Wedding Party

Straggler Bridesmaid still hasn't ordered dress with 1 day to go

And I'm paying for it. All she had to do was go to the store and get measured. She told me she would go 2 weeks ago Tuesday but never showed up.

I'm really at a loss here. Whenever I have bugged her about it she has been terse and told me not to worry, that she was aware of the deadline. Truth be told I've felt like she has been generally kind of grumpy lately.

I'm not the type to get angry at people and frankly we haven't even been very close in recent months. She works 6 days a week and has gotten really really close with her boyfriend so none of us see her as often as we used to. She tends also to keep her feelings to herself so if she has decided she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid, it's a possibility and she just hasn't told me.

My fiancé and I are moving to LA in 4 months, right before the wedding, and while she hasn't been as present our group of friends is definitely a clique and I have no interest in burning bridges and splitting up "the gang" if we're going to move away anyway. Any solution I use needs to keep what's left of the friendship intact.

If she doesn't order by Monday, what are my options here? Do I offer her a no-guilt out? Do I tell her I'll still pay for the dress but tell her she has to pay rush fees? Do I show up at her house with dress tape and tell her to measure herself so I can just call the shop and get the stupid dress ordered?

Re: Straggler Bridesmaid still hasn't ordered dress with 1 day to go

  • I vote wait and see what happens.  If she orders it cool.  If not you are probably safe to assume that she is out of the wedding.  If she then calls and says "oh crap I missed the deadline can I still order?" just let her know that she will have to pay the rush fee (be specific with the amount).  If she still doesn't order then she is absolutely out.  This way the ball is entirely in her court. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • And I'm paying for it. All she had to do was go to the store and get measured. She told me she would go 2 weeks ago Tuesday but never showed up. I'm really at a loss here. Whenever I have bugged her about it she has been terse and told me not to worry, that she was aware of the deadline. Truth be told I've felt like she has been generally kind of grumpy lately. I'm not the type to get angry at people and frankly we haven't even been very close in recent months. She works 6 days a week and has gotten really really close with her boyfriend so none of us see her as often as we used to. She tends also to keep her feelings to herself so if she has decided she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid, it's a possibility and she just hasn't told me. My fiancé and I are moving to LA in 4 months, right before the wedding, and while she hasn't been as present our group of friends is definitely a clique and I have no interest in burning bridges and splitting up "the gang" if we're going to move away anyway. Any solution I use needs to keep what's left of the friendship intact. If she doesn't order by Monday, what are my options here? Do I offer her a no-guilt out? Do I tell her I'll still pay for the dress but tell her she has to pay rush fees? Do I show up at her house with dress tape and tell her to measure herself so I can just call the shop and get the stupid dress ordered?
     I would call her and tell her tomorrow is the last day to order the dress. If she doesn't go, she has taken herself out of the wedding. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Is it possible that she is looking to buy it used to save some money?
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  • Have you talked to her about anything else, or only your wedding, along with nagging her?  If that's the case, maybe that's why she hasn't gotten the dress-it's her way of stepping down from your wedding party.
  • EmD88EmD88 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Out of curiosity is she by any chance on the heavier side and has decided to wait till the last minute so she can lose weight?   
  • If she doesn't order the dress, she's taken herself out of the wedding party. But I echo Jenn's question about whether you're talking to her about anything OTHER THAN the wedding, or if it's all-wedding, all the time.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I am with Jenn and HisGirl on this.  Have you been a friend to her outside of your wedding?  If someone was all wedding this and wedding that, and then nagging me about a dress on top of that I would be pissed.  I would just call her up and try to hang out/go to lunch/something and just be a supportive friend.  Maybe there is something going on that you can't see.
  • doeydo said:
    Is it possible that she is looking to buy it used to save some money?
    HIghly unlikely since the first sentence of the post was that the bride is paying for the dress.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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