Did anyone say no to being your bridesmaid?

RedJacks25 · April 2014

Just curious... Did any of you ask someone to be a bridesmaid and they said no? What were the circumstances?

Maggie0829 · April 2014

No. And I have never said no to being a BM (at points I wish I did when the weddings got closer). For me, I would have to really be financially strapped or something major would had to have been planned for me to say no.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

I said no to a friend from high school. We weren't close, only kept up with each other via Facebook. She asked me to be a BM and I said no. At the time I was moving out on my own and felt like I wouldn't be able to afford it. She said the dresses would be reasonable and I still said no.

I want to write more but I'm afraid that she will read this! How do I change my handle?

tammym1001 · April 2014

@jaragon007 - you have to PM @knotporscha with a few alternate names and she can get it changed for you.

OP - I didn't have anyone tell me no, but they all pretty much knew before I even got engaged that I would be asking them. They are also all family and my BFF so they would do pretty much do anything for me.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

tammym1001 said:

@jaragon007 - you have to PM @knotporscha with a few alternate names and she can get it changed for you.

OP - I didn't have anyone tell me no, but they all pretty much knew before I even got engaged that I would be asking them. They are also all family and my BFF so they would do pretty much do anything for me.

Thanks!

jenna8984 · April 2014

Nope. I had told my high school best friend and my college best friend previously (before engagement) that I only planned to have the two of them. So the two of them were definitely excited.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

None of my maids said no, but I think one was surprised that I asked her and another two were not expecting to be made MOHs. I never talked about "When I get married, you will be in my wedding..." so there was no awkwardness there.

What I wanted to say was I told a friend no and I found out she was getting dresses custom made and they were pricey, and she was having the BP do a choreographed dance (I think BP had to pay choreographer?). Then invite comes and it requests women in formal gowns so I bought one. Then the wedding was called off that morning

NavyBlue143 · April 2014

I had two girls drop out. One because she couldn't afford to make the trip, another because her cousin's wedding was the same day. I turned down a friend because I didn't support her marrying a lazy drug addicted ex con. She didn't marry him, thank God.

ei34 · April 2014

No, no one told me no. I really kept it to my nearest and dearest/3am bury a body people though- my two sisters who are my best friends, and a very dear friend. What I did have were a few women ask me if they could be BMs, which was weird.
TK actually gave me the moxie to turn down being a BM a few months ago...a girl I don't feel super close to asked me, and out of the 8 times I've been a BM, the worst experiences are with brides I just am not close to. She asked me at her engagement party, with the other potential BMs, in a very public way. It made saying no super awkward.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

Yes, one of my BM said no because she didn't feel that she could afford the expenses associated with being a BM and also she was concerned because she was working full time and going to school full time too and her schedule was going to stay that way through our wedding that she wouldn't be able to help me out.

In the end because she was my BFF and we had been friends for 30 years, my husband and I decided to pay for her dress to make it easier for her. She agreed to be a BM which I was so happy about. Because of her schedule and out of respect to my other BM the only time I asked them to get together was when we went shopping for their dresses which we accomplished in one night. I took care of doing everything myself (ok my MOH who is my sister & my mom helped me assemble programs, but I was also sick in bed for the two weeks leading up to my wedding). I left it up to my BM to decide if & when they wanted to meet to plan anything. I think they did a lot of communicating via email because it was easier with everyone's schedules.

hikebikebemerry · April 2014

I haven't turned down being a BM, but I think that FI's sister is going to say no. I sent her a card to ask (totally not my style, but I knew that she may not go to the ceremony for religious reasons, so I didn't want to put her in an awkward spot by having to say it to my face)

MrsAitch · April 2014

I had one who had to drop out the day after I asked her. She was really excited and said yes, but then the next day she called me so worried because she had forgotten she would be driving back from vacation the same day as our wedding. Even though she would think she'd be back in the morning, she was worried she would get stuck in traffic or something and not make it in time and so declined to be a bridesmaid. I said we would miss her being in the wedding party and hoped she could still make it to the wedding anyway.

whitjoy · April 2014

I had one drop...well...kinda... Basically, she had been dating my brother for 7 years, I've known her forever and wanted her to be in the wedding. One month after asking her I find out that my brother cheated on her and they were breaking up. Mortified...I sent her a $200 check to cover the cost of the dress and we haven't spoken since.

larrygaga · April 2014

I said no because it was someone asking me who I barely know. I think she was doing the whole wedding party prop thing. I wasn't willing to even go to the wedding because it was OOT and I barely know her!

I told her I couldn't afford it and she didn't offer to pay for my dress or anything like that. So I got out scot-free.

pinkshorts27 · April 2014

I had one guy turn me down. The guy I fought with my dad about asking (different thread). Finally managed to ask. He said he wouldn't feel comfortable. He is pretty shy and didn't want to be the only guy on my side. I understood completely.

He gets completely awkward because people think we are engaged allll of the time. We go to most social events together (as friends), take many of the same classes so we study together often, and I'm long distance with my FI so there are a lot of assumptions made by others. He is awkward when people assume and I laugh it off. I love to tease him about it, just because that button is sooo big, it is hard not to push it. But if he wouldn't always bring me as his plus one, I think some of his friends might actual believe we aren't engaged. haha.

RissAnn1970 · April 2014

One good friend said no because her mom was really sick & she was the only one taking care of her, running her to dialysis & all that, and taking care of the funeral & everything after she died.

sarahufl · April 2014

I've never said no. I have spent money I didn't feel comfortable spending and wore dresses I hated, but I still served as a bridesmaid a glorious 9 times. Glad that part of my life is pretty much over.

I only asked my sister, SIL and 1 best friend to be a BM for my wedding. I told them to find a grey dress they liked and call it a day - all 3 were very excited to be asked.

Jen4948 · April 2014

RissAnn1970 said:

One good friend said no because her mom was really sick & she was the only one taking care of her, running her to dialysis & all that, and taking care of the funeral & everything after she died.

That's very sad. But I definitely understand why she declined.

abbyj700 · April 2014

None of our BM said no. But one of GM did. He's in the middle of a bad divorce and isn't willing to be a part of anything relating to marriage (yet he still wanted to be invited, go figure). It really hurt my FI- but luckily he elected to ask another friend (I know, I know, he shouldn't have asked a back-up) but this friend is so very excited to be a part of our big day, he's very honored and it's helped FI cope with the idea of his close friend saying no to standing by him on his big day.

Did anyone say no to being your bridesmaid?

Re: Did anyone say no to being your bridesmaid?

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