?

huskypuppy14 · April 2014

Also, it's no ones responsibility other than the bride and groom to pay for the wedding. Don't guilt FI parents into paying if they don't want to.

bkgerke · April 2014

See, hosting and paying for/putting on a party seem to be the same thing to me, I'm not sure where I seem to be missing that distinction, but if you don't have money, you cant host anything.

My father is indeed irritated with the future in-laws because he knew I would have much preferred to have a more low-key wedding in favor of buying a house, but the fiancé insisted to please his mother. In addition, my parents are not well off by any means, and he just feels if he can m, why can't they?

I have no problem with the in-laws not contributing financially, but if I have to spend this much money just so my fiancés mom can be happy, I would have thought she would take a bit of interest in the wedding and at least ask how things are going occasionally, which is not the case.

It is likely that the invitations will end up with both parents' names and some of the above suggestions for wording have been helpful. Thank-you!

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

bkgerke said:
See, hosting and paying for/putting on a party seem to be the same thing to me, I'm not sure where I seem to be missing that distinction, but if you don't have money, you cant host anything.
My father is indeed irritated with the future in-laws because he knew I would have much preferred to have a more low-key wedding in favor of buying a house, but the fiancé insisted to please his mother. In addition, my parents are not well off by any means, and he just feels if he can m, why can't they?
I have no problem with the in-laws not contributing financially, but if I have to spend this much money just so my fiancés mom can be happy, I would have thought she would take a bit of interest in the wedding and at least ask how things are going occasionally, which is not the case.
It is likely that the invitations will end up with both parents' names and some of the above suggestions for wording have been helpful. Thank-you!

Then you have a FI problem. He needs to be backing YOUR play, not what makes his mommy happy.

JCbride2015 · April 2014

bkgerke said:

See, hosting and paying for/putting on a party seem to be the same thing to me, I'm not sure where I seem to be missing that distinction, but if you don't have money, you cant host anything.
My father is indeed irritated with the future in-laws because he knew I would have much preferred to have a more low-key wedding in favor of buying a house, but the fiancé insisted to please his mother. In addition, my parents are not well off by any means, and he just feels if he can m, why can't they?
I have no problem with the in-laws not contributing financially, but if I have to spend this much money just so my fiancés mom can be happy, I would have thought she would take a bit of interest in the wedding and at least ask how things are going occasionally, which is not the case.
It is likely that the invitations will end up with both parents' names and some of the above suggestions for wording have been helpful. Thank-you!

Well, I think it's possible to give money but not be the host and vice versa. A parent might make a gift of $X, but not be interested in receiving the responses or attending to guests' comfort at the actual event. So in that case, the B&G are the host even if they are not paying.

Although most parents who contribute financially are also interested in hosting, I don't think that's always the case.

phira · April 2014

You have a fiance problem, if he's insisting that you plan a wedding to please his family when his family is not paying. You should be planning the kind of wedding that you two want, and give consideration to other people who are paying (your dad).

In terms of the invitations, I'd recommend something like, "Together with their families" or something similar to @InkDancer's example.

MNVegas · April 2014

bkgerke said:

See, hosting and paying for/putting on a party seem to be the same thing to me, I'm not sure where I seem to be missing that distinction, but if you don't have money, you cant host anything.
My father is indeed irritated with the future in-laws because he knew I would have much preferred to have a more low-key wedding in favor of buying a house, but the fiancé insisted to please his mother. In addition, my parents are not well off by any means, and he just feels if he can m, why can't they?
I have no problem with the in-laws not contributing financially, but if I have to spend this much money just so my fiancés mom can be happy, I would have thought she would take a bit of interest in the wedding and at least ask how things are going occasionally, which is not the case.
It is likely that the invitations will end up with both parents' names and some of the above suggestions for wording have been helpful. Thank-you!

I'm confused, if you FMIL is not interested in or involved in the planning the wedding how is she demanding things that are requiring you to spend money that you don't want to spend?

huskypuppy14 · April 2014

If you didn't want this big wedding, but FI does, how did he expect to pay for it? Are you guys contributing anything to your wedding? See, he doesn't get to say "My mom and I want a big wedding, your dad has to pay for it." No, you and your FI should have figured out what you wanted (not what FI Mom and your Dad wanted), first. This sounds like you have a FI problem.

