my cat is unwell. she's always had problems with reoccurring tumours on her left eyelid. we've had them surgically removed 5 times now. but it's always a horrible trauma for her... the surgery and the recovery process. she's an old lady now and i cannot put her through all that again. I'm doing my best to make her comfortable with meds but it's so hard knowing that she's only getting worse every day. she's not in pure misery, her days are mostly good but I know it's only a matter of time for the bad to outweigh the good. and then I shall have to have her put to sleep. trying to figure out when exactly that moment is just turns my stomach into knots.
I used to work in animal welfare so I have been through it a million times, I've always been the one to arrange for my family's pets to be put down. but my cat is the first pet I went and found on my own and has been solely cared for by me. I tease that she's my "firstborn".
the wedding is coming up soon and she will have to go stay at the vet's while we are out of town and I know that will be hard on her. she is used to being my spoilt little girl at home. I worry that she will get really sick while I'm gone. cats can get depressed and make themselves even sicker. there's really nothing I can do to fix this situation. it just breaks my heart. I know she's not a person and many folks out there have much worse to deal with. some people think I'm crazy for being so emotionally invested in my cats but I don't have kids and I don't think we ever will.
I wish their lifespans weren't do much shorter than ours. sigh.