My opinion in the grand scheme of things, who cares whose names are on the invitation. My parents hosted and paid for my sister's entire wedding, but they still put her now husband's dad (Mom died) on the invitation, because they felt it was the right thing to do.

lennonkdc · April 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

See, hosting and paying for/putting on a party seem to be the same thing to me, I'm not sure where I seem to be missing that distinction, but if you don't have money, you cant host anything.
My father is indeed irritated with the future in-laws because he knew I would have much preferred to have a more low-key wedding in favor of buying a house, but the fiancé insisted to please his mother. In addition, my parents are not well off by any means, and he just feels if he can m, why can't they?
I have no problem with the in-laws not contributing financially, but if I have to spend this much money just so my fiancés mom can be happy, I would have thought she would take a bit of interest in the wedding and at least ask how things are going occasionally, which is not the case.
It is likely that the invitations will end up with both parents' names and some of the above suggestions for wording have been helpful. Thank-you!

Then you have a FI problem. He needs to be backing YOUR play, not what makes his mommy happy.

1.) If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to stand up to your parents. Tuff cookies if they are irritated or unhappy.

2.) You have a FI problem if all of this is to make his mom happy, and you either a) have to get over the fact that you are doing what he wants (having a bigger wedding b/c you failed to call him out on being a mama'a boy or b) Cancel these plans and not set a new date until you can BOTH agree on what kind of wedding you want and how much you you want to spend on it.

bkgerke · April 2014

My fiancés older brother eloped without even letting his mother know and it completely devastated her. While I feel for her in that case, she is an incredibly over dramatic and made it out to be a MUCH bigger situation than it needed to be. Even though the cursed elopement happened 10+ years ago, before we even got engaged she made it clear that we were not "allowed" to do the same thing and she needed one of her sons to have a "traditional" wedding. Now, it's not as though my fiancé is a momma's boy by any means, but he had to deal with her becoming an alcoholic after the first elopement (when he was 12) and I think in some ways he's using our wedding to make up for that. My dear fiancé's heart is in the right place, and I don't think he expected his parents to be so "hands off," that's just the way it happened to turn out and there's nothing really that can be done at this point.

huskypuppy14 · April 2014

bkgerke said:

My fiancés older brother eloped without even letting his mother know and it completely devastated her. While I feel for her in that case, she is an incredibly over dramatic and made it out to be a MUCH bigger situation than it needed to be. Even though the cursed elopement happened 10+ years ago, before we even got engaged she made it clear that we were not "allowed" to do the same thing and she needed one of her sons to have a "traditional" wedding. Now, it's not as though my fiancé is a momma's boy by any means, but he had to deal with her becoming an alcoholic after the first elopement (when he was 12) and I think in some ways he's using our wedding to make up for that. My dear fiancé's heart is in the right place, and I don't think he expected his parents to be so "hands off," that's just the way it happened to turn out and there's nothing really that can be done at this point.

You're not allowed to elope? I'm sorry, but people don't get to tell other adults what they can and cannot do; I don't care if it's his mother.

Look, I know parents want to be apart of their children's weddings. Of course it's fine for her to feel that way, but what else are you not going to be "allowed to do". Are you not going to be able to move to a different state because Mommy won't allow it? Are you not going to be able to name your children "X" because Mommy doesn't like it?

KGold80 · April 2014

bkgerke said:

My fiancés older brother eloped without even letting his mother know and it completely devastated her. While I feel for her in that case, she is an incredibly over dramatic and made it out to be a MUCH bigger situation than it needed to be. Even though the cursed elopement happened 10+ years ago, before we even got engaged she made it clear that we were not "allowed" to do the same thing and she needed one of her sons to have a "traditional" wedding. Now, it's not as though my fiancé is a momma's boy by any means, but he had to deal with her becoming an alcoholic after the first elopement (when he was 12) and I think in some ways he's using our wedding to make up for that. My dear fiancé's heart is in the right place, and I don't think he expected his parents to be so "hands off," that's just the way it happened to turn out and there's nothing really that can be done at this point.

Whoa...it's a much bigger issue that he is using your wedding as a way to make up for his brother's elopement that led to his mother becoming an alcoholic? It kind of sounds to me like he might be enabling her.

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

The more you post, the more you demonstrate you have a FI problem. If he's old enough to get married, he is old enough to tell his mama that he can elope if he wants to.

It sounds like she has serious issues (an elopement caused her to become an alcoholic?!), AND it sounds like your FI enables her.

CMGragain · April 2014

Aside from all the family drama, if your FMIL is traditional, then she expects the bride's family to pay for the wedding. This is what was the usual custom 50 years ago. That was when most weddings were in church, followed by a cake and punch reception.
If your FMIL wants tradition, then the groom's parents were not on the invitation, because they were not the hosts. The invitation is not a family tree.
This is the traditional wording:

Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Bride's First Middle
to
Mr. Groom's Full Name
Day, date
time
Venue
Address
City, State

I would ask FMIL if she wants a traditional invitation. If she says, "Yes", then this is traditional. Anything else is not. "Together with their families", "son of Mr. and Mrs. Groomsparents" is acceptable etiquette, but they are NOT traditional.
Good luck.

lennonkdc · April 2014

bkgerke said:

My fiancés older brother eloped without even letting his mother know and it completely devastated her. While I feel for her in that case, she is an incredibly over dramatic and made it out to be a MUCH bigger situation than it needed to be. Even though the cursed elopement happened 10+ years ago, before we even got engaged she made it clear that we were not "allowed" to do the same thing and she needed one of her sons to have a "traditional" wedding. Now, it's not as though my fiancé is a momma's boy by any means, but he had to deal with her becoming an alcoholic after the first elopement (when he was 12) and I think in some ways he's using our wedding to make up for that. My dear fiancé's heart is in the right place, and I don't think he expected his parents to be so "hands off," that's just the way it happened to turn out and there's nothing really that can be done at this point.

Look I get that you think your FI's heart is in the right place, but if he is seriously placing his mother's WANT to see a son have a 'traditional wedding' over your NEED (or even want) to have a smaller to do then thats an issue.

I'm not trying to harp on you b/c I get it, I do. My FI's bro had a private ceremony and his sister had a PPD. When it came time for us to plan we each had a separate vision, I wanted to elope, he wanted a big traditional wedding I in part due to what his siblings did)- so we compromised and are having a smaller to do, in a venue we both love with our nearest and dearest.

You have to sit FI down and make sure that this is also what he wants, not just because he doesn't want to let mom down, but b/c he really does want the big wedding (He might be hiding behind the "but my mom wants this" so he doesn't seem less guy like, just a thought). If this is ALL about Mom, then you need to start putting your foot down right now. If the big wedding is b/c he wants it you need to start finding a way to compromise so the day is about both of you.

offthemarket915 · April 2014

Well it sounds to me like the ship has already sailed about 'traditional wedding vs eloping' so won't bother to comment on that part.

I'm just posting to support you b/c it is annoying that they're not contributing anything but FI still expects them to get the same credit as your parents. This would stick in my craw. FMIL already "got her way" about the type of wedding, she does not also get credit that hasn't been earned.

That said, it may not be worth the bad feelings that would likely ensue, so "together with their families" might be the best compromise.

As to the dynamic between FI and his mother, adult children of alcoholics typcially have issues with boundaries and enabling. He might want to pick up a book for ACOA for some insight.

hyechica81 · April 2014

we put together with our parents

his mom has no interest in the wedding shes in her late 70s ( had fi later in life) his father is passed away. my parents gave us some money so they were ok with together with our parents

indianaalum · April 2014

bkgerke said:

See, hosting and paying for/putting on a party seem to be the same thing to me, I'm not sure where I seem to be missing that distinction, but if you don't have money, you cant host anything.
My father is indeed irritated with the future in-laws because he knew I would have much preferred to have a more low-key wedding in favor of buying a house, but the fiancé insisted to please his mother. In addition, my parents are not well off by any means, and he just feels if he can m, why can't they?
I have no problem with the in-laws not contributing financially, but if I have to spend this much money just so my fiancés mom can be happy, I would have thought she would take a bit of interest in the wedding and at least ask how things are going occasionally, which is not the case.
It is likely that the invitations will end up with both parents' names and some of the above suggestions for wording have been helpful. Thank-you!

confused. If she has shown "zero" interest in planning, how is she getting blamed for it's cost? It sounds like she ask that you NOT elope, but that doesn't mean she is requesting you to host a major expensive event. There really is a happy medium between "eloping" and hosting an "over the top" spectacle. You can still host something modest on a tiny budget. Did I miss something? Was she making other demands?

I agree with "together with their families" We paid for our own wedding, but I felt our invitation wasn't about "who is paying" rather than including our families whom we love.

huskypuppy14 · April 2014

indianaalum said:

bkgerke said:

See, hosting and paying for/putting on a party seem to be the same thing to me, I'm not sure where I seem to be missing that distinction, but if you don't have money, you cant host anything.
My father is indeed irritated with the future in-laws because he knew I would have much preferred to have a more low-key wedding in favor of buying a house, but the fiancé insisted to please his mother. In addition, my parents are not well off by any means, and he just feels if he can m, why can't they?
I have no problem with the in-laws not contributing financially, but if I have to spend this much money just so my fiancés mom can be happy, I would have thought she would take a bit of interest in the wedding and at least ask how things are going occasionally, which is not the case.
It is likely that the invitations will end up with both parents' names and some of the above suggestions for wording have been helpful. Thank-you!

confused. If she has shown "zero" interest in planning, how is she getting blamed for it's cost? It sounds like she ask that you NOT elope, but that doesn't mean she is requesting you to host a major expensive event. There really is a happy medium between "eloping" and hosting an "over the top" spectacle. You can still host something modest on a tiny budget. Did I miss something? Was she making other demands?

I agree with "together with their families" We paid for our own wedding, but I felt our invitation wasn't about "who is paying" rather than including our families whom we love.

This is a good point! There is something between eloping and elaborate expensive affair. Maybe she is insisting that a lot of people be invited?

Viczaesar · April 2014

offthemarket915 said:

Well it sounds to me like the ship has already sailed about 'traditional wedding vs eloping' so won't bother to comment on that part.
I'm just posting to support you b/c it is annoying that they're not contributing anything but FI still expects them to get the same credit as your parents. This would stick in my craw. FMIL already "got her way" about the type of wedding, she does not also get credit that hasn't been earned.
That said, it may not be worth the bad feelings that would likely ensue, so "together with their families" might be the best compromise.
As to the dynamic between FI and his mother, adult children of alcoholics typcially have issues with boundaries and enabling. He might want to pick up a book for ACOA for some insight.

The wording of the wedding invitation has nothing to do with 'getting credit.' It's about indicating who is hosting the event, period. Hosting is about the social act of taking care of the guests, in this case inviting them to the wedding, asking them for their meal preferences, collecting RSVPs, giving that information to the caterer, making seating charts, greeting the guests at the wedding, etc. It is not about who is ponying up the moolah for the event.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

bkgerke said:

My fiancés older brother eloped without even letting his mother know and it completely devastated her. While I feel for her in that case, she is an incredibly over dramatic and made it out to be a MUCH bigger situation than it needed to be. Even though the cursed elopement happened 10+ years ago, before we even got engaged she made it clear that we were not "allowed" to do the same thing and she needed one of her sons to have a "traditional" wedding. Now, it's not as though my fiancé is a momma's boy by any means, but he had to deal with her becoming an alcoholic after the first elopement (when he was 12) and I think in some ways he's using our wedding to make up for that. My dear fiancé's heart is in the right place, and I don't think he expected his parents to be so "hands off," that's just the way it happened to turn out and there's nothing really that can be done at this point.

I think I know why your FBIL eloped. . . .

Your FMIL sounds like she is melodramatic and used to emotionally manipulating your FI.

Jen4948 · April 2014

bkgerke said:

So, I know that Etiquette dictates that if the parents are contributing to the party, they are listed on the invitation.
No, it doesn't. In fact, it dictates that the financial arrangements are none of the guests' business, and the invitation's wording is not supposed to reflect that. Not only that, the persons "honored" by an invitation are not the hosts or honorees, but the guests. Who the hosts and honorees are is not the same as who is paying. If your parents are acting as "point persons" (that is, issuing the invitations, receiving the replies, greeting the guests at the wedding, and seeing that their needs are tended to), then they should be listed as hosts; otherwise, if they are only contributing financially, they are not hosts and should not be listed.
My parents are paying for half of the reception (about $5000) and the DJ (about $1500), so it makes sense to have them on the invitation.
Not necessarily.
My future in-laws are completely not involved in ANY aspect of the wedding, financial or otherwise, not even asking how the planning is going. However, my fiancé wants both sets of the parents on the invitation (so his parents won't be embarrassed for not contributing financially.) Considering my parents are super strapped for cash but are still managing such to make such a large contribution, my dad is offended at the fact that the fiancé wants his parents on the invitation because my dad feels the in-laws would be receiving undue credit for financially contributing. I can see my father's point because we have been engaged for over a year, which is more than enough time to offer help with the planning, even if it's in a non-monetary way. I can also see my fiancé's point because if my parents were flakey, I would be embarrassed to send out invitations that quite blatantly state my parents had nothing to do with out wedding.
Use "together with their families."
I don't want to hurt my fiancé, and I don't want to offend my dad, but I am pretty jaded by the fact that the whole reason were having a big traditional wedding is to accommodate my fiancé's mother, because her first son eloped without her, and she is showing no interest in anything! I would have much rather gotten married in Vegas (we were there the weekend after we got engaged) and saved the money for a down payment on a house!
I guess the whole point of my rant is, is it worth it to fight with either my dad or fiancé on this?
Entirely your decision, but I think that there are much bigger issues to fight about.

